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Dear Mom


brsarah

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The following I wrote for my mom to be read at her remembrance service on Jan. 6th. I wanted to share it with you because it reflects a little about who she is. Strength and prayers to all and once again, thank you for your love and kindness and support. So many nights, I needed it and still do. Love Sarah

Dear Mom

Let me tell you about your life as I saw it as your daughter.

Beauty

There was so much beauty in your life. You expressed your love of beautiful things. The beauty you saw was not so much in material objects, such as houses, cars vacations, but of the simple things. Geese flying over the porch, a striped kitten playing with your feet, a moon bright orange and round, rock gardens and marigolds, water falls, oceans, sand bars rising under our toes, the hot sand and the sound of ice-cream trucks. The sunlight coming through the windows at home and resting on the ivy plant or Beanie, your striped cat stretching in the late afternoon sun. You saw beauty in music, jazz, blues, rock and opera. You made sure your children knew music. I remember dancing to Fleetwood Mac or Buffy Saint Marie. You saw so much beauty in your children and you reminded us of our beauty even when we were not been acting so beautiful. You would touch my hair and tell me “You have the most beautiful hair Sarah”. You encouraged our beauty to come out. You saw so much beauty in David and his music and in his love of God. You saw beauty in my poems, in my work with people as a social worker. You saw beauty even in our flaws, you convinced me I could dance and saw beauty as I danced off step in so many dance recitals working my way to the front row so you could see. You saw beauty in our humor, our jokes, and our silliness as kids, you taught us about true beautiful things. The things of the heart and soul and mind, the things of warm hands and kind words and giving back in gracious love.

Love

You gave of your love so freely. Your love was a warm, soft safe love to be in. My mamas love was vast and wide, it could be described as a sunset over the ocean, beating with so many colors or a wild lilac bush in early spring, that was your love, a true love, one that was with us always, consistent, my mom’s love. You raised loving children. David and I have so much love to give to people. We are kind people and often wear our hearts on our sleeves. You gave that to us mama, you let us know that our love is powerful and good.

Integrity

You had integrity. You held true to your promises. You followed through with kindness to others. You taught your children integrity, to be honest, to be true, to be giving. To allow ourselves to show our beauty and see beauty in others. I use to tell you “mom your too honest”. You were a business woman, you sold houses and I can tell you that you had the utmost integrity in your business dealings than anyone I ever knew. You cared about the people you worked for and with. You were always aware, sometimes painfully so of how your actions may affect others and you were always cautious not to hurt somebody’s feelings. So many people in this world may not care how they appear to others or what their words have the ability to do to somebody, but mom, you were not into throwing stones, you were into keeping peace even if it meant, maybe getting hurt. You taught me to be gentle with people, you taught me how to tap into my own fragileness, respect the fragility of others and pick kindly my actions and words.

Strength and Courage

Life is not life without some pain. If we were all handed a silver platter with fine food in our castles we would never learn the true stuff about life. You taught us how to work through our own pain and your kindness and gentleness with our pain allowed us and prepared us to be with you in times of your pain. You blessed us with the strength not to turn away from painful things. You prepared us to be strong people, people of will and endurance. You taught me how to see strength in others and in myself, to pull at that thread of strength and turn it into a rope to hold onto. We are not shocked by the hardness or harshness of life, we simply face it with courage.

Humor

Mom, you were funny! You could be so witty and I have to say, funnier than me most times. You gave us the gift of humor. What a wonderful gift! Amazingly, there are not many funny people in the world and we are blessed to have had a mom who had a great sense of humor. Humor brought us through many tough moments, your humor picked me up during times when I was certain there was nothing to laugh about, you always found the moment and taught us in turn how to bring the humor in.

Dreams

You believed in our dreams. In your eyes, David is a musician and I am a writer. You gave us encouragement and wanted so badly the things we wanted for ourselves. I remember my senior year in high school and the swimming championships. I, of course, had dreams of breaking my time, winning the race and you too, quietly held that dream with me. When I didn’t win, but instead came in a painful third, I cried and I saw across the way, through the mist rising off of the lanes of water, you on the bleachers, at the end of the meet, crying because of my pain. You felt our hardships, you hurt when we were hurt but you always helped us rewrite our dreams, make them anew and go forth.

Comfort

You gave comfort to your children. No one can calm a child’s fear like the hand of a mother. You taught us through your giving of comfort how to comfort you to the end.

Hope

You taught me most about hope mama. We hoped for so much during life. Our hope, always kept us all going. Hope for things big and small. Hope for flowers, for sunshine, for good weather, strong lives, big dreams, good times and love, always hope for love.

Mama, You loved life and you had a beautiful life to show for it. I learned so much about you during these last four months. So many people love you, the outpouring of affection from your friends, your peers, family and even strangers is testament to the kind of person you are. You are loved mama.

I know we will still need you. I will still wake up at night sometimes urgently needing your advice. I will sit at the table wishing you were there with me, but I promise you, I will have courage, I will face the darkness, the fears of life and I will cherish my life, every aching, loving, joyful piece of it. I will continue to be the person you taught me to be and that is a good person, a person of beauty, of love, of kindness, of integrity, strength, courage, humor, a dreamer, a person who gives comfort and always a hopeful person. I love you my sweet mama. You are an auburn beauty.

Love always

Your Daughter

Sarah

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You have opened your heart and soul with those words and you have shown us how special your Mom really was.

She has molded the person you are now by teaching you all the important qualities and she just has to be watching you with such a big smile on her face.

Thank you for sharing that with us.

Warm Hugs,

Melinda

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