Confession: Greeting Cards Make me Cry

[Treebywater]

It never fails. I march out to the mailbox near a holiday like Valentine's Day, or on my birthday, or Carolyn's, or whatever... and I get a greeting card. From Dad, or from Andy's folks, or one of the great-grandparents, or a friend ("Aunt Kasey" for one ). I get very excited, because I love mail, and I love cards, and it makes me feel so special. and I just especially love that Carolyn receives all this love from all these special people.

And then I open the cards, and I cry. Every. Single. Time.

Today, we got cards from Andy's grandmother in Kansas. She is one of my very favorite people in the world, and in these cards she enclosed a stick of gum for each of us. I can only guess that this is a tradition... I'm trying to recall if it's happened before.

So that gets me thinking about my Grandma Wherry and how she never missed sending a card to me--not even for the very minorest of minor holidays, and she always tucked something fun in--a coupon for a candy bar, or stickers, or a bookmark.

And that gets me thinking about Mom, and about how I wonder what cards she would have sent Carolyn. The funny thing is--I don't even know that she would have sent cards. I am a terrible card-sender. I am seriously delinquent, or at least several weeks/months late for every single occasion. I freely admit this, and I wonder if I get that from her.

But my 'Gramma Cards' were such a special part of my life, that every time I open any card I ache for Mom's cards not being a special part of Carolyn's life. And then I ache about my kids not knowing her. And then I ache about missing her.

And Dad's cards are even worse now, because now there is this new name on them where 'Mom' used to be. And you can bet that undos me every time.

They're cards--silly everyday little things, but I have yet to receive one and not cry since Mom died. Isn't that bizarre?

So that is my Greeting Card confession.

[Kasey]

.............someday, Val, you won't cry, I promise. Won't be the same........but you won't cry.

Love,

Kasey

[Ann]

(((((((Val))))))))

Please know that you aren't the only one that has a tough time with cards. Dennis used to spend such a long time, looking at all of the cards, until he found just the right one. I think that's partially because he wanted the card to say just what he was thinking so he wouldn't have to write a lot inside.

Now, everytime I get a card, I think of Dennis and wonder how much time and effort the sender of the card put into the selection.

As Kasey said, there will be a time when things are better....for all of us.

[teresag]

Nothing strange about that, Val. Your Mom was such a huge part of you (and still is) that many, many things bring her to mind. We never fill in the void left by the loss of a parent - we only get used to it.

Truth is, many things (like greeting cards, hearing the national anthem) make me cry. Some remind me of my very patriotic father, others simply of the loving people I am fortunate to have in my life.

I doubt it will ever change for me - I've been this way too long. But the sharp pain of losing your Mom will turn dull over time, and you will cry less often. It will be easier to remember her and laugh.

And you will talk to her, ask her advice, say good-night, etc. without feeling sad eventually.

God bless you, Val.

[MomsGirl]

I totally get it, Val.

And like you said, I cry over the cards we DON'T get anymore. Today was rough, my mom always sent cards to my kids with little stickers, and when we'd see her she always had little Valentine gifts (even for me - still!) My birthday was so hard, getting a card from only my dad. He's been really good at remembering cards, bless his heart, but the thought and love my mom put into every little holiday or occassion...all the little cards and gifts and expressions of affection...oh, how I miss that...

Happy V. Day and and hugs.