Suzie Q Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Keep emphasizing the oncologists belief that your DH has been doing well and that he does not see things the same way the naturopath sees them. Good for you for letting that doctor have it with both barrels! What utter nonsense to have to deal with baloney like this! Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle30 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 I'm so sorry you had to encounter someone so terrible. Push away the negativity and stay positive. I will keep you all in my prayers. -Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 No person, and I mean no person, has the right to put a time frame on anyone's life. If you had asked, well maybe an educated guess might be in order, but even then it should not be absolute. I am so glad you gave him a piece of your mind. I hope he takes it seriously. I wish you and your husband good vibes and good results from coming treatments. You oncologist sounds like a very warm person. Stick with him and ignore the ignoramous. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Flowergirlie, I hope you gave that doc a good blast in you email. Unfortunately, there are a handful of docs out there who, for some unknown reason, have proclaimed themselves "God". Keep listening to those positive comments from your onc. and never give up. Ellie (Sis) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Flowergirlie, I cannot believe what you experienced with that doctor. With the amount of damage a statement like that can do, it's almost criminal to me. Particularly when he's not even an oncologist. I'm so sorry for you both having to build yourselves back up after that. By your earlier post, I know you put a lot of hope into this option. Like others have said, there are so many people on this board who have defied their doctor's predictions. Both my husband's oncologist and radio-therapist made a point of telling us that statistics don't apply to us. Our oncologist told us a story of one of his lung cancer patients. He got to a point where there weren't a lot of medical options left. He pressed our doctor for a timeframe, because he owned a construction business and wanted to have everything in order. Our doctor reluctantly guessed 6 to 9 months. That was SEVEN YEARS ago, and the guy still comes in for his checks and, as you might guess, won't listen to any prognosis ever again. Doctors can be wrong and miracles can happen. Please stay strong and hold onto your hope -- both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonia Owen Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I am so sorry to hear what was said to you after your meeting to see this Doctor. I said a prayer for you today, and know God must have heard. I felt the answer in my heart although he spoke no words. I didn't ask for wealth or fame(Iknew you would'nt mind) I asked him to send treasures of a far more lasting kind. I asked that he'd be near you at the start of each new day, to grant you health and blessings and friends to share your way. I asked for happiness for you in all things great and small, but it was for his loving care I prayed the most of all. Take care bth Sonia UK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 ((Flowergirlie)) That doc is -as my 8th grade best friend used to say- a jerkface. That's all I have to say about that. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marym Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 What a shame that a doctor could be so lacking in compassion. I'm glad your oncologist is of a different mind. My initial diagnosis included the 6 months, maybe a year because you are young (for stage IV lung cancer). I have not spent a day in bed, live a perfectly normal life, and feel fine. I have had radiation, radio surgery and I've been on chemo since the start. (I have tolerated chemo quite easily). Anyway, I was diagnosed 21 months ago. And by the way I'm not planning to go anywhere at this time. Hang in there And keep up the fight! Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lc46 Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 If we would have listened to my Mom's Dr she should be dead by now. Please have your husband read my Mom's timeline. She also has ext sclc and is doing really well. Noone knows how long someone is going to live. Check out some other sclc profiles and read them to your husband. Cindy the RN is what got my Mom and myself through this for the past 4 months. My mom was diagnosed the end of Sept. Please email me if you need to talk Dar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janehill Posted January 22, 2007 Share Posted January 22, 2007 Flowergirlie, I'm sure that was awful for you and your husband to hear and I get the sense that your naturopath was not gentle, which is just unforgivable – particularly for someone who we expect to be better proponents alternative therapies and to see opportunity where the mainstream folks don’t. Having said that, I have personal experience with a situation that was equally heartbreaking and gave me a brand new perspective on how to see something seemingly difficult such as this. My aunt had Stage IV uterine cancer a few years ago. Her doctors told her she would have no more than 6-8 months with treatment and that she should get her affairs in order and enjoy her life and family. She sought several opinions with virtually the same responses. And then she went the naturopath route and he told her the doctors were wrong and crazy and so focused on a negative outcome that wasn’t helpful. Long story short, $10,000 dollars and two months later my aunt was incredibly ill and died. Before dying she expressed anger at the naturopath for giving her false hope and that she would have been better served to go to Italy with my uncle instead. After her death her oncologist told my uncle that he felt she had 3 months in her at best but wanted to give her a longer timeframe in the hope she could “rally” and live up to it. So her oncologist, in his own way, had actually extended her longevity in the hope it would give her some optimism. The naturopath drained her of very valuable financial resources and some closure she would have appreciated. There is a huge balancing act between trying to have hope and fight the good fight with optimism and tenacity while understanding the severity of illness and what’s important in our lives. I don’t have all of the answers but I do appreciate someone who says, Listen, I can’t take your money – it would be wrong; honesty over profit. Just my two cents. But I wish you both the very best - in health and time and happiness! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TamHol Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 It's funny how one doctor won't give you a straight answer at all ...... and then another comes along being so vulger about it. I guess you never know who or what these doctors you will end up with until you go threw the door. Too bad "beside manner" isn't a requirement when in the higher levels of the medical field. Devil's advicate now ..... you didn't want to tell your husband the "full" diagnosis at one point in time. Now he knows and someone else is the cause of that ... not you! That is a burden you don't have to carry, and thankfully your husband is making the best of his days! This turn around and new found joy is something he's been sorely missing out on for a bit now. May the small joys give great happiness and many more to come ........ Tammy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trishnmiller Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 How in the heck would that doctor know how long your husband has to live?? He is not even your hubby's regular oncologist..how arrogant. I had a similar experience with a neurologist who was new to my husband's case telling me that his seizures were new brain tumors and I must prepare myself for the inevitable. I was furious because we were only seeing her for a meds evaluation. I'm so sorry for what you went through when you were only seeking support. Please don't get too disheartened and remember that doctors are just people wearing lab coats, not seers, and certainly not gods. One day at a Time, Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Norfolk Posted January 29, 2007 Share Posted January 29, 2007 That is unbeleivable. There are times when a straight answer is what is needed, but there are ways of delivering the message. I am so sorry that you are going thru all of this and I hope that you can pick yourself up and keep the fight going. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 So glad you told off the naturopath! Flowergirlie, you and the family are a big part of motivation for your husband to fight this disease. My husband is my number one encourager and keeps me going on tough days. My prayers are with all of you. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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