jdjenkins Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 I'm sure there are many others on this board who feel the same way as I do about 2006. I know it was the worst year of my life. I lost my loving father early in January of 2006. Not one day has gone by that I have not shed a tear for my Dad. I never imagined I would miss him so very much. Life will never be the same. While dealing with my own grief,I watched my much loved Mother go through the most emotional pain I have ever seen. As deep as my grief was I knew it was nothing compared to hers. Then in August she had hip replacement surgery which left her homebound way to long for someone grieving. I tried so hard to do everything I could to help her and lift her spirits. Well the toll of the last two years dealing with Dad's lung cancer and being the only sibbling there daily to help out emotionally and physically took its toll on me. After Mom was on her road to recovery I guess it was my turn to fall apart. I went into a deep depression in the Fall, I sought professional help having a strong family history of depression, I knew I needed outside help. Then to top it all off my husband came to me and said he was unhappy with out marriage. He has been feeling neglected the past few years. While I was tending to Dad's emotional and physically problems, trying to help my Mom surive this journey without losing her too, trying to be a good mother to my children and keep their life as normal as possible, working part-time outside the home and full time inside the the home. I quess I didn't have much left for caring for him. We are getting help, but it does not seem to be helping much. This was quite a shock to me as he told me there is a wall up between us and he can not seem to get it down. We are going through the motions for my kids, but I can tell you it was hard to go through the first Christmas without Dad, in a home with no affection or love from my husband. So at mid-nite tonight I will joyously say goodbye to 2006, not knowing what 2007 will hold for me, but praying for better days. I wish you all a happy and healthy 2007, full of God's miracles. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Denise, So sorry to hear about the marital issues. Of course there is a wall up!!! Duh!!! You have been battered from side to side by the events of the year and it does take a toll on someone emotionally. You do begin to "wall off" or withdraw. It is a survival mechanism. Someone who hasn't gone through this type of long-term stress won't understand. I do hope the counseling helps -- this is your marriage and your life-partner, after all. Hopefully the two of you will find a way back to center, refocus on each other and your children, and move foreward. Life needs to go on. It is your choice how to proceed. Prayers for a better 2007! Welthy (lost my Mother & Father 5 years apart - been there, done that.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Goodbye, 2006! Hello, 2007! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Littlegirl Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Denise - I am sorry 2006 was a rough year for you and I hope 2007 brings much peace and happiness. I agree 2006 was one I want to put behind us. Started with my hubby gone for 3 months working in Canada while I was left here to hold down the fort by myself (but I know some people do this permanently or for a much longer time so I can't complain). Then mom's diagnosis in February (yep my hubby was not here at that time either). Got mom through her treatments and she seems to be doing very well but my dad has been in the hospital for 5 weeks now. Had some rough moments there but he will be going home Jan. 2. Now that I think about it I guess 2007 will be starting off rough too as we will be taking turns helping out with dad as he is not too strong physically or mentally. Being a care giver is rough on relationships. Even with my children (my 10 year old does not like that I've spent to much time at the hospital.) Hoping we all have a GREAT 2007. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Denise, I can't find the words , but I feel your pain. I'm so very sorry and I will keep you in my prayers. May 2007 bring with it new hope for all. God Bless, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Dear Denise, Here it is New Years eve of 2006 and I am here typing on my computer and Joel has not moved from bed and has only eaten a small portion of cereal. This time the chemo really got to him. He is so sick. I can't wait for this day to be over. I know he will feel better tomorrow. So I am not greiving as persay anything like you are going through, but good bye, good riddence, so long, to 2006. Sorry for all you are going through. You must feel like your world is upside down. I wish I had some words of wisdom to comfort you but all I can do is send prayers to you for healing from all this anguish you have and still are going through. I feel your pain and I could only imagine how hurt you are. I hope 2007 will be a better year for you and you begin to heal. