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3,000 miles away...

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I'm still in shock from the awful news we received yesterday! It's even harder when I'm in NC and Dad (and everyone else) are in CA. Friends have been great, but I want to be with Dad!

I am studying to be a nurse so knowing what I know doesn't make this any easier. Then again, knowledge can be power. For now I'm just numb.

Stumbled across this message board while looking for information and I'm so glad I found y'all! Thank you for creating this website...I have a feeling it will be a Godsend.

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I understand your need to be with your Dad. My mother is in NC and I'm in Alabama. It's hard not to drop everything to go be with them. But I bet your Dad doesn't want that. As much as he would probably love to see you, he probably wants you to live your life. When my Mom was first diagnosed, I had extended my visit over the Christmas Holidays. She finally kicked me out and told me to go back to my life. I call just about every day, but I have to remember to talk about life, not just the disease.

I suspect that being far away, and being a nursing student you will want to know everything about all the treatments and how he is feeling. I do too. I finally got on my mom's nerves. Now I have to remember to be attentive to how she is feeling, but to talk about the little things, the way we always did.

If you can head out there for a visit, try to arrange it to coincide with a Dr. visit. I was able to go with my mom to her first appointments abd talk with the doctors and, more importantly, exchange phone numbers with them. I am very conforted knowing that I can call them myself if I need to.

One other thing I've been able to do long distance is prepare questions. When my mom was preparing for her chemo, I emailed her and her best friend (who goes with her to appointments) a list of questions. The Dr. was terrific about answering the questions and explaining. His PA even wrote the answers to some questions so she could take it home with her.

As the shock wears off, you will find other ways to help your Dad. God Bless you. You are where I was just a couple of months ago. You don't like it, but you learn to deal with it. This site is certainly more hopeful that almost any other website out there. I'm so glad you found your way here! --Susan

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