Gina D. Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Tomorrow (9-30) I get my FIRST big check up. Chest CT and abdominal/cervical CT. I am going to be spending my whole day in the machine, except that I get a lunch break.. but I can't eat lunch I won't really want one anyway..they have given me this YUMMY barium shake to drink before I go in. (At least there will be no probe involved with this one I have read and heard all of you talk about test jitters. Is the first one the hardest? I feel almost like I am 100% again. Very little pain left, mental attitude less stressed and I am doing things to go FORWARD in life, rather than putting things on hold. Except for tomorrow and the following days until the results are in. My nervousness and depression showed today, one of my co-workers that I am not even very close to asked if I was OK because he saw something "wasn't right". We just experienced the loss of a relatively young co-worker to cancer, and everyone is on thier guard at this time, and questioning my good prognosis. I must admit, I am too. I believe all this is normal...how do we cope with it? I don't know what is a worse thought. Going through this nervousness for 5 more years, or the disease itself. Rant and whine over. THX. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy O. Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Hi there. I think that for me the first year was the hardest. I had chest xray's every three months and a ct scan at a year. I freaked out pretty much the whole first year. After that it started to get a little easier. I passed the 2 year mark since surgery in June of this year. Good luck tomorrow and try not to worry too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina, hang in there. I have the big scans scheduled for 1 month from now so I can't answer your questions. Just stay calm. I know you can do it and you know you can do it, heck if you can get that Barium down you can do the tests, ha,ha. Sounds like a long day. Glad you feel so good that will make it a lot easier. Hang in there and keep the Faith. Fight, Fight, Fight!!!!!!!! David C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lenr8 Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 I think all you can do is hope for the best. I get my results today after raidiation to see if the radiation worked. I will take the news I get good or bad and try to be positive about it. i hope you can do that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrie Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina- Just had those scans a couple of weeks ago - the barium was just a delight!!!! (yuk!!!) I refrigerated it and sucked it down with a straw as fast as I could!! It wasn't as bad as I had built it up to be! The waiting indeed is just the WORST - and we've all been there, right??!!! I will keep you in my prayers for your GOOD NEWS!! God bless- Terrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina, waiting to hear good news!!! We are on your side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina, I can relate. The first year I had scans (CT/MRI) every 3 months, and I was just waiting for the whole world to cave in. I got to one year, and got a clean bill of health, and scratched my head and said what now?? Does this mean I am going to have a LIFE? Maybe it's time to get that dental work done I've been putting off... and go shopping for new sneakers... It took a while for it to sink in, because in my mind I had been targeting 1 year and not thinking beyond that. Not deliberately, but that's what I did. I still get kind of wierd before my tests, which now are every six months. and I stay that way until I get the surgeon's report, which until now have been all good... and I pray they continue that way. My surgeon says the further along one goes without recurrence, the more likely one will stay without recurrence. I try to believe him, because he's seen much more than I ever will. I would get kind of numb and say a million Hail Marys in the testing rooms. But this, too, shall pass. The tests aren't really that long, and you'll talk to your doctor fairly soon afterwards. Good luck, and have fun with the milkshakes.... we've all been there... I'll keep you in my prayers, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina D. Posted September 30, 2003 Author Share Posted September 30, 2003 Thanks everyone, for your replies. They finished up with me early by shuffling the schedule so I didn't have to go away and come back. Now the wait starts. Think I will get out the lawn chair and take a nap in the sun. After a valium... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina, One of the things I've done to help me deal with the time issues (time between recurrences, time between thoracotomies, time between scans, time on my hands) was to go out and buy a new car. No joke...buy a new car and finance the puppy for 60 months. (I made sure it was one with a 0 percent interest rate, but that's just me). There is nothing like being locked into a 5 year car loan to put "longevity" issues into perspective. I will survive this car...and I will survive it's loan. Hope the scan results are clearly clear. Fay A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Gina, Go out and rent a scary video like "the Birds" or something else that will keep your mind occupied tonight. Of course the valium will probably be just as good if not better. I did like Fay A. suggestion too. Try a new T-Bird.... Will say a extra prayer for you tonight. I feel you will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobmc Posted September 30, 2003 Share Posted September 30, 2003 Hey Gina, Yep, them da-- tests just go with the disease. It gets a bit easier with time, but its always there. Ya know that thought in your head that maybe this time I won't be so lucky and then waiting. It just sucks!! Someone said it and it was also true for me that the first year was the toughest. My next set will be in Dec. at 2 &1/2 years and yes, it is easier. I've also learned like Terrie to refrig. the barium but I put it in a glass and gulp the sh__t and then holler like hell when I'm done. I also learned to schedule my tests early. I'm usually there at 7:30 AM and have it down to where I can get a head, chest and abdomen scan done, along with x-rays in about 2 hr.'s. Then run like hell for the bathrm and get rid of the barium. Ohhh what a life we lead. And then when I really get down and think about it!!! I'm very, very grateful that I can do all of the above!!! Just keep telling yourself " GOOD TO BE A SURVIVOR TODAY" Works for me. I'm be praying for god news. God bless and stay well Bobmc- NSCLC-stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01 " absolutely insist on enjoying life today!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina D. Posted October 1, 2003 Author Share Posted October 1, 2003 > grateful that I can do all of the above!!! The guy that did the scans kept apologising for me having to lay there for so long. I told him "It sure beats laying in a casket". He hadn't thought about it from that angle. I also told him I wished I knew who the radiologist that spotted that minature nodule was, because he probably saved my life. The guy said they never here "Thank Yous", only lawsuits and that he would find out who it was and be sure to pass my message along. I hope he does..I want to give the rad. a hug. Even if he reported bad news, he still kept me from hearing worse later down the road. LOL on the car! I already did JUST that, in July, with the 60 mo. financing 2003 Honda Element. And I bought a little travel trailer to tow behind it. I want to RV around the country when I retire..I am just starting it a little early! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted October 1, 2003 Share Posted October 1, 2003 Good luck Gina...I'm sure all will be fine!! I had a bone scan and brain MRI on a Thursday in August because I had not had them before surgery in June. They told me to call on Friday for the results so I only had to wait 24 hours. I remember picking up the phone Friday and wanting to call...but then hanging up..thinking, okay, I"ll wait till Monday to call because I don't really want to hear bad news. Then I thought, okay..but it may be good news...and I'll be putting myself thru 2 days of hell for nothing! Read the above 2 sentences about 140 times, and that was how I spent my Friday afternoon. I finally made myself sick so I called and was told all was negative. Then I remember thinking...I should have called earlier!! I don't think that there IS an easy way and I'll be in your shoes again next month! I'm bad at this too...in addition, I always "read" things that the xray technicians say. I was "convinced" that the technicians in the bone scan exchanged knowing glances and was stressed because one of them told me to "Take care of myself" when I left. Of course, I disected that one..what did he mean..take care of myself??? Was I sick??? Or did he say that to everyone???!! I'm surprised I didn't stalk him after work, so that I could ask him what he meant!!!! You've got company anyway....we can all be neurotic together these first couple years! Debi 47 years old Stage 1a-nsclc Surgery June 16, 2003- Upper & mid lobe removed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gina D. Posted October 3, 2003 Author Share Posted October 3, 2003 Thanks everyone! Your encouragement and honest responses helped me get through this a lot better than if I was "all alone". Check the Good News forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.