ztweb Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 OK all...I don't know what it is, but it just hit me yesterday that I need to be worried. My dad is actually doing great, and I have been saying my daily prayers, but it is the first time that I realized that I haven't been consumed with concern. I know it is crazy to think this, but I actually think that if I worry about it, then maybe it won't come back. Recurrence seems so prevalant, even around here on LCSC. I need to hear from you all who haven't recurred, or who have and it has been OK ... Thanks all...it is a pit-in-my-stomach kind of day. God bless, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 I think your making a lot of extra work for yourself with all that worry over nothing. Katie is right, enjoy the good times and enjoy TODAY! If things are good today, then it's a darn good day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Hi Jen, Sorry you are having "one of those days". I have had many myself, but do the best I can to remind myself That Alan woke up this morning, therefore, it is a blessed day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
P.S. I Love You Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Jen- My wife Bev is almost 2 years out of treatment for SCLC.She's been NED the entire time. That being said, it seems you always have to have one eye on the disease. I've got a feeling it's always going to be that way and we just have to adjust. Despite her success, I'm still worried sick about it every day. You just have to believe that your Dad is one of the lucky ones. I wish we all were. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bware21 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Jen, Try to remember Connie B's message: "Many MANY people do survive SCLC. I also know a lady who is a 16 year extensive SCLC survivor and she is STILL cancer free and doing very well. This is BEATABLE!" If your Dad's doing well, he's doing well. Don't bother to question it -- it's wasted energy. Enjoy him. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheri Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Jen, In my opinion, telling someone not to worry is like telling someone who is upset to "calm down". I know exactly how you feel and yes, you try not to worry but you still seek assurance from survivors. You'd like to keep one step ahead of this disease and learn all you can to keep your world from rocking. I think this is natural and your concerns are well justified. Most people do not live for today, as idealistic as it is. We're constantly thinking ahead to prepare for our future and our survival. I believe this is innate and imbedded in most of us. My Dad is doing well after a recurrence in August. His 15mm lung lesion/scar tissue is stable and we won't see the oncologist for another two months. Hang in there and what I found extremely helpful thoughout this chapter of my life is Lexapro and Xanax. I'm not nearly the mess I was six months ago. Hang in there and I'll offer positive prayers for your Dad when I pray for mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Gosh i wish i had the right word's to tell you but i more than likely do not.I honestly never had the pit in the stomach feeling with my wife but i've had it many other time's with some time's good result's and other time's bad. So try going for a walk or go shopping but most importantly remember to thank GOD for your father's good day's and pray for many more..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bware21 Posted January 24, 2007 Share Posted January 24, 2007 Jen, Any better now, or still the same? Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernrol Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Jen, A good friend of mine is going on 19 years of reoccurring cancer in various forms one of them lung. I don't think it was SCLC, but he has had his share. He is always in a great mood and is very active and productive. If you scroll to the last 6 paragraphs, it tells of his battle with cancer. The article is about 2 years old. He is still going strong today. www.floridabaptistwitness.com/4460.article Stay positive, Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Jen, Breathe. Read my profile. Breathe. Try not to worry, stress can lead to cancer (or so I've been told). It is what it is and nothing is ever guaranteed - first page of the Book of Life, second entry (first being "NO, it's NOT fair."). Hang in there, you'll do just fine - and so will he. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted January 25, 2007 Author Share Posted January 25, 2007 Wow. What an outpouring of kind words and support. Again, I revel in how wonderful you all are. Thank you so much. I thank God every day for the most amazing gift of life that I see in my parents, my children, and in my other friends and family. I too have found a wonderful friend in Lexapro granted dad's diagnosis followed 4 months of all-day-every-day colic with my two-month-preemie baby girl. In answer to your question, yes, I do feel better, but I can't just shake the worry. My mom always tells me I borrow trouble (thus my reason for saying that for some oddball reason, I feel like if I worry, maybe it won't be so bad - quite presumptious really, to think I can outfox God with my worries, huh?) Please, continue with the amazing stories...I know I am not alone in wanting to read them, hear them, relish in them, and pray for them. God bless you all. