time is not my friend

[goldy31]

it's been 4 months since my husband Chris past away at the age of 39 leaving behind 2 girls, 13 and 6.

I keep waiting for it all to get better...even just a little bit better~ time is not my friend, as it goes by the loss of him gets a little bit worse, more staggering. I'm trying not to be angry at God for putting us through this~trying not to be angry when I read of people's victory against this disease...why not Chris?? Why wasn't he one of the lucky ones? Why at 39 did God see it fit to take him from me?

We did all the "right" things...nutrition, prayer, supplements, on and on and on...yet here I sit after 17months of trying to keep him alive I find myself widowed, alone, really angry, and desperately sad.

Thanks for letting me vent...

I just miss him so very much.

Laurey

[RandyW]

Laurey Vent away any time you want. It is understandable. In a nut shell My Wife of almost 10 years, passed away 15 months ago, and we fought like mad for almost 3 years. 34 months to be exact. We have only our puppy dawg now. No children. She was 49 when she passed away. FOr the forst year I felt the same way most of the time. It has gotten easier after all the firsts have passed. But every once in a while that Grief Monster still hits me with a brick on some days. Not as many though if this helps. Some things I have tried are talking to her at nite under the stars before bed time. I know she is up there listening. THere is another site we use and recommend called Beyond indigo.com It deals with Death and sdying basically and offers a lot of support online. And Of course ther is a lot of crying involved. no doubt about it. Hang in there, Post whenever, Vent away as much as possible. Another outlet has been writing here about Deb after she first passed away. I wroote about everything and anything I could think of. I also have a memory Box of fave photos and Mementos of hers. I hope something here helps you some. It will get a little easier eventually. I did not say the pain will disappear because it won't go away completely.

Sayin a prayer for you tonite. HAng in there.

[Ann]

Laurey, please don't ever feel that you have to apologize for venting here. We have all done vented our feelings here. I know exactly how you feel and all of your feelings are completely normal. After losing my husband, I was amazed how much anger was in my life. I was angry at everyone, even God. I just couldn't understand why someone as good and kind as my Dennis could have been taken from his family and friends at such an early age. There are still time that I question his death but now the anger is gone. Please know that we are here for you anytime you need to talk or vent.

[Kathleen1]

Laurey, I am so sorry you are hurting. I have not lost a spouse so I can't imagine the pain you are enduring. I did lose my Mom/best friend 7 months ago today and it is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I will tell you that in my case month 4 was the worst. I hit my all time low and didn't know how I would ever pull out of it. I am praying for easier days for you and your girls and for strength and faith to get through it.

kate

[Don Wood]

Vent away! That's what this is for. 4 months is not a lot of time in the grieving process. Cut yourself some slack. Vent anytime. Don

[Mskim]

((((Laurey)))I am so sorry... I wish I had magic words. I try to imagine what it would be like and it is too huge to wrap my brain around, parenting alone while you and your girls are so steeped in grief.

4 months is like yesterday. I have a dear friend who has 2 young boys and her husband died suddenly (3 1/2 years ago) and they are still having a rough time but things are slowly getting better. She said the first year it was difficult to even put her feet on the floor in the morning, but she did for those boys and I bet you do it for your girls. I pray for your family, and for your broken heart.