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new song "Deathbed" by Relient K about LC


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I thought this song might touch some other folks who have had a loved one die from lung cancer. This has just blown me away, in a good way, it is just so amazing to me. My husband Ben died 11/5/06 from lung cancer that had metas to meningial lining of the brain (leptomeningeal carcinomatous). Ben had only been diagnosed with lung cancer 5 weeks earlier and the LC was diagnosed a week before he died. He was 44.

My son James' favorite band is RelientK, they are a punk rock, mainstream Christian band. He has been a HUGE fan for years (James is 17 about to turn 18 ). Relient K released a new CD yesterday, (I had to go out and buy it first thing yesterday morning ) and this song Deathbed is on it. The song is quite a departure from their usual punk rock tunes, it is for one thing extremely long, 11 minutes, and it is "lyrical ballad" rather melancholy and definately a very different kind of tune for them, not at all punk rock. This is just amazing to me that this band would release this album with this song on it just 4 months and one day since Ben died.

Because it is all about a man dying from lung cancer, a smoker for 30 years, an alcoholic who came to know Jesus. That all describes my husband.

Here are the words:

I can smell the death on the sheets

Covering me

I can't believe this is the end

But this is my deathbed

I lie here alone

If I close my eyes tonight

I know I'll be home

The year is 1941

I was eight years old and far, far too young

To know that the stories of battles and glory

Was a tale a kind mother made up for a son

You see, Dad was a traveling preacher

Teaching the words of the teacher

Mother had sworn he went off to the war

And died there with honor, somewhere on a beach there

But he left once to never return

Which taught me that I should unlearn

Whatever I thought a father should be

I abandoned that thought like he abandoned me

By '47, I was fourteen

I'd acquired a taste for liquor and nicotine

I smoked until I threw up, yet I still lit 'em up

For thirty more years, like a machine

So right there you have it

That one filthy habit

Is what got me where I am today

I can smell the death on the sheets

Covering me

I can't believe this is the end

I can hear the sad memories

Still haunting me

So many things I'd do again

But this is my deathbed

I lie here alone

If I close my eyes tonight

I know I'll be home

Got married on my twenty-first

Eight months before my wife would give birth

It's easier to be sure you love someone

When a father inquires with the barrel of a gun

The union was far from harmonious

No two people could've been more alone than us

The years would go by and she'd love someone else

And I'd realized I hadn't been loved yet myself

From there it's your typical spiel

Yeah, if life was a highway, I was drunk at the wheel

I was helpin' the loose ends all fall apart

Yeah, I swear I was destined to fail, and fail from the start

I bowled about six times a week

A bottle of Beam kept the memories from me

Our marriage had taken a 7?10 split

And along with my pride, the ex-wife took the kids

I can smell the death on the sheets

Covering me

I can't believe this is the end

I can hear those sad memories

Still haunting me

So many things I'd do again

But this is my deathbed

I lie here alone

If I close my eyes tonight

I know I'll be home

I was so scared of Jesus but he sought me out

Like the cancer in my lungs it's killing me now

And I've given up hope on the days I have left

But I cling to the hope of my life in the next

Then Jesus showed up, said, "Before we go

I thought that we might reminisce

See, one night in your life, when you turned out the lights

You asked for and prayed for my forgiveness

"You cried wolf; the tears they soaked your fur

The blood dripped from your fangs

You said, 'What have I done?'

You loved that lamb with every sinful bone

And there you wept alone

Your heart was so contrite

"You said, 'Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes

Sanctify this withered heart of mine

Stay with me until my life is through

And on that day, please take me home with you' "

I can smell the death on the sheets

Covering me

I can't believe this is the end

I can hear you whisper to me

"It's time to leave

You'll never be lonely again"

But this was my deathbed

I died there alone

When I closed my eyes tonight

You carried me home

I am the way

Follow me and take my hand

And I am the truth

Embrace me and you'll understand

And I am the light?

And for me you'll live again

For I am love

I am love

I am love

If you read all that I'll tell you that there are some striking similarities to Ben's life. Ben died of lung cancer. He had smoke cigarettes since he was 15, and he died one month short of his 45th birthday, that would be 30 years. Ben was a recovering alcoholic, 12 years sober when he died. Ben loved the Lord and knew Jesus was waiting to take him to his new home when he was on his deathbed. I am just crying over this. I think James & I both feel this song is a gift to us.

James is going to the Relient K concert at the Electric Factory in Philadelphia this Saturday, March 10. I was thinking it would so great for James to be able to meet the band backstage or something and tell them how much this song has meant to him, how it has such a special meaning to him about his fathers death. I have no idea how to make that happen. If anyone here has any ideas or knows anyone that might be able to help I'd appreciate the input.




Ben my husband for 22 years & my best friend I will always love & miss you

12/14/61 - 11/5/06

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Mary, I don't know how you could get him backstage to meet them, but there has to be a way. I think the Lord did as you said, he put this song before you to help you with your grief. When my mom passed MercyME had just come out with another CD and I bought it. The first song I saw and listened to was Homesick. The first time I heard it I cried like a baby. It's lyrics were every single feeling I was having over my mom's death and it helped me to let the pain out, but it also reminded me that there really are no good byes; we'll all be together again when it's our turn to go home. I still cry when I here that song, but it also makes me feel closer to her and to the Lord.

God Bless you Mary, and your son. I hope that you find the comfort in your song that I did in mine.


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Just a thought but maybe a local radio station could help you out? Email them a copy of your post here and explain to them why this is so important. Many times they have concert tickets and passes to use in promotional spots.

It might even bring some new awareness to the whole lung cancer issue, too.

Hope this helps, and let us know~

My best to you and your son,


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Hi everyone,

I just thought I'd give you an update after the concert. James did not get to meet the band or anything, but he had a great time at the concert, he loved it as usual. I did end up getting in contact with a friend who is a DJ and he contacted RK's manager but it was apparently not meant to be since some of the band guys were sick so they weren't up to doing extra stuff that night I guess.

Anyway thanks for your support. Kim I will have to get that Mercy Me CD, it sounds like it was really meaningful to you. God certainly has a way of reaching us through music.


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