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I got through my friends funeral


Maryanne

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I somehow got through MaryEllen's funeral. I had mentioned she is my friend of 40 years who had died a courageous battle for 2 1/2 years of brain cancer and never, never complained once after 4 operations and numerous chemo and radiation. She was my hero.

There were so many people at the viewing that they were lined up outside the funeral polar all the way around the building.

The next day was the sevices. I was kinda upset as the priest that was suppose to reside couldn't and they had another who seemed like this was new to him. He was hindu and I could not understand a word he said. Sorry nothing against the Hindus...

What upset me was she was such a wonderful, incredibly brave women who touched so many lives and you could see that by all the people turned out for her.

So this is what upsets me. They had no eulogy for her. When I asked her son after the funeral he said the funeral seem to recommend against it... Are you ready, this is the reason... because they are too sad. COULD YOU BELIEVE THIS, this is a funeral you are suppose to be sad!! Also a eurlogy is about the good things people remember. I was livid. I could just picture her waiting for someone to say something about her. You only have one chance to do this. As far as Iam concerned, they blew that hig time.

I guess the funeral home had another funeral scheduled and didn't want to take up too much time.. phooey on them!!

Anyway she is buried and she is gone. I will never see her or hear her beautiful voice again. Big void in my life without her.

Still steaming about the eurolgy.... :cry:

Am I wrong about this...

Maryanne

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If her family truly did not want a eulogy, well that is one thing. But the funeral home not allowing it: that is WRONG! I agree w/ you; a eulogy is for sharing loving memories of the person you all will miss. Everyone at a funeral wants to remember their loved one - and in my experience they enjoy hearing others' stories about the person.

Maybe a tastefully written, but very clear, letter to the funeral home about their advising against a eulogy is in order.

Sorry for your loss, Teresa

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((Maryanne)),

Sorry about the send-off for your friend. Funeral homes are really getting pretty quick with the visits and services these days and I hate it! (Especially in Florida.)

We went to a funeral for a friend (second one in 5 1/2 mos) last week. I too was really honked off. It was done in the funeral home, which was okay, but it was Saturday and the Pastor's day off. A trained person that I consider a "lay person" in our church performed the service and none of us are fond of this particular wanna-be Pastor. On top of that, the REAL Pastor attended and sat in front of me (with cell phone beeping right before the service!) Why the heck couldn't he have actually DONE the service?? I came home fuming and emailed my brother, who is a Pastor also, to vent about this. I knew he would soothe my ruffled feathers.

It's bad enough to have this hole in your heart with the death of a friend, but no eulogy? Pretty bad. At least one of our friends read one of the lessons, so that was the best part of the service for us.

Sorry again -- it leaves a bad taste and people deserve better, especially dear friends.

Welthy

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The funeral home people sound cold and calloused. Would her family mind if you had a small memorial service in your home, church or community center so friends and family could give eulogies? My uncle had a memorial service for his wife about a month after her funeral. It was a healing experience for all who went. The funeral was more of a greiving time while,the memorial service emphasized the joy and service in her life. You sound like a lovely and wonderful friend. praying for you. pammie

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That is sad that her service wasn't personalized. The only good thing about that is- most likely the person officiating would have botched it. I remember at my Aunt's funeral my cousin spoke and the things he said...my mom still fumes over it years later. Sorry it wasn't the tribute you expected Maryanne.

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I think you have a right to be upset.. We were not sure if we could handle eulogies for my mom so my daughter and neices read her favorite bible verse and then the pastor asked a few of our church members and friends to share some thoughts and memories about my mom and it was nice to hear how loved she was.

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I would say that is a funeral home out for the cheque and not the quality of the service provided.

Unfortunately this can be common and a "new trend" for the funeral services to be more UPBEAT ... blah blah blah. If that's what you wanted and requested then it's fine ..... if it's not .... take your "green dollars" else where, I say!

Arrange something yourself ... there is nothing wrong with that.

My husband life long friend passed away from a heart attack at age 39 just after new years. His family didn't plan the memorial or even bring up the idea of one ....... but his friends did and it was a full house!

You'll find a way to memorialize or say your good byes that suit you ...... alone or with others is the only question really.

Tammy

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