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from bad to worse

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well my mom didnt go for the biopsy instead she went to the emergency room at 11:30pm last nite. The doctor at rehab called my dad and said it was not a good idea to send her for a biopsy after the weekend she had. He told my dad that because she was in such bad shape he could send her to emergency or they could keep here there and watch to see what happened. I told dad to send her right away. He went to meet her at the hospital and i met him there. It is an hour drive from my house to them and when i got there she still wasnt there. She got there about 20 min later and i was outside when they took her out of the ambulance and i almost passed out because she looked dead.(worst moment of my life im glad dad didnt see it). they got her in and tried to draw blood but couldnt find a vein to work> i finally suggested to try the port a cath and that worked. Her oxygen was at 82 and they hooked her up to oxygen and that brought it up to 97. She was running a temp and her wbc was 0.6. They started blood transfusions and were waiting to send her to an ICU room. Today they did more blood and some more x rays and the x rays they did of her chest today are worse than the ones they did last night. My sister sat with her most of today. I had to come home to get my son to school today and i had to work 12-10pm. i am so afraid she will die and no one will be with her. this is a nightmare i cant seem to wake up from. How can she get so sick again so fast? How do you all cope with all of this. How do we know when enuff is enuff?

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Katie thanks so much for being here.

I just dont know how to help her or how to be there for her and not be able to fix things. I cant stand to see her suffer. And i cant stand to see my dad so afraid. And i cant stand feeling so lost and not knowing what is the right thing to do.

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Crystal -

You are doing everything you can do. We want to get our moms out of pain, to make them comfortable, to give them peace......juts love her. This is in God's hands. Make sure you have said everything you want to say to your mom, try and breath. Take each minute and hour as they come. Don't try to figure out the future... you can't control it.

I don't know what you believe, but I believe that your mom is NOT alone not now, not ever.

We are here for you. Many of us have been down the road you are on right now.

Prayers for all of you tonight. I sent you a PM as well.


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Many prayers headed your way. This beast has a mind

of its own. All we can do is trust the Drs. are giving our loved ones the best possible care.

It can be a very helpless feeling when our loved ones

are in such terrible shape, but never give up hope.

Hold on, stay strong, cry when you need to and remember we are all here for you.

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I am so sorry. I'm going thorugh the same thing with my dad, although his is not cancer related. It's hard to know what to do and when to do it but just do what is in your heart. Try to spend as much time as you can with her and let the doctors try to help her. She is not alone and neither are you. Your in my prayers.


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