crystleshoe Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I dont get how I can be fine one minute and the next Im not. Off I go to the grocery store today, singing along to the radio and enjoying a beautiful sunny day, I do my shopping and all is good> i saw my son who works there and we talked about Easter dinner. I check out and by the time I get in the car I am sobbing. I guess just the thought of Easter without my mom set me off. I cant imagine how all of you who lost your wife or husband to this incredibly sucky disease handle it. I also have a question. Mom and Dads wedding anniversary is coming up on April 6th, should I make a point to spend the day with dad or do you think he would rather not make a big deal of it. I am so missing my mom this week. I wish there was a direct line to Heaven so we could call our loved ones when we need them. Now wouldnt that be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Invite your Dad out for lunch or dinner or an ice cream cone. He'll let you know if he would rather be alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I agree with Ginny. I did not want to be alone on my wife's first birthday after her death. Other men may prefer not to remember it. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I wish there was a direct line to Heaven so we could call our loved ones when we need them. Now wouldnt that be nice. Yes, it would be nice! ((Hugs)), Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Cheryl, As for feeling unstable , it has been exactly like that for me. Even after a year, it still happens. Out of the blue, a thought, a song, a special day , an object .. anything will still turn my smiles to painful tears. The tears usually go again, the way they appeared. Special days and occasions have been the hardest for me. You might want to frankly tell your Dad that you know this is going to be a hard day and ask if he would like company . I know, in my own case, I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and my tears. Everyone is different. Having friends and family tell me that they were aware of what day it was and wanted to know if I was ok was enough for me. It meant a lot to know others understood. Take care.. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Cheryl, I know exactly how you feel. Just this morning I had my annual check-up. My doc asked me how the past year had been. I burst into tears. Boy, she sure didn't know where that was coming from; either did I!! Sometimes tears just happen when you least expect them. I agree with the group. Ask your Dad out to do something special. If he doesn't feel up to it, that's OK. At least he knew you remembered their special day, and will appreciate it. Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I can so relate to what your are saying.... I was at the annual St. Patricks Day parade this year... Having a great time with my daughter, her husband, my adorable grandson... The band came marching down the road playing Oh Danny Boy and BAM my daughter and I both started to cry... you see, Dad was a fine Irish gentleman and Danny Boy was sung at his funeral. My poor husband and my daughters husband could not figure out what THEY did to cause us to cry.... poor guys. As far as your parents anniversary goes... what I did with Mom was offer to spend the day with her, then the ball was more or less in her court. It worked well.... Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 On my anniversary, my boys all seem to have gotten together for some pre-planning in order to keep me busy on that day. Although they mean well and do manage to keep me occupied, it still doesn't take away the thoughts of "what if" that fill my head. But, I know that I would definitely prefer having their company on special days versus being alone. I'm sure your Dad would jump at the idea of spending any day with his beautiful daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 As far as it coming an going out of no where, it happens. I retreated to a stairwell at work and sure enough someone from another company caught me crying...they must have thought to themselves "and I thought my job was hard." Tears are OK whenever they come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 Yep... it still happens to me some days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted March 30, 2007 Author Share Posted March 30, 2007 Thank you all so much for the responses. I knew that you guys would understand where I'm coming from. Thanks too for the ideas about the anniversary. I will call my dad and let him decide how to handle it. I think it would be disrespectful to act as if its just another day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 I feel the same, one moment I am smiling toward the sun, then I am suddenly on my knees. Hugs for you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I have a direct line to heaven!! Every time I need to talk to Debbie, I grab a glass of wine and go outside on my patio with Daisy after the Sun goes down and I have a very long conversation With her. When I come in the house, I know she was listening, and I usually feel a lot better afterwards. It really does help. At nite ther are no airplanes and less noise and it is pretty awesome when the stars and Moon are out also!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crystleshoe Posted March 31, 2007 Author Share Posted March 31, 2007 wow Randy what an awesome idea. tommorrow I am getting my deck chairs out of the shed and I think Ill just enjoy some alone time with my thought and Ill hope that my mom is listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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