alexan Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I don't know if this happened to some of you, but really happens to me. Every time that I have a conversation & I said that I have lung cancer, they change the expression of their face. Maby if I said breast could be different. We can survive,we fight for it and even if we have the death sentence why people have to remind you? Thanks to listen to me, but I had a party last nght & I had to came back home for the way that they were talking & looking at me. I feel preety much alive & this negativity put me down. Hope you had a good weekend bucky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I am so sorry that you had to come home early from the party because of how you felt. I understand totally where you are coming from. I remember one time I ran into someone about a year from my surgery and they looked shocked to see me. They commented, "wow, you look good" with almost a question mark at the end and pretty much rushed out of the store like they had seen a ghost. I'll never forget that, it was just so bizarre!!! Keep hanging in there - show these people that you are very much alive and not going anywhere!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Oh Bucky your singing to the choir! YEP I know that look only to well! It's like we are dead people walking! I STILL get those looks, and I have been a LC survivor for over 11 years. I LOVE it though when I tell people I am a LC Survivor, and then they give me the DEATH LOOK and I say, Yep, I'm 11 years out and still going strong!! Then they don't know WHAT TO SAY! You should see the look when I tell them I am a ONE LUNGER and I had late stage LC. TOO TOOOO FUNNY! I also say things like, Yep, I'm still here and still kicking! Please don't let people intimidate you that way, You have nothing to feel bad about. You don't have to hang your head for anyone. I am very proud to be a lung cancer survivor, this wasn't easy getting where I am today. And I want the world to know that. Hang in there! You may have to teach these people that those of us with Lung Cancer DO beat it and DO live long and somewhat normal lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Hey Bucky, I don't like being forced to talk about it...or think about it when I'm trying to enjoy myself. Plus it is hard to stay composed. People think it is invitation to tell stories about a friend or family member who was dx'd and then passed away fast. And oh how they suffered.... And of course there is always a reason why someone gets cancer. Even if I didn't smoke, I must have been thinking negative thoughts. This is why I got LC and they won't. Right....I probably ate too many chocolate chip cookies and not enough oranges. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Oh, crap, Barb, it was the chocolate chip cookies??! Bucky, try not to let 'em get you down. Doesn't matter how ya got it, doesn't matter how you beat it, just do it. Perspective-wise, we are ALL dying, not just the people with LC. Unlike most of 'em, we realize that and know to wring each precious drop out of life. Sad for them, huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexan Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 THANK YOU GIRLS!!!!!! bucky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myrnalu Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 I get that too Bucky.Im tired of hearing,How Do You feel?You look good. I usually say I am good,Im here and plan on sticking around as long as I can.Not planning on going any where any time soon. Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Or do you get this one, "How's your health?" They have NOSE problems. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 [ "Snowflake ] ...we are ALL dying, not just the people with LC. Unlike most of 'em, we realize that and know to wring each precious drop out of life. Sad for them, huh? Right on -- LOVE IT!! Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexan Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Yes!!! you are all right !!!! For me the worst one is "you look wonderfull" Have a good week, going to Dallas to visit my doughter & grand. Hugs bucky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlemike Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 I was reading Connies medical record. 11 years,wow that is fantastic,gives me hope for myself and I am sure others as well. I wish more long term survivors would post. I also used to be one of the people you talk about. I never knew what to say to people with cancer and also thought it was a death sentence. So now when people look or say things I just try to understand because I was the same way/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonni Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Like someone said...don't let it bother you...You are here and that's all that matter's... I think we all get around the same stuff...It's been over 2 and a half years for me and I still get the same stuff from people I haven't seen in a while... 'HOW DO YOU FEEELLLLL???...YOU LOOK WONDERFULLLL!!! Like snow said...we are all here on borrowed time...and those that say those things to 'us'...may be gone before we are....So take it with a grain of salt...and live your life like normal...You know me...I want to live normal...no 'new normal' stuff for me' good luck...and God Bless all of us...we need HIS blessing for ignorant people that ask us stupid questions...PamS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ursol Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 We all go through the same stuff. It does bother me too but I'm trying to shock people in the process with my responses so the next time they won't say anything. My job is a great example..I just want to work and don't want to talk only about my illness yet it never fails. I had a meeting yesterday and we had an agenda but my male colleague wanted to know how I was really. So I said "my days are numbered". He asked me a couple more questions and I said realistically if I live five years I'm going to do a little dance. With family my response when they annoy me with how do you feel I might say something like "I feel like dead man walking" just to see their response. This stuff adds some humor to my life. I hope I live to be 100 just to mess up their pre-conceived notion of what is supposed to happen to me. Lilly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz13 Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Hey Bucky, Don't let it get you down. We do look wonderful, considering what the alternative was. Everyone here has got it right. I think we all feel about the same, just different thing stand out for different people. I don't mind the first few minutes. I just smile and say thanks. It's the next ones that bother me. Neither one of us has anything to say. They are afraid to say the wrong thing and I, personally, just don't care enough to say anything. Though when they start the cancer stories, I stop them in their tracks. " I really don't want to hear about people dying". Smile. Hopefully it makes them think the next time they open their mouth. And when they talk about us at a distance, it's a good thing. They're certianly not talking smack. ( It's not allowed when you're sick) So any talking about our cancer is a good thing. It raises public awareness. As far as a "new" normal, I don't have one. I have a "new" life. And I love it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I've found peace, hope, patience, delight. I've learned to smile. So many things that I didn't have before. I told someone the other night. "I didn't know who I was until I wasn't." I enjoy each day now, and I smile when I think of how much God has blessed me through this illness. In the begining I thought it was quite a rude smack in the head, but now I am grateful for all that I've learned. Hugs, Liz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Hang in there Bucky and don't ever leave a party early again...unles it's just a terrible party to begin with! I think this happens to everyone, even the caregivers. When people used to ask Dennis how he was doing and give him "the look" he would just reply, "I'm fine...but how are you?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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