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Not another message board


KatieB

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When my dad was diagnosed, I searched all over my area for a "support group" for people facing lung cancer- found none.

I went on the web looking for survivors- found few.

I wanted support, I needed help and I felt so alone...

If you build it, they will come....and a long story and alot of work and love later- here we are. The BEST place online for support from people who truely understand. You won't find another place like it.

Everytime someone new gets diagnosed or a family member who is scared finds us, I remember how I felt- and I know that now, no one ever has to go thru this alone....we are fiercely dedicated to each other.

But i am grieving. Grieving in a way that I am so unfamiliar with, feeling once again that I am so alone and lost.

I browsed the web (deja vu ?) and I found nothing. Referrals to doctors and therapists, a website telling me the "steps" and that yes, I am "ok".

A wesbite advertising books or christian sites telling me that my loved ones are in a better place.

I KNOW all of this, but where is my "LCSC" for grief?

I found a "message board" for grief, who gave me a 30 day "trial"....there was no message board!! but a string of e-mails and flooded my inbox from devestated grieving people who post randomly- but where is their support? How do I answer an e-mail if I don't know who they are are what they've been thru and Who rallys around them? It was so confusing and after my 30 days of this trial of caos, I'm asked for a 9.95 FEE every month to continue....What? Seeing that made me feel even worse.....

My first thought was, these people need a place like LCSC, just for their grief, to support and hold each other up......

I mentioned this to Rick.......NO. Not another website, not another message board. :shock: You don't sleep as it is, he says. There is total fear and exhaustion in his eyes! !! :shock:

HA!

So, I take a tylenol PM and get 8 straight hours of sleep, wake up today and realize that yes, I am grieving, but I am lucky too. Yesterday has passed and another day is on it's way.

Life goes on and I am going with it.

Thank you for letting me vent in a place meant for HOPE.

Today, I have HOPE, and grief doesn't own me.

There's only one LCSC. Thank godness it is here for all of us.

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I hope, Katie, that this 'Grieving' forum is just that.......a place to grieve among those who already 'know' us and love us anyway. This is a lung cancer SUPPORT site, and I think part of that support consists of what is offered to members 'after' the fact. Is that not lc support as well? In my mind ~ it IS, indeed.

I feel I have many friends who have moved from forum to forum, and find themselves in this one now. I STILL receive support and comfort from them as they 'know' me like others not on LCSC cannot.

I am glad this is a better day, Katie. It is for me too.

L&T,

Kasey

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Katie, Katie, Katie...

Because of your efforts this community IS a place of hope AND comfort. Kasey is right, it is an unfortunate fact that people move from forum to forum. What better place to find grief support than from those who supported our loved ones in their journey?

I have to say, the visual of Rick seeing all those gears in your mind turning had me chuckling... :D

May you begin to have more good days ahead.

Welthy

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Oh Katie,

I'm here shaking my head and agreeing with EVERYTHING you just wrote.

You are a wonderful, caring person and we are so lucky you worked so hard to get LCSC up and running.

I like to think that the grieving forum is a very special place because all of you know the journey that I took with my Mom. You know all the times we were thrilled with the news and lifted me up on the not so great days.

Even if there was a message board about grieving it could never be as special as this place is....

You just keep trudging ahead and keep that hope that each day will be a little easier than the last.

Warm Hugs,

Melinda

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Stick around the house here Katie. We will be ok. I have been getting hit by the grief monster and his or her bat lately and do not know why after almost 15 months alone. We will get through this. I just look at my Daffodils and Tulips and Then get happy for a while. Hang in there Baby!!

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I know where you are coming from Katie. It's always shocking to see there isn't really a message board out there for just plain grief...but we'll try to support you through Mom's passing as you've all supported me and as we've all supported eachother.

The LC part of this brought us together, but we can know and care about eachother beyond those things LC.

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Katie,

This was the only place I knew where I could come with my grief. This place, filled with the most caring and understanding people is what got me through not only losing my husband but my mother and my brother in law. It got me through days when I thought I was the only out here suffering. It gave me back my wings so I could fly.

Thank you for sharing with us and allowing us to help you. What an honor it is.

Much love,

Shirleyb

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Katie,

I have a bad case of anticipatory grief and I've been scouring the web for a place I can go to receive online support in a simple, easy to understand message board. I haven't found one and I do think it is a gap that needs to be filled.

