Sexual Side Effects

[Guest]

I was too embarssed to post this logged in.. It makes me feel selfish, But has any men out there had sexual issues due to taking chemo? If so did any of you talk to the doctor and what was their answers or suggestions? Or is there sex after chemo? I miss my husband sexually, We tried once in between chemos and it just didn't work... I know he hasn't felt good, but even when he does, he doesn't seem to want to try. I never pressure him, but I miss him and hes even told me hes sorry, which I don't want him to be sorry..Its not his fault...He says hes lost all sexual desire. We always had a great sex life. I want this for him more than for me... Can something be done? I know there viagra, but that doesn't give you the desire.

[Guest]

I'm so glad someone brought this up. I too was wondering about this. I miss the closeness we once had. This monster sure changes a lot of things in your life.

[Guest]

My husband and I stopped having sex a few months before he was diagnosed. I figured we had just hit a bump in the road, but the reality was that he had completely lost his sex drive due to his cancer. I believe this is a common problem.

[kimblanchard]

I had this discussion with my husband and my husband's doctor too, not to long after he started chemo. The doctor said it's a side effect of the chemo, pain and anxiety. It's a very difficult thing for loving partners to go through. I eased my husband's disappointment and told him his energy's were needed else where and not to worry about that, but it is yet another terrible side effect to go through..have patience and much love together in spite of this horrible disease, Prayers..Kim.

[Guest]

I also told my husband not to worry about it, that all I cared about was that he was alive... But I also miss the closeness we once shared so dang much!!! We too haven't had a sexual relationship since before he was dx..This damn diseased has robbed us all of so much...The sad part is now when you really want to feel that closeness we can't..I hate cancer and everything it has taken from us...I tried to do a search on this topic, but didn't have any luck.. I guess no one really wants to bring this up, probably for the same reason I logged on as a guest...I almost feel ashamed even bringing up the subject...

[norme]

A great hug goodnight does the same thing. Holding hands does the same. A kiss on the cheek does the same. Just having him here at my side is love enough for me.....anyone can have sex....not everyone can have the great feeling from a kiss or hug for without love for one another, you don't get those great feeling from any of them.... it would be like kissing your brother/sister.....

That's just my two cents worth .....

PS. I am assuming you are all the caregivers. Need some answers from both the male and female patients.....but I still stick with the above for now...What does an old lady 67 know anyway..... She knows love.....46 years of it.....

[SandyS]

Veeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrry interesting............

I should have signed out, but oh well, here goes.

When I was diagnosed and going thru all my treatments, I was VERY amorous. But now I understand that it was a desperate attempt to feel "alive" and to know that even bald and pale that I was still desirable.

Strange that this would be different for men and women.....or maybe it just depends how deep your depression is also..........

Hang in there and snuggle close!

SandyS

[Guest]

I am a male in my mid 40's. When I had my chemo my sex drive went down. I feel that it was not the chemo but could have been. I just could not get my mind on sex no matter what my wife did. I think that I was afraid. I was scared that I would not be able to get an erection. I did not want to start something and leave her in the cold. I have been off chemo now for about 4 months and had lung surgery in June. We have started to have sex about 1 1/2 month ago. Once I found out that everything still worked, the fear susided. We don't have sex as much as we used to, but it is getting back to normal. I suggest that for the ones that are concerned about this to just give it a little time and don't get angery or frusterated. This will only make your partner feel more insecure and helpless. With cancer no one needs any more stress. I also felt like I was letting my wife down. One day I decided...why not... If it don't work then she is no worse off then if I did not try. It did work but not the best. Anyway my point is to try and the second try will be better. Before you know it it will be back to normal. Good Luck.

I hope this is not to blunt and I too am having trouble typing this.

I think this is a good topic as long as it is clean language.

[Guest]

When I went trough my 1st session (which was a learning session) the onc nurse told me and my spouse to be sure and use a condom if we had sex. She also said that sex would be good for us cause it would relieve stress. She said to use condoms so as not to give your partner the side effects of chemo such as the blood count etc. She also said to flush comode 3 times if you only had 1 comode. Was not sure if anyone knew this and thought I'd pass it along in case some of you did want sex during chemo. I did not have any side effects of this type except I was tired. I had sex about an hour after I awoke so as not to be tired.

[dadstimeon]

*************************************************************

The Power Of People Helping People / The Power Of Knowledge / The Power Of God / The Power Of Believing / The Power Of Positive Thinking / The Power Of Never Taking No For An Answer / That’s The Key

*************************************************************

http://www.usnews.com/usnews/nycu/healt ... hqcanc.htm (Best Hospitals)

https://www.alcase.org/advocacy/sign_the_petition.html (Advocacy /Sign the Petition)

http://www.cancersymptoms.org (Oncology Nursing Society)

http://www.plwc.org/plwc/MainConstructo ... 08,00.html http://www.alcase.org/education/publica ... reath.html (With Every Breath A Lung Cancer Guidebook / From ALCASE / A Wealth Of Information / Free)

http://www.cancersurvivaltoolbox.org (The Cancer Survival Toolbox / Free / From NCCS)

http://www.centerwatch.com (Clinical Trails Listing Service / Center Watch)

