Arrangements in Place

[justme2007]

I'm not sure why, but my mom didn't want a wake or funeral, just a private internment of her ashes for family at our crypt. That's happening Monday a.m. Yesterday we went to pick out the urn. It's a beatiful ceramic one with flowers on it.

They still had her body at the funeral home. For some reason I felt compelled to see her again, so they let me. My brother thought that was kind of weird of me, but I couldn't help it. She looks so very peaceful, still in her lavender nightgown. I couldn't not see her, knowing her body was still around.

We're having a gathering at my Dad's house Sunday afternoon for her many friends to come. We've gathered a bunch of pictures of her and will display them. When looking through her things, we found a bunch of love letters my dad had written her 42 years ago! That is so sweeet. He didn't know she had saved them.

My dad is having a real tough time. It tears my heart out. I hope he will work through some grief at the gathering and after the internment. He does not talk about her very easily. He is so used to taking "direction" from her that he is at such a loss when it comes to making simple decisions. He's been deferring to me, like he always did to her. It feels odd, kind of like I'm stepping in her shoes. He always referred to her as the "boss." He'll get his sea legs in time. I don't know how he's going to do alone though. It worries me greatly.

[Kathleen1]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Truly. You and your family are in my prayers. Take good care of yourself and your Dad.

[Nick C]

Prayers for you AND your dad.

I hope the next days hold a lot of peace and comfort for you.

[ztweb]

My heart just breaks for you and your family. No matter what, any person related to cancer is strong for taking its blows. May you know peace, strength, and comfort.

God bless,

Jen

[carolhg]

My prayers and condolences to you and your family.

Carol

[Maryanne]

Beth, sending prayers to you and your family for strength expecially for your dad. I feel so bad for you all.

I know the feeling of losing a mom and it is an unbelievable hurt.

Peace be with you as it is with her.

Maryanne

[justme2007]

I know this isn't the biggest deal in the world, but I see that I mispoke in my post. When you're talking about an urn, the placement of the urn in a crypt, etc. is called "inurnment." Apparently it's not pc to say "ashes" now either. It's now "cremains."

I didn't realize the Catholic Church (my family's religion) started to "permit" cremations in 1963. And then it wasn't until 1997 that the Vatican "allowed" cremains to be present at a funeral mass. The Church does not approve of the proverbial scattering of ashes at sea either. Anyway, just some trivia that probably not many are interested in!