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I tried but I didn't make it.


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I really tried really hard not to cry. I missed my mom so much this Christmas. I tried to make her cookies, they didn't look anything like hers, I took things for granted and I never really observed closely on how she was making things, thinking she was going to be around for a while. I am so tired right now. I hope you all survived the holiday with minimal pain. Like Don said I am waiting for 2007 to be a better year. Even if the one year anniversary is coming up.

Take care!


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You know it was VERY important to my Mom that we continue to live and enjoy life and to try to smile as much as she could even when she was gone.

But she also lived through example so many times, and when she was grieving, she taught me that it's ok to hurt... it's ok to cry. It's ok for the happy thing to not seem so happy.

So.... I think even though our Mom's want nothing but happiness for us, I think they totally 'get it' that right now the tears are close to the surface and even as we celebrate we grieve....

(((((hugs)))))) to you. And I can offer this small bit of encouragement: Last year doing the "Mom things" at Christmas hurt, and hurt badly.

This year they are a comfort as it means she is still part of Christmas even 'over a year' later. Don't get me wrong--I still cried. I got teary eyes making fudge, and frustrated that I didn't have HER recipe for it. I got teary eyed making her coffee cake. I got teary eyed watching our special movies wtihout her. But... I also was so happy that she was still a part of the holiday. That part didn't hurt so much. My husband tells me it doesn't get easier, it just gets different, and I'm glad that this time different meant that I could take some comfort from those things....

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, knowing that your Mom is proud of you, and knowing that she understands why you hurt. She's your Mama.... Doesn't she always?



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Do not feel bad. I tried and I cryed too. Deb used to decorate our xmas tree,a nd she did a lousy job this year cause she is not here to do it any more.

:( I put up outside leghts to get by this year though, it was not the same. HUGS AND PRAYERS FOR YOU AND ALL OF US THIS WEEK!! :)

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I wish I could wave the magic wand. My Christmas was rough too - Arnold' spassing is way too fresh. Nothing seemed right. I tried, but no matter how much I wanted to do otherwise, I cried. I think a lot of us did that and now I think it's not so bad to cry.

I think I'll try to do things differently next year. because it will never be the same. I might as well find some new ways to do things.

I pray that God will grant you strength for each new day.

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