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&editi ... ung+cancer (Lung Cancer In The News)

http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/pro ... /guide.asp (The Wellness Community / National Cancer Support, Education And Support / Free)

http://www.drugs.com (Drug Information Online)

http://www.alcase.org (ALCASE / Alliance For Lung Cancer Advocacy, Support, Education)

http://www.nlm.nih.gov (Unites States / National Library Of Medicine)

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/encyclopedia.html (Health Information / Medical Encyclopedia)

http://www.google.com (Great Search Engine)

http://blochcancer.org (R.A. Bloch Cancer Foundation, Inc. / Please read: A Letter to all newly diagnosed cancer patients)

http://www.cancer.org (American Cancer Society)

http://www.cancer.gov (Cancer Information Service / NCI)

http://www.cancerresearchcenter.org (Cancer Research Center)

http://www.aicr.org (American Institute for Cancer Research; Nutrition Hotline / AICR)

http://www.cancerhopenetwork.org (Cancer Hope Network)

http://www.acor.org (Association of Cancer Online Resources / Free Online Lifeline For Everyone Affected By Cancer & Related Disorders)

http://www.meds.com/lung/lunginfo.html (Lung Cancer Information Library)

http://www.lungusa.org (American Lung Association)

http://www.ama-assn.org (American Medical Association)

http://www.docguide.com/news/content.ns ... g%20Cancer (Doctor’s Guide / Lung Cancer)

http://www.healthfinder.gov/Scripts/Sea ... ?topic=506 (Healthfinder)

http://www.medicinenet.com/Lung_Cancer/article.htm (Medicine Net)

http://www.cancerindex.org/clinks2l.htm (Cancer Index / Lung Cancer Resources Directory)

http://www.nfcr.org/site/PageServer?pag ... ncers_lung (National Foundation For Cancer Research)

http://www.patientadvocate.org (Patient Advocate Foundation)

http://www.lungcanceronline.org/effects ... fects.html (Lung Cancer Online / Hematologic (Blood) Effects)

http://www.cancerlinks.org/lung.html (Lung Cancer Links)

http://www.cancer-free.com (Cancer Free Connections)

http://www.healthinsite.gov.au/topics/C ... ung_cancer (Health Insite)

http://www.lungcancerclaims.com (Lung Cancer / Lung Cancer Information Page)

http://www.cancerlifecenter.com/engine. ... =dictionar (Cancer Life Center/ Cancer Dictionary)

http://www.canceryellowpages.com/Resour ... G%20CANCER (Cancer yellow Pages)

http://icare.org (ICARE / The International Cancer Alliance)

http://www.vh.org/index.html (Virtual Hospital)

http://www.lungcanceronline.org/support/financial.html (Lung Cancer Online / Financial, Legal & Insurance Issues)

http://cancernews.healthology.com/focus ... cancernews (Cancer News)

************************************************************

If I Could Catch a Rainbow:

If I could catch a rainbow, I would do it just for you, And share with you its beauty, On the days you’re feeling blue. If I could build a mountain, You call your very own, A place to find serenity, A place to be alone. If I could take your troubles, I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I’m finding, Are impossible for me. I cannot build a mountain, Or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best A friend that’s always there. Author Unknown

*************************************************************

[Guest]

Just wanted to let everyone know that we finally had sex last night. I had to persuade him to try and boy DID IT WORK. Thanks for all the replies to this. He lasted longer than he ever has, ( about 2 1/2 hours). His erection was so hard that I don't think a dozer could have pulled it down.

[bart ziggie ( Greg )]

Well i was going to post a reply here but looks like all the bases have been covered......lol. No honestly thanks for the post. This is a very sensitive issue to say the least. I know for me after about my third round of chemo i started to change physically. Things just werent working right. Which in turn led to a psycological thing i think. For me though i think alot of it was and is that my mind,thoughts,days,nights, are consumed with cancer and cancer thoughts. With all of that going on in my mind coupled with all the treatments and other things i just plain and simple could not and still cannot have sex. This for me was a bombshell. I had been living a pretty promiscuous lifestyle prior to my diagnosis. Going out and chasing girls being on top of my list. Soooooo i have had to accept this as just another thing that this disease can so readily take from me and not think twice about. I must admit though even in my best days 2 1/2 hrs with something a " DOZER " couldnt pull down is quite impressive..... lol at any rate thanks for the post and i wish you continued succsess with this issue.

Greg

[Carleen]

I think this is probably more common than most people will admit to, even to their doctors.

After many long discusssions on this topic with my husband, I wound up doing some research on the topic. We too have had problems in this area. (Who would ever believe it, normally we couldn't keep our hands off each other)

My husband has been feeling so much guilt and embarrassment over this issue, and it broke my heart. I wanted to know exactly what was going on, and reassure him that it wasn't him, it was medical.

