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Hopsice Starts Today


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My mom gave the onc her final decision today that she will d/c treatment effective immediately. I have always said I would support her decisions, and I do, but part of me wishes she would just keep fighting!! It's her life though, and, ultimately, her death, so I just need to practice acceptance!

"Hospice" just seems like such an ugly word now though. Their home just feels like a Death House. Not trying to sound overly dramatic, but that's pretty much what it feels like. A copy of her DNR Order is in an envelope taped to the refrigerator with the word "ambulance" written on the envelope, so every time you go to get something from the fridge, there it is literally in your face.

Anyway, I just need to focus on the positive, enjoy the time left with her as best I can instead of feeling like we're in a countdown. I broke down and cried in front of her on Xmas day, told her I love her and said I was afraid she was going to die soon. I also told her she was a good mother to me. She's never been very outwardly emotional, and she just said, "I tried" in a soft voice. That's the first time I cried in front of her since this all began.

I am doing my best to be strong. I hope my brother can bring his new baby girl to mom's this weekend . . . It really perks her up. :-)

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This is a very hard time for both of you.Sometimes the treatments we take make a person so sick they want to stop them.Depending on the tx's and the results they are yielding the side and after effects get better after they end.It is my understanding that if a person wants to stop the Hospice that is permitted as well.

Wishing you and your mom the best during these tough times.

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This is a tough time for sure for both you and your family.

I think in some cases we just know when it is time and we make peace. Your Mom has obviously reached that point. I truly will pray that this time you all have to together is one which is special to you all and your Mom is very comfortable.

You have many friends here and you are in our thoughts.


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Words to remember right now I think would be these; remameber yesterday, Cherish today, and Pray for tomorrow. I will help you and send a prayer for tomorrow.

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Justine I am so sorry. I know how hard this is. You are a wonderful daughter being right by her side. Her passing will be so much more peaceful for her knowing you respect her decision.

Please know that we are here for you 24/7.

I will send prayers for a speedy and painless passing.

Maryanne :cry:

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I'm so sorry you have to enter into this phase of your Mom's journey. You are being a brave and loving daughter. It's okay to cry too!

I remember the whole transformation of my parent's house into a hospital zone for my Mom and completely understand how upsetting this is for you.

You will still have time to quietly sit and hold her hand and chat. I'd say "make the most of it", but I know you've already done so.

Warm hugs and know we are here.


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