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Oh, honey, Oh, honey. hugs and understanding. Love Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Denise, Your post really touched me. I truly hope for a wonderful and healing 2007 for you. I hope that one year from tonight, you are looking back on a year that was much, much better for you than 2006 was. mc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Looking back at 2006 has me very torn. This time last year I was in intensive care, watching the ball drop in Times Square on TV with the nurses. I had just awakened from a medically induced coma of about 16 days. I didn't know where I was or what was going on. But I did know it was new year 2006 and somehow I felt glad that I was still around! Well, I still feel glad to be around and it's 2007!!!! Good Golly, Miss Molly, that is WONDERFUL, no matter how you look at it!!!!! Now I have another year, with many challenges ahead of me. But I'm still here to face those challenges. Thank God. Some days are very hard, that's for sure, but, God is always by my side. God bless us all in 2007. Never Give Up. Keep Trying! Joanie ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 [jdjenkins] ...Then to top it all off my husband came to me and said he was unhappy with our marriage. He has been feeling neglected the past few years... Oh, Denise, I don't know where to begin. I have (had is a better word) a good friend from way back who pulled something similar. His dear wife stuck with him through a challenging military career, then when he retired she began to pursue her longtime goal of attending medical school and becoming a physician -- a fact that he proudly announced to everyone around. Then after a couple of years he asked for a divorce. He explained to me on the phone with that "I'm the victim" tone of voice that she had become too busy to give him all the "attention" he thought he deserved. I couldn't believe it! Absolutely couldn't believe it! I haven't seen him since. I think there's no question that 2007 will be a better year for you. My very best wishes and Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 Denise, I join you in saying Goodbye to 2006. It was not a good year for me and I need to learn too deal with some "family issues" which really surfaced surrounding my father's passing. (Oh, how I miss my Dad!). I've tried to deal with them with counselling and so far, not successsfully. But I will deal with them or at least reach acceptance and move on. Life is just too short! I have been looking forward to 2007 as a new beginning. I'm so sorry that on top of everything else that you have to deal with marital issues. Don't give up on the counselling though. If you are unhappy with your counsellor, try a new one. They do have very different approaches. I hope your husband wants to work on the relationship too. Wishing you only the very best for 2007 - gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted January 1, 2007 Share Posted January 1, 2007 I am bittersweet about 07...06 was the worst year of my life but the first 8 months I had what I perceived as a healthy mother. So 06 gets a bad rap. 07 will be the first year I am without my Mom from pillar to post. So although I have hopes for 07...there is still 2/3s of 06 which were worth holding onto. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 Dear Denise, I'm so sorry for all you are going thru as the year came to an end. I, like you, am looking forward to 2007 and hope that things get better in your life and home. Please give my regards and best wishes to your mother. Much love and prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeR Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Denise, I can so relate to the grieving you are going through losing your dad. I lost my dad in Sept. 2004 and there are still few days that tears aren't shed over losing him. I miss him and the way life was so much. I understand the emotional and physical toll it takes on you caring for everyone. I was the sibling to take care of my dad. I would not trade a minute of time spent with dad, but I sure wish I had more help. I was so tired and emotionally drained that I was falling apart. I also had a family (husband and 2 teenage daughters) at home that needed my care. I just didn't have enough of me to go around to everyone. I am so sorry to hear you are having marital problems. I hope the help you are getting helps. I hurt for you. I know exactly what it does to you when you lose a wonderful dad and while grieving you still need to care for everyone. It is a struggle to find any time to take care of you. I sure hope you find that time in 2007. In few days it will be 3 years since dad was dx. I think just recently reality has set in and I realize this is my new life. I know dad wouldn't want me to live like this and so this year I am taking care of myself and doing everything possible to make my dad proud. If you ever need to talk I am here. I understand. Take care Denise. Hope 2007 is a much better year for you. Diane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 Denise, I agree 2006 has not been a very good year for me either. As a matter of fact, neither was 2005. So I am really hoping for a much happier, healthier, and more prosperous 2007 for us all! God Bless, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dihen Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 {{Denise}} Not much to add only that your post tugged at my heart as I was able to relate to much of it having been there once or twice myself. Depression is also prevalent in my family and I am so glad that you were able to recognize it and seek help. Be kind to yourself - have no guilt or remorse for what you did for your dad and then for your mom. In time, I think your husband will come around and realize that you did what you had to do! I think you are an incredibly wonderful soul! May 2007 bring you much peace and happiness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted January 6, 2007 Author Share Posted January 6, 2007 Thank you all for your kind and supportive messages. I can't tell you how much comfort I received from reading your posts. It is so comforting to know there are people you understand how I'm feeling. God Bless You All! Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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