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Expressions For a Woman's High Stress Days

You! Off my planet!!

Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

And your crybaby whiny-a@@ed opinion would be...?

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

You say I'm a b!tch like it's a bad thing.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic & disorder - my work here is done.

Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the Earth.

Earth is full. Go home.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

So many men, so few who can afford me.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.

At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all... I just can't remember it all.

My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.

Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?

Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

I hate everybody...and you're next.

And your point is...?

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.

Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

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