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Not Handling it Well...

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Me, that is...I'm not. I'm trying my darndest to keep it all together, but I feel like I fail miserably at times.

I work in a high-stress environment. I'm the "associate teacher" who specializes in behavior disorders at the local jr. high. All that means is that I'm a non-degreed teacher (does that make any sense to anyone else?) who, somehow, chose to work with the worst of the worst kids...and I love my job. But my position involves me working with the "gen. ed." students and most of the gen. ed. teachers (along with the special ed. teachers and students) keeping up with what each student is supposed to be working on in each subject, making sure that the work is done and turned in, and dealing with any "problems" that arise throughout the day. Have I mentioned I love my job? :lol:

The principal that I work under is wonderful...allowing me time, when needed, to help out with "Mom stuff" and asks all the time how things are going (and honestly cares what the answer is). I've shed more tears in front of my "boss" than I have in front of many of my friends.

All that being said...I feel like the walls are closing in around me recently. I know time is running out and I want to spend time with Mom. That's fine, work would allow me to take FML (family/medical leave)...but it's unpaid. :cry: I would normally say "screw it" and take it anyway, that's just the type of person I am. This is different, though. We have a new house and my income, for once, is necessary to make the mortgage payment. And we're not able to "cover it" from somewhere else in the budget for the time I'd be gone.

On top of all this...freaking insurace company is messing up every single claim that's come in from this pregnancy. I spend my day at work, then come home and spend a couple hours on the phone to the insurance company getting OB claims straightened out before I can start the nightly ritual of cooking/doing laundry/fixing lunches/picking up.

I'm running out of steam and as much as I know "what" to do about it...I'm not sure "how" I can. It's not possible for me to take time off other than a day or so here and there (until my PTO runs out, that is)...and that situation drives my boss nuts, never knowing if she'll need to find a sub for me or not until it's short notice. *Sighs*

Sorry to dump on you guys...I'm just rambling to work it all out myself, too.

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Delegate, delegate, delegate!

Let your husband deal with the ins company! I know that if you are like me, you like to just do tese things yourself, but right now, you have to put YOU first (after your mom, of course).

Also, can you get to the root of the insurance problem? Is it the OB office? Are they coding things incorrectly, or did you have a change of insurance plans in the last year? I know when my husband's employer changed plans, it took over a year for us to get all providers on the same page. This includes all labs, radiology services, etc; every provider you do not think of right away since you do not "see" many of them.

So, that's where I would start. Get this additional crud out of the way, so you can deal with your "normal' day-to-day stuff.

Any chance you can go half-time at work?

In all, I wish you the relief from all this garbage.


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Good point about letting the husband deal with the insurance...except he doesn't have the "knack" at it that I do! LOL The problems arrise from a change in insurance companies (the company my husband works for changed insurance companies, that is) and when they (the insurance) entered the policy information for the entire company, they entered it wrong. It's "being taken care of", but until then, we have to call and argue with the people on the phone about having it all sent back for rework. Last I checked I'm pretty sure the insurance company had finally flagged the account to send all that was denied and pending back for rework automatically...and we're still getting denials. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR :x

I think I'll check about the 1/2 time, thing, though...that's a good idea that I'd not thought about! Thanks

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I don't have a lot of advice to send your way but I do want you to know that I'm so sorry you are having such a stressful time of it right now. Please know that I care and am sending lots of hugs, good thoughts and prayers your way!


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I teach, too, so I know how hard it is to be gone. I have people say all the time, "WEll, just get a sub." HA! It takes two days to prepare for one day of a sub. Plus I have the "difficult" class this year. I love them, too (there is certainly something wrong with the two of us), but they don't do well with change (like a sub). Thankfully I also have a very understanding principal and colleagues who rally around me.

That said, and through enermous effort, I have learned how to ask for help. Not saying that is your problem or solution, but it has finally worked for me. People from church and my kids' scholl take mom to her radiation appointments daily now. And here's the kicker--they are so HONORED (to use a friend's word) that we asked for their help! I feel like Tom Sawyer at times.

