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still cant sleep


crystleshoe

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It seems that i can only take naps and not really sleep all night even though i would love to sleep for days and days. Its been 10 days since mom passed away and it seems to hurt more now than last week. I have 3 grown kids of my own, been married for 23 years and i cant believe how much I miss my mother. I feel so lost, like a part of me died with her. I keep thinking of all the pain and suffering she had to endure and I am so sorry that her last days were so bad. She was a God loving, church going wonderful woman and this disease just sucked the life out of her. I dont know how to be motherless and after taking care of her and being there for her for 4 months i dont know where to direct my energy. Tommorrow will be my first day off after the funeral and i used to spend my days off with mom so maybe thats why im all weirded out tonight. I guess ill use my time to clean and do laundry and take down the xmas tree and do all the things ive been putting off so i could spend as much time with her as possible.

My hubby will like that as he's been so understanding and patient in helping me to be where i needed to be and do what i needed to do for mom.

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I'm so sorry you are struggling. It's hard enough to go through what you have gon through but to have lack of sleep only compounds how you are feeling. I have had problems with insomnia lately so I know where you are coming from. Have you talked to your doctor about some anti-depressants or sleeping pill to help get you through this rough time? I know some people try to avoid meds. I have also used Melatonin at night to help sleep and TylenolPM on some nights as well. Getting some much needed sleep will help I know.

Hang in there,

Karen

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I really relate to the feeling of needing to DO something. The crappy feelings could always be eased a little by doing something for your Mom. I get it. It's hard but it does ease up a little as time goes on.

A friend asked me how I was about 10 days after Mom passed. I said I was okay because I have to be. I don't have a choice. She told me to "walk with it". I think it's a good expression.

Hope you start getting a little more sleep and some brighter days. They will come. I promise.

Shauna

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