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Settling in- (off topic)


Debi

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Okay, this isn't cancer related but I guess somehow it is. I needed to post because I am so stressed and really have nowhere else to go with all this, I need to vent somewhere..

So I make the 1000 plus journey to Ohio with my son and the cats in the truck. All told, things went okay other than the normal driving 1000 miles stuff- finding a hotel for the night, stopping and eating and OH, my brand new truck tire losing air :evil: !!! I had to drive 700 plus miles the first day so that I could get back here by late afternoon Wednesday because there were people from the Corporate office visiting that I had to meet up with (nobody comes for 4 months but they choose the week I'm moving my stuff). So I got to Ohio, dropped son and cats off, a coworker sat with my son and I raced to the office for an evening of meetings. :?

Woke up the middle of the night Thursday with chest pains, sat here waiting for them to go away, they got worse so had to wake Eric up at 2 in the morning to go to the Emergency room because its just him and I and I kept thinking what if it was a heart attack? I had to stop at a convenience store because I didn't even know where the nearest hospital was. Long story short, they admitted me because something was a little off on the EKG, and I ended up spending all day Friday, Friday evening in the hospital with my son. :shock: They made a chair into a bed for him and brought him trays of food when they brought mine. So he missed his first day of school, I couldn't even call work and ask someone to take him because he didn't have any sleep, the poor kid was awake with me half the night.

So long story short, the cardiologist ran some tests but put off others so that I can do as an outpatient due to my circumstances of having no one for Eric. (There are people at my job who offered to keep him but they all my direct reports except for one and it really wouldn't be appropriate).

Last week was calm at home anyway, except the cat was sick and had to bring her to the vet. Other than that, Eric likes school, likes his after school program etc. Fast forward to Saturday morning - he wakes up with a cough and bad sore throat. Had to take him to Urgent Care, he has some viral thing - it has to run its course. Okay, I don't have TIME for it to run its course, I have to be in work Monday and there is NO one to watch him when he's sick. He can't be sick.

Anyway, I am just frustrated. I have a full plate at work, and alot of responsibility at home. I've been here by myself and have only had to worry about work, which is a handful. Now I have Eric, and I'm really wondering if I can even do this. Instead of staying at work till 8 or 9 pm, I need to leave by 5:45 to get him from the after school program and finish my work at home. How can I effectively manage both? Do you know, when I went to NY to the Leadership conference for my job, out of 30 people attending from my division, only 3 of them had children (and only one of those was a woman)!

Oh, on the bright side, I had an xray and CT scan at the hospital (and the machines looked modern- woo hoo), and all was clear. So that's always good news. And I bought an LCD TV yesterday (I won't even speak of how long it took to drag it into the apartment and assemble it with a butter knife)- these corporate people had supplied me with a little bitty TV - I couldn't take it anymore, Im going blind. (Sell me a truck and I can bring anything home :roll: )

I know the important thing is that I am still here to complain about all this stuff. I know I am lucky. But I also have to pay the bills, and to pay them at this point means that I have to dedicate alot of my time to my job. I need to find a balance, and right now, after not needing to have one for 4 months, it just seems impossible. I know it will get better - I am just feeling overwhelmed. Plus I wake up every hour because I am still getting used to the apartment and am convinced the noise I heard is someone breaking in the patio doors to murder me. (Guess it beats the cancer boogeyman that used to wake me up)

Oh well, thanks for listening. I'm still lucky. :)

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Oh Debi I'm sorry that things are so overwhelming right now, we both know they'll get better but I can imagine how frustrating it is trying to juggle everything.

Is there anyone at work who could help you find a back-up babysitter just for when Eric is sick? Maybe someone's Mom or Granny or maybe the after school program could point you in the right direction.

On the brighter side I'm so glad that the tests and scans came back okay, was the chest pain due to all the stress of moving and working?

Can't offer any solutions really Debi, just know that I am thinking of you and hoping that Eric stays well and you both enjoy that new TV!

Take care

Geri

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Hi Debi,

Sorry to hear things are kind of hectic for you right now. You've really gone thru some stress recently, though, with the new job and just moving and all that. That stuff is all tougher than we think it's going to be.

And then sleeping in a new place on top of it....geez, I can't stand to get a new pillow cuz I'm awake for a week getting used to it.

:roll:

I don't have any solutions for you except for the old 'one foot in front of the other' saying, but I guess it rings true.

I hope Eric feels better and things settle down soon.

Cindy

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What's that saying........when it rains ~ it pours??? Well, it's teeming for you right now, Debi. Hopefully all this 'stuff' will get out of the way right off the bat and there will be smooth sailing from then on.

Are you in an apartment building? If so, perhaps there is someone close by who can offer emergency assistance....ya think? Ot at least to offer some constructive advice to a newcomer.

We all know you are a capable woman, Debi, and you know it too. Solutions will be found.....just hopefully sooner than later. And BTW.....you can come here and vent about whatever you da#n well please. Can't wait to hear how things pan out for you.

Kasey

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I remember when we moved to London England in late 1998. I was a new mom and we were moving to a new country with a 1 year old and I didn't know a soul.

Rick worked mad hours. This was the Y2K conversion and he was in charge of all of Europe so he was travelling 3 weeks out of 4. It was just me, navigating without any help.

I remember how hard it was and I can say I literally went out of my mind with work, a child who was sick ALL the time those first 6 months, and school. I was crazy.

When I read your post, my heart was aching for you. I can still remember how alone I felt.

All I can say is that it does get better. But until then, you need to vent, reach out to groups or new neighbors and to your son's new school. People will help if you ask, and as incredible as I think you are- you can't go thru this alone.

I'm so sorry things are so stressed and heavy for you right now.

I'm glad that your scans were ok! One less thing for you to think about right now......

I am just sending lots of positive thoughts to you and I hope things ease up some soon.

You've been thru a whole lot in such a short time.

Keep posting.

(((debi)))

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You have such a full plate my friend! Most people could not do what you are doing and I have so much respect and admiration for you. You are a role model.

Hopefully in time things will settle down and you will find that balance. I am sure there will be many moments of madness while you try to find.

I am so thrilled about the scans though, that is wonderful news.

Hang in there, we are all here for you. And your post is not really off topic at all. It is the story of a true SURVIVOR!

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Hi Debi; I am glad your cardiac stuff turned out ok. I hate moving and it has got to be the stress of your move, juggling job responsibilities and taking care of Eric that whacked you. I am sure that things will smooth out for you as you get settled in. Pet your cat. Meow.

Don M

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I remember all to well what it's like to be a single mom and working full time! Not FUN at times! I wish I had some magical words to make you feel better, but I don't! It's hard to have the sky fall all at once. I remember feeling like chicken little, as I'm sure you feel too.

Vent, Vent, And VENT some more. I'm very glad to hear your CT was clear, that really is great news. I hope all your other tests come back a-okay too!

I'm going to hope you don't have heart problems, maybe you had a panic attack. I know they can act just like a heart attack, but, I don't know if that would show something on an EKG or not. I'm thinking NOT! :roll: Anyway I'm just going to hope for things to be okay and all your tests come back clean and clear.

As Kasey said, "When it rains it pours"! It SUCKS!

I hope all settles down for you real soon.

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