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Catchy Comebacks.....


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If you're stressed, here are some catchy comments you can use to help articulate your mood to others...(you may have seen some of these before).

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.

3. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?

4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

5. Do I look like a people person?

6. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

8. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

9. You! Off my planet!

10. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

11. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

12. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

13. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

14. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

15. And your cry baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

16. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

17. See no evil, hear no evil and date no evil.

18. Allow me to introduce my selves.

19. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

20. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."

21. Better living through denial.

22. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

23. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

24. Do they ever shut up on your planet?

25. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

26. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.

27. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

31. Back off! You're standing in my aura.

32. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

33. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!

34. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

35. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

36. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.

37. You say I'm a witch like it's a bad thing.

38. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

39. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

40. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

41. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress."

42. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

43. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

44. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

45. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

46. Earth is full. Go home.

47. Is it time for your medication or mine?

48. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

49. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?

50. I plead contemporary insanity.

51. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.

52. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

53. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

54. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

55. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

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