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bware21 Posted January 25, 2007 Share Posted January 25, 2007 Jen, While I have my trusty Oscar Wilde book out, and from Dorian Gray: "Something seemed to tell me that I was on the verge of a terrible crisis in my life. I had a strange feeling that Fate had in store for me exquisite joys and exquisite sorrows." And: "Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul." Your feelings are true. You own them so embrace them. Tomorrow is a different day and they may be lost to you forever. And just imagine the score if you didn't love your Dad -- you wouldn't be having the feelings you're having. They'd be something quite different and quite ugly. The price we pay for our feelings. You'll always worry somewhat, and that's okay. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 "ztweb" I know it is crazy to think this, but I actually think that if I worry about it, then maybe it won't come back. Jen, I soooo understand this kind of thinking. I'm there. My kids always told me not to worry so much about them when they were growing up. My patented response was and is, "It's my job, that's why I get paid the big bucks!" It's no different with my husband, although I have become far less stressed out as time has gone by. I know it's not the same cancer, but for what it is worth, Tony has never been cancer free since diagnosis 22 mos. ago. He's unlikely to ever be either, but if we keep it in check he'll do just fine. I'm sure the same will hold true with your Dad if there is a recurrance. Hope you are doing better! Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baillor Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 We never stop worrying, Jen. That's how we know our parents Or in my case siblings raised us right You just keep on loving and caring for yourself TOO!Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twodogs Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hi Jen, It's been a while since I posted to you and your dad. For whatever it's worth, I know that pit-in-the-gut feeling that comes with the worry. Mine, like yours, isn't for myself, it's for my daughter. She was diagnosed with breast cancer over a year ago and we've been very involved and concerned with her treatment since then. In my own case things are going greater than I have the right to expect. I'm still here and I'll be 67 next month. Not long ago reaching 64 seemed out of reach. I still drive too fast and drink a little on occasion even though I've slowed down about 90% from my old pace. I've taken on the job as chairman of our local streets and roads committee, do radio spots twice a week and write an occasional column for our local newspaper. I still have all the typical symptoms like SOB, weird pains and fatigue. BTDT on being bald, periodic total memory and brain function loss and vertigo. But at this point my biggest concerns are still for my daughter. Some of us are born worriers. We can't help it. As many others here have said, all we know we have is the moment. Please make the best of it. Best wishes and prayers to both of you. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 John, You are so kind. I cannot tell you how much your post means to me. It is good to see you online. It has been a while! What is BTDT? I am sure it is lingo I should be aware of...but I am coming up blank! Blessings, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twodogs Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Jen, It's kind of flippant, "Been There, Done That". Probably not appropriate for a geezer pushing 70. I meant to add, how cold is it over there? We've been doing like minus 10 to minus 15 over here. That's overnight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Jen, Kim wrote it seems you always have to have one eye on the disease. I've got a feeling it's always going to be that way and we just have to adjust. so just one eye on the sickness, the other one to see the beauty of life every day. jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracyD Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hi Jen, don't worry so much about NOT worrying. Things are GOOD right now, don't forget that. Take every day for what it is, and if it's a good day with no worries, run with it! Worrying will not keep the cancer away, but it will put a damper on the good times you should be having. I'm so glad to hear that not worrying is your biggest worry right now. Have a Great Day! Tracy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Tracy, What a great point...when "not worrying" is my biggest worry, that means things are great! It reminds me of the feeling you have when you wake up and realize you fell asleep...like "Oh no..." This last weekend we got together at a family wedding. Dad was great. He went in the hot tub and the pool with the kids. It was so fun. I can't help but say though, as I take pictures of them together I find myself always thinking..."I need to take these pictures" for reasons you all can understand...that in itself makes me feel sick to my stomach. John, we have been about 0 or so...the other day it was -7 with windchill. I live in Brookings which is known for having a unique location due to the rivers, the interstate, and the belt of cold air that goes through SD, so we are colder than normal with more wind than the rest of us. I'll be honest...I just like to stay inside! Blessings All, Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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