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am i alone with this dislike of a phrase


crystleshoe

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I hate it when someone tells me they are sorry for "the loss of your mom". It seems to me that I didn't "lose" her. I know right where I left her and I know where she is now. I do however feel like she was stolen from me. I " lose" my keys and sometimes my mind but I would never ever lose a person who was so important to me. I guess it would be weird if people said " I am sorry for the theft of your mom"

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You're still raw and anything reminding you of your mother no longer living on this planet with you is going to be painful.

Try to view it from another angle, at least these people KNOW what is going on with your life, are sorry to see you hurting, and are speaking to you about it. If they weren't, you'd wonder if anyone even cared that this wonderful being that inhabited your life is longer shining a light from the same plane.

I wish you peace and comfort,

Becky

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I know that there have been long discussions on this board about what to say to a family member when someone dies. Most of us are so tired of hearing things like..."they're so much better off" and "I know just how you feel" and "everything happens for a reason." So, I feel it is appropriate to simply say that "I'm so sorry for your loss." My answer is sincere and to the point and it doesn't include all of these absolutely senseless sayings that people say when they don't know what else to say. Yes, you have suffered a "loss" of physical companionship but you will never "lose" the love and memories of your mother.

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I can't help but love your rationale, you're right!...

"I'm sorry for the theft of your mom"....

for me it's,

"I'm sorry for the theft of your parents"

There just isn't the "right" thing to say, is there? I like it when people simply say, "It's hard". I reply, "Yes it is" and then they say, "I will be here for you."

It's that simple, yet it means so much.

Wishing you some comfort in your memories and some peace....

(((HUGS)))

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I think "loss" is a lot less offensive than other things that are thoughtlessly said. Lucie and I got to where we did not take offense at people's remarks, but were grateful they cared enough to let us know they were with us. As Becky said, right now you are reeling from the death and it is an emotional time for you. Don

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I can totally understand your point. And so many things that people say well-meaningly really hit me in a raw way too.

But I have to admit that even though I think it is the more accurate term and I think that words like 'left us' and 'lost' are misnomers..... I still usually say, "My Mom left" or "I lost my Mom." For whatever reason my brain is hung up on saying the 'd' word.

It is certainly more of a theft than a losing though, you're right.

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I really like the way you put it. It is definitely a theft!!!! LC (among other things) has "stolen" so many of our precious loved ones.

But yes, "I'm sorry for the theft of your mom" would sound a little funny to people who may not be able to identify with the sense of being cheated that comes with losing someone way too soon.

Peace and blessings to you.

Laura

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I also can never say that my mom d***. If I have to tell someone that doesnt know I will say that mom was taken from us by lung cancer or that she passed on. Thanks for keeping me sane through all this . Maybe ill try saying that she was stolen and see what response I get.

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Loss and lost kind of works for me.

At this point (5 months later) some one says "loss", I'm just happy when they acknowlege that it happened, as most people don't...it's ancient history to everyone else.

For me, it's still a current event.

And for me when talking about mom...I'll refer to when mom "left".

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It is funny how the words strike us... even when I talk about my dad who died in a motorcycle accident that was at someone elses neglaegence I make it a point to say he was killed...

My dad was actually the one who pointed out to me 'lost' and that he knew exactly where his dad was when someone uttered those condolences.

It was funny to me then, but now I know what you mean. People mean well.

Hugs and Prayers for you!

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