Those email groups are confusing and just clog up your email. This website is by far the best for lung cancer support, you guys have really done a great job. I know you are so involved and very supportive of the members but I would guess we have some great people on this site that could help support another website that would help people move through their grief.

Work on Rick and think about it. I'm computer proficient and have much experience with website message boards. I, for one, would be willing to help in anyway that I can. I'm glad you are feeling better today, but with your and other's great losses there is a need for a simple free grief support on the web. We could find a source of funding.

Mull it over, it's a damn good idea! Love ya Katie!

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(((Katie))),

Grief is complicated . No one can tell you how to grieve or when your grief should start or stop or even how you should feel. Grief finds me these days more than I find it. Grief is sneaky. One thing I do know , is that I feel comfortable to come here and post my grief. I know that when I post my feelings ,here, that you guys will understand. You will also know that I am supportive of every member still actively fighting because I don't want them to feel as I do.

Katie, this site is about Hope and also the perfect place to support one another in grief because we have been through this together. Love you Katie. You and Rick have given us the best site.. I ,too, have looked. You can write me , anytime.. I care.. So many here really get it and they care..

Love,

Sue

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Katie,

I couldn't agree with you more. I came to this website for support after Mom passed away. Although I wish I would have found it sooner, I have really come to feel like this place is my home online.

I feel like I hit bottom in the grief department about a month after Mom's passing. I went online and googled lung cancer and grief and found my way here. That was the first time I had ever posted on a message board. I was welcomed so warmly by people who I shared an immediate special connection with. I no longer felt alone. And if I can share some of my family's experience that could help someone else, Mom's battle wasn't for nothing.

I agree there is a void for a more general grieving message board. Would it be possible to add a section to this website. Maybe a lung cancer grief section and a general grief section?

Thank you Katie and Rick.

Shauna

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Katie;

I was directed to that same "message board" and did the 30 day trial. OH MY GOSH!!!!! SOOOOO many emails not even directed to me. Just people talking back and forth. I felt like I was eaves dropping on their conversations! I asked to be taken off of their list and the emails have finally stopped.

This site has been by far my saving grace and sanity! It has helped me soooo much!

Thank you!

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Well I am going to say what just about everyone may be thinking. I think a Grief Message Board (one like this board) would be a wonderful idea. Maybe someone other then Rickey and Katie could think of putting one together. I don't have the know how, or I would! It could have Forums for Spouses, Children (in Age groups) Friends, and maybe only make it for people who have lost a loved one to cancer. Well, there, I said. I'm sure there are different ways it could be put together but I was just offering a few.

I think this is a good place to come and share your grief with frinds. Most everyone knows what it's like to lose some one you love.

(((((KATIE)))))

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Dear Katie,

The reason nothing else fits is because you don't have friends at any other place like you do here. When we want to cry on someone's shoulder, friends' shoulders feel so much better than strangers' shoulders.

When you started this website, you started it because you were looking for and offering support from and to other people who were afraid they or their loved one was going to DIE from lung cancer. You have walked through the caregiver stage and the death stage. There is heartache in both stages, but there is also hope in both stages.

Since this is a website of hope, even when there is death, I continually see words of hope. Your friends are here, as my friends are here. I spent a year and a half on this site before Don died making very close friends - forever friends. So have you. Your forever friends on this site, whether they are grievers, survivors, or caregivers bonded with you, and with me. We have all walked hand and hand in cyberspace and loved each other through good times and bad. We know, we understand, and we get it. We laugh with you and cry with you.

I think that non-grievers like Andrea, Ry, Snowflake, Kasey, DonM, and so many others became MY friends - not my husband's friends - MY friends. And I would also like to think that they are "real" friends and actually WANT to lift me up if I'm having a tough time in my grief. The same is true for you. While I don't see anything wrong with a grief support website, why in the world would you, or me, need much more than we already have here - friends that care.

Unless my vision has failed, the title of this forum is "GRIEVING". You bring all your grief right here, girlfriend. We listen, we care and we get it! We don't really need another site - we've got it all right here!

All my love,

Peggy

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That is exactly what happened when my father was diagnosed in '03. My search for support sent me to a different message board where I met our great friend JudyB who directed me here!

And now I still check in and grieve with you in this section. Even after all these years. Even though I dont know many of the members anymore. I still feel a connection here.

Sometimes I will answer a post because I feel I can relate to what some is saying and I'll want to help. Then, I'll delete my response because I feel I have nothing to offer because my heart is still so heavy. So I have to say I receive more support here by reading your posts than I return.

This board is a gift.

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