ErinC1973 Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 My mom will be gone one year next Thursday, February 8th. A friend of mine said to me, "Erin, just get through this first year and then there will be no more 'firsts.'" She is so prolific and kindhearted, but how do I explain that it is eating me alive with each passing day that I have not seen my mom? I sat literally frozen on New Year's Eve at 11pm, wanting to push back the clock so badly, because I didn't WANT to see a new year. I still had my mom in 2006. One year ago today, February 3rd, 2006, I still had my mom. A year ago I could still talk to her. Next Tuesday will mark one year since I saw her face, since I bent over and kissed her cheek...and it was warm. Val, this is a portion of a post from you last summer: Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:54 pm Post subject: Time "I know the saying, "Time heals wounds." And I know that there is some truth to it. But what I have experienced lately, is that the farther I get from Mom's death, I hurt simply for the time that she hasn't been in my life. It is the time itself that inflicts the pain... Just feeling so far away. In two weeks, it will be 11 months. I look at that number and gasp, because it STILL doesn't feel real sometimes. And when it does feel real, it STILL feels like it just happened. I know I say a lot of the same things when I post here, but they are the same things that trip me up. My husband's father has been gone for seven years. When I think about the idea of being without my Mom for seven years... Well I just can't even imagine it. How could that even be possible? But my husband is proof that one day it will be. It makes me feel a little better to see what a vibrant part of his life, his Dad still is... But I still can't imagine that time. I don't want to get that far away. It feels like each day that passes I am that much further away from her, and I hate that the rest of my life when I wake up in the morning, it will be one day more. So... time seems like an enemy, and not a healer. It seems like a mechanism that brings me farther away from my Mom." Missing you so much tonight, Mom... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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