cindy0519 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD, not a day passes when you are not in my thoughts,my prayers and in my heart! While you are not bodily here I know that your spirit and love is with us always. Today would have been Dad's 67th birthday. A lot of "first" are hitting me all at once..thanksgiving, christmas, a new year and now his birthday. It's just so damn hard and hurts like hell...most days it seems even harder now than when he died in June. I have been VERY busy with work and sort of taking the approach of staying so busy that I don't have time to think about it. Frankly, denial is a great coping mechanism for me most days. When I actually allow myself time to think about it all - its almost an all consumming feeling of emptiness and sadness. I know he would not want for me (or anyone he knew and loved for that matter) he always said loud and clear that his one wish would be that our lifes would go on as normal, that we wouldn't greive for him. So I try to pick myself up and tackle one day at a time but I'd be lying if I didn't admit how darn difficult it is at times! I allow myself to cry and feel sad..but only in small spurts - then I think of Dad and how often he told me "life should go on" and it often makes me grin and sometime even chuckle (did he really think we could not grieve??? )..so I wipe away the tears and get on with life. I have been reading everyones post and often sit and shed a tear while shaking my head in agreement and feeling the pain of recalling many of the same events and emotions that many here post about. I haven't been able to bring myself to post. I have tried many times but end up deleting the reply. I don't really feel like I "know" how to be an uplifting voice right now and don't want to add to others suffering - so I just read and often weep with you. Wishing you all a peaceful and love filled new year! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Cindy, WOW! Reading your post makes me feel like you and I are living the same nightmare.. My Dad passed away about 7mts before your did and I still can't believe he's gone. Some mornings I wake up thinking GOD help me make it through this day,Someone please tell me how I'm going to live the rest of my life and never see my Dad again.. I was Daddy Girl!! We have to get through it! What other choice is there.. Love Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 (((Cindy))) I understand!!! Love , Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I'm so sorry... I know these days are rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 No words..just a hug, Cindy Blessings, Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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