Jump to content

Losing a parent in early adulthood


Treebywater

Recommended Posts

Man, it's like you all are in my head! I'm 29 (was 28 when Mom passed) and this feels absolutely abnormal to me. There are so many things I have yet to do in life that my mother will not get to experience with me. I'll (hopefully) one day get married and have children and she won't be there...I'm frightened now thinking about how to parent without my Mom around. I should be getting my undergrad degree next year (something I have been chipping away at since 1996--with a 3 year break after that) after having gone back part-time since 2002...well, she won't be there to see that. What about my first house? Who will help decorate?! Looking forward, it seems like a lot of those life events will be bittersweet...like somehow they won't be as awesome as they should be because the one person I MOST wanted to share those things with won't be there. Like somehow instead of absolute tears of joy at the birth of a baby I will also have tears of pain because my awesome Mom (who I was always looking so forward to seeing in action as a grandmom) will have missed it.

I too was expecting another 30 years or so with Mom, Treeby...this is too soon. I am grateful for the 28 years we had (but you may as well say 23 because you don't seem to be aware of yourself and your relationships until you're like 5 or 6 years old) but I want more! How am I supposed to make it through the rest of my life (say 40-50 years if I'm lucky) without a Mom? I feel like it's the worst thing that could happen to me. She was young (53) and so was I and it has been absolutely devastating.

I looked into daughters without mothers on the web but it seems to focus on pre-teen or teenage girls. Or the books I've looked at are for women who are 40-60. And you're right, what about us? What about the people just making it out of "infancy" struggling along the halls of adulthood without one of the two people you trusted before you even knew what your name was?!! Maybe we should all get together and write a book for that age bracket...I know this board is one of the few places I can be honest about my grief and reading postings from other people about what they're going through or been through helps me to cry (because it's still hard for me to do that). I don't think losing a parent at any age is easy (a million years wouldn't be enough with her even when we hit the bumpy roads of life--but she rocked!) but I do think that your life stage influences the type of grief you may go through, not intensity or length of time or any of that...it's something very intangible yet so tangible that it affects.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.