I was right. It is a VERY common side effect of the chemo. Chemo works by destroying rapidly replicating cells. Well, seminal fluid are very rapidly replicating cells. A few doctors I've talked to said that depending on the chemo, the doses and number of cycles sex drive can be greatly affected. Most men experience some level of impotence. Only in rare cases is it permanent. Most experience a return of sexual desire after stopping chemo for a few months. It is completely normal, and not a reflection on the love and true desire between a couple.

I find that my husband and I kiss and cuddle so much more now than ever before. I don't feel like he doesn't desire me, it just isn't on the physical plane anymore, it is on a higher level now.

[Snowflake]

One quick thought/input here:

Many taking chemo, or taking care of those with cancer, are on anti-depressants. Sexual side effects are pretty common with most of these medications (Wellbutrin advertises low incidences of sexual side effects)...

[Guest]

I just want everyone to know that I really appreciate your honesty especially from the men...But I also want to add that whoever put in this comment pretending to be me even though I signed in under guest, that I did not put in the below comment, which I believe whoever did this was making fun of me and the rest of the people on here.. thanks

Just wanted to let everyone know that we finally had sex last night. I had to persuade him to try and boy DID IT WORK. Thanks for all the replies to this. He lasted longer than he ever has, ( about 2 1/2 hours). His erection was so hard that I don't think a dozer could have pulled it down.

[bart ziggie ( Greg )]

Dear guest, i almost fell over when i read your reply here. Whomever did this is definately a sick individual. I had no idea that it wasnt you and i thought you were just shedding a little humor on a serious situation. Hopefully the clown who did this gets the message here and realizes its not funny. Sorry about my comment now at the end of my reply. I had no idea. Boy this really ticks me off.

Sincerely

Greg

[Guest]

Greg, I'm glad I decided to check this site again. You don't know how much this made me mad!!!! I mean come on, we still haven't had sex, and I don't care if we ever do.. I worry more about this for him than for myself.. We even talked about this tonight. Because hes became a little jealous and I don't ever want him to think that sex is that important to me. I would never be unfaithful and its the furtherst thing from my mind.. I want him just how he is, if it means a life with no sex, than I'm willing to accept that. afterall its not his fault...All I want is for him to live!!! Thats it!! I don't care about anything else... and who ever wrote that is a very terribel person!!!! They are making fun of all of us.. and I wish Rick could find out who that is...Hey I didn't for a minute think about the comment you made, I knew why... You don't have any idea how much this ticks me off.. I mean I was being serious and wanting to know about other peoples problem with this, and if it ever came back, we have never talked to the doctors about this, I mean its an embarssing thing for a man, and I would never ever try to have him feel embarssed or feel anything in anyway.. I'd rather do without forever... I just want him alive... All I need is his love.. thats it!!! So don't worry about your comment. it just makes me mad that someone is on this site trying to screw up what we all take very serious....By the way my name is rinksgal, even though I didn't want to post my name I will... I don't want anyone else thinking it was me saying that. I was being serious... I miss him that way, but it doesn't matter, him living is so much more important than anything else..I was just curious to how chemo has affected others in a sexual way. and if it ever came back... but when everything is said in done.. All I need is his love and a few hugs here and there..... Thanks again for everyones honesty!!! Christy

[Guest]

Christy, I have still been stewing over this all day. I have to let it go and not go to bed with a resentment on my mind. I too wish rick had a way to tell where that reply came from. Have you alerted him to this ? Katie or him has probably seen it by now maybe. Whomever it was just made a real idiot out of themself. This is a very serious issue and its not talked about enough the way that it is. I again thank you for the original post even if some moron tried to poke some fun at your expense. Dont let it get ya down.

Sincerely

Greg

[luvmydog2]

I agree with Greg. Whoever wrote that is sick. Guest was only asking a simple question that was probably a good question for a lot of us here. I am wondering myself if it was actually one of us that wrote it. Perhaps someone just surfing the net. I don't know any of you personaly, but from the post that I have read (and I read all that have been posted since my last visit so as not to miss anything) I can not believe it was one of us. Oh well, it was posted so try to ignore it now. Wishing you all the best.

Bruce

[bart ziggie ( Greg )]

Something fishy is happening here. I just noticed i was logged on as a guest on my last reply. How did this happen ? I have never been logged on as a guest. In order for that to happen i would have to change something right ? What the hell is going on here ? When i got on this time it didnt ask me to log on or anything. Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Greg

[Guest]

I received an email from rick which says we don't have to log in. He also sent me one telling me there was a chat on wednesday. I have written reply's and nothing gets posted.

Jean

[Don Wood]

I am not the lung cancer patient here nor have I had chemo, just radiation. So I don't know if this info will really help. But I choose to share it. Because of my age, I have battled impotence off and on, but all I have been through with prostate cancer and heart surgery took its toll. Recently, I asked my urologist if there was any chance of counteracting the impotence. He recommended the new drug, Levitra, and gave my some samples to try. Well, it works for me! I can't believe it. I don't know if this is an option for any of the men who are going through lung cancer treatment, but it might be well to inquire. Cheers. Don