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Posted

My head knows that we have been very lucky so far with Mom...coming up on 24 relatively healthy months.

My heart is dull because we have seen progression lately, and have to be more aggressive.

My head is relieved that Mom still wants to fight..."the alternative is to do nothing."

My heart is afraid that the new chemo, which we avoided a year ago because of her very fragile kidneys, will be too much for her.

My head knows that this is what cancer fighters do--battle the beast with every ounce of strength they have.

My heart pains when I see Mom struggle.

So many different fronts on this battle...

Kelly

Posted

(((((Kelly)))))) 24 months is a long time to fight. And while that is a huge blessing, it's also very wearisome for you all. It's so hard to see people we love struggling so hard.... this disease is so evil.

Praying so hard for all of you. Tell your Mama that everytime I see a "twinkie" (you know--from the expiration date comment, since they enver expire), I smile and think of her.

Posted

You are in my prayers, but you must allow your Mom to fight her battle until she is ready not to. That is what is keeping her going, I know when my mom was with hospice they told us it was very important to let them do what they wanted to and have their independence. Your in my thoughts....

Posted

Kelly,

Something my therapist said (since mom passed I've been going): All the knowlege in the world often can't change the course of future events.

The past, and your concerns, and what you've seen is not going to change what tomorrow will bring.

Your Mom is still in the fight...I wouldn't bet against her even if you gave me odds. She's a winner.

Posted

Kelly, roller coaster, words heard here so often. Head and heart, sad and glad, ups and downs. Your Mother is a fighter and I hope and pray for yet another 24 months for you both.

Posted

I often have said this is an 'evil' disease. May mom fight on for a long time and remain able to do so. I am sorry your family must struggle with this at this time. Prayers for all of you are being offered up!

Kasey

Posted

((Kelly)) from one Okie to another you know she will have lots and lots of fight in her. You, your mom, and your family will be at the top of my prayer list tonight. She is lucky to have you to care for her and be there to help her.

Posted

Head vs. heart-those have both been present in every decision of my life. With this disease, I gotta say go with your heart-love her and have hope (my mom did even after her Dr. told her it was time for hospice).

I was always worried that she wasn't being realistic and dealing with death the way she should. Guess what I learned? That was OK! I was and am so very thankful that when my mom went into her last coma, she had just told me in the shower two days before that she did not believe she was going to die. Did it matter that she never succumbed to the idea that she was going to die? Nope, not in the least, that's what makes her such an inspiration and hero in my eyes.

Kel, I am speaking from my experience, but I really believe it to be so true. Live, love and keep hope.

I'll be thinking of you. I send you big hugs and lots of luv!

Posted

((Kelly)))

I know a little of what you are going through. Alan

just past his 2 yr DX date (1/10/05) and is in the

battle again. It hurt my heart to see him so down

when he found out his cancer was back and then we had

to make the decsion of chemo (which almost killed him)

or radiation which would kill the tumor locally, but

as this new tumor was a lymph node outside his chest

there is always the chance some of the cancer cells

are "hiding" out. We went with radiation.

We descided to go with what will work NOW and do our

very best not to worry about what "could" happen in

the future. It is a crappy way to live, but we do

our very best to live just today and let tomorrow come to us.

Many continued prayers for you and your Mom, as she

continues to fight the beast.

Posted

So beautifully said...a mother is so lucky to have a daughter who is so selfless in caretaking in the times that we all hope would not ever come to our children. I am pulling for your mom too!

Flowergirlie

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