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Six months today


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I can't believe it's been six months since my mom left this world. I went to the cemetery and just stared at her grave in disbelief yet again. I told her how my son (and her favorite boy in the whole world - God, how they loved each other, they were soulmates)..how he had his first loose tooth and how huge he was getting. And how my baby boy Conor has started smiling and cooing every time I look at him, and how if she were here she wouldn't be able to resist just kissing and nuzzling his neck and chubby legs. I told her about my 3-year-old daughter looking up in the sky every day and talking about her ("It's snowin'! Nana has a giant snowglobe an' she's sprinklin' snow on us from heaven!")

I thought of how in her last days, so weak and with only a little fuzz on her head from the chemo(she was so tiny, only 4' 11") - how my sister Deb helped her out of bed to sit in the chair next to her hospital bed - my mom could barely open her eyes at that point. My sister always joked when she helped her out of bed "Are you ready to dance with me, Mom?" and that particular time my mom mumbled "A last dance"..and then she just leaned into my sister like a little child and put her head on Deb's shoulder, eyes shut tight. I'd NEVER seen my strong and vibrant mom in such a vulnerable and sad moment...it will stay with me forever.

My dad said it seems like yesterday she died, and to me it feels like a lifetime. I go into my closet and get out the Estee Lauder powder she's worn since I was a little girl - one whiff of that and she seems near to me.

I'm so sad we all have to be on this board. I'm so sad that I don't have a mom anymore to talk to and to love and to share my children with.

Well, the baby is crying and motherhood calls. I guess that's what it's all about...I only hope I can be half as good a mother as she was...

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one of the things i heard some where is, " THe Body Dies, but the spirit lives on within each of us eternally" Prayers For Peace and tranquility.

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What a beautiful post. I am sure your mom will be with you always, guiding you as you raise those beautiful children.

I love that Nana has a giant snowglobe, What a sweet and precious thought. Thank you for sharing that with all of us.

Sending you hugs and prayers for comfort and strength tonight.


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Oh Michele, your mention of Estee Lauder brought tears to my eyes :cry: . My dad always bought Mother Estee Lauder everything. When I cleaned out her things I brought home with me one outfit of hers with that scent on it. I would open the closet in the spare bedroom and just breathe in 'her' scent from time to time. How sad the day I realized that it had hung there too long for that sweet aroma to remain. Thanks for allowing me that memory again. May your journey without your mom become one of being the woman and mother of whom your own dear mother would be proud. And thank you for allowing me the wonderful memory of my own.


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