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i think i figured out my problem


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The past few days have been tough for me and i did not go to see mom today because i dont want her to feel bad that i am in a bad place now and she would sense that . I have been doing a lot of thinking and i think that i have some insight to myself now. I am very impatient and i want to fix things as quickly as possible so i want my mom "fixed" so we can move on to the next thing and continue our lives as before but cancer didnt happen all of a sudden (it seems so) and i cant expect that she will get better all of a sudden. So i will accept my ticket for the ride and maybe make some new friends along the way and I will learn some things i didnt know before and i will be stonger and better able to handle what life throws my way next. And when my mom is home and we are enjoying each others company then i can say that "we" are survivors because the whole family will have survived lung cancer.

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Thanks for posting this! I just had an "aha!" moment! My mother is in the hospital recovering from her surgery (right lung removed) and she's very weak and her oxygen saturation goes way down when she does the simplest of things (sitting up, moving to the edge of the bed, standing, sitting down in a chair, etc.) After reading your post I realize that I've been expecting her to progress much faster and I'm too anxious for her to be back to "normal". I need to slow my expectations down and accept her gradual improvement and do my best to encourage her and motivate her and support her and celebrate every small milestone with her.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Your post really resonated with me and I feel like I've gotten my thinking in a much better place!

Good luck to you!

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"The New Normal" (that's how I always see it in my head when I say it :wink: ) is about the worst thing I've ever dealt with...yet has been a blessing. It has taught me, as it seems to have helped you to see, that *I* can't fix the world, as much as I'd like to and that sometimes it IS ok to slow down and just live life one day at a time and ENJOY it!!

And yes...I believe everyone touched by this disease ends up being a "survivor" in a way, too.

Many prayers for you and your mom!

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That is really great insight. My husbands sisters live out east and it is driving them crazy not being here to comfort him and help him. My sister in law asked me how I do it and I told her that you just do. Similar thing - it is a ride...an unexpected ride and a long ride by the looks of it. And from a medical statistical perspective not all that encouraging. She told me that she wouldn't be able to go through this with her husband. I told her you do it - you hope - you pray - you research - you figure out every little thing possible that you had no idea about before...and the biggest thing with being a "caregiver" (which I never considered myself to be til now) is that you live it too. It becomes part of you and your routine and your life - yours - your kids - your family and your friends. I am learning now from reading this board that I don't want to look at the statistics but at the stories about other people and what they have done to get by day to day, week to week, month to month and then years. I have told my family doctor and the oncologist that we are going to push our way through this and we need support from them and the interest from them to surpass the norm.

Heather

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I know how you feel. I was like this why so long for getting test done and than treaments takeing so long to start. Wanting John to get them and getting better and on with life! Well it donesn't work that way. Some days I find myself wanting to get off this crazey ride,wake up from bad dream. That song don't know name but, for the longest time it would come to mind ( smile thro your heart is breaking). So true with this cancer. :cry:

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