I've even involved my kids. They go to Mom's house after school each day, and now my duaghter starts a load of laundry when she gets there (I finish it when I get there) and my son washes dishes (Mom doesn't have a dishwasher). I used to do all of that myself--now I have a bit more free time.

I found what works for me--you'll find what works for you. I feel like I'm losing it most of the time. :) Sometimes I think I'm hanging on by my fingernails---but at least we are hanging on!

Take care of yourself.

:) Kelly

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I think you need to take a deep breath, take a step back, and then look ahead. What I mean by that is, don't have regrets about not spending time with your mom. Most other things can be worked out in the long run, especially anything job or money related. Your situation is such that nothing is going to be ideal, something is probably going to have to be sacrificed, so make it the best it can be. Focus on what's important in the long-term. I know when I give everything important in my life equal value, I can't take care of them all at once, and then I freak out. I do understand the anxiety.

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Hi Missy.

First of all a big ((((((((MISSY))))))

You certainly have your plate full. But at least some of that will be taken care of as it seems your Insurance company is getting its act together.

You are feeling so much anxiety which is also brought on by but being preggy. As those hormones just keep kicking in. That just adds to your burden.

You just do the best you can for your mom. She knows how much you love her and how full your plate is. You have NO reason to feel guilty about not having enough time with her.

You are a wonderful daughter, you always were and she loves you so much. Count your blessing for that as I know she counts them for you.

Keep leaning on us as we have big shoulders and can help you carry this burden by just being here for you.

Sending your mom prayers and you for strength. You MUST take care of Missy too especially for that little life you have growing in you.

BREATHE....take one day at a time and please let others help. I know you are a take charge person but there are times you just have to depend on others to help carry your load. This is one of those time.

You know we are always, always here for you.

BREATHE....sweetie... If you can through all of this take a Missy day... manicure, pedicure or just a walk in the mall looking at little baby clothes, anything that can help you relax if just for a little while that would help lessen your anxiety.

Thinking of you...

your friend,

Maryanne :wink:

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Congratulations on expecting a new baby! That's about the happiest thing in the world that can happen to a person! When is he/she due? (Do you know whether it's a boy or girl yet?) Have any names picked out?

I don't know how you're managing all that you do. I'm exhausted just running back and forth with my husband to the doctor's visits and hospital.

I wish I knew some magic words to fix everything for you, but just be sure to take care of yourself and "little bit"!


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Life certainly doesn't wait for you does it?

I know it feels like you can't somedays, and yet you wake up the next day and you can look back on yesterday and say "it may not have happened exactly how I planned, but yesterday is in the record books and tomorrow I will say the same about today."

World keeps spinning.

But just know you need to vent, we'll listen.

I hope things can ease up a little for you though!

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Can your budget stand you to work 1/2 days?

Can your husband make the calls to the insurance company, maybe the reseptionist at the doctor's office can help with some of that? You never know until you ask what others can help you with ... so ask. The worst that will happen is your no further ahead than you are now.

Hope it helps.


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Hang in there Missy! Try to enjoy your pregnancy, which is such a special gift, love your mom like crazy and just do what you can. Someone recently told me that I was NOT Superwoman and I beg to differ, and then they did too once I corrected them, but we are Superwomen and that does not mean we do not have limits. Allow yourself to be human. You do not have to do everything by yourself or carry the weight of the world. It will work out one way or another. Keep us posted.

Peace to you and baby too...Flowergirlie

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My mom used to have a favorite saying:

"God will never give you more that you can handle, but I wish He didnt think I could handle so much." All you can do is all you can do. I am also a very hands on person and I think that I have to do everything. (my sisters call me a control freak). When my mom was sick they let me do it all because they "knew" I would. It got to the point that I was no good to anyone and finally asked for help and so many people were there wondering what took me so long. Maybe you could do a time share with another teacher or work part time? It really stinks that we have to work and that most families need 2 incomes just to pay the bills. Sometimes I think the older generation had it right.... the mom stays home and takes care of the family and dad goes to work to pay the bills. (then again maybe I wouldnt like that too much). I hope things get better for you soon. You are awesome and you will be a great example for your children.

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Oh Girl! I am so sorry about all this. When are you out of school? Can you keep your eye on that prize? We are getting close around here.

Please know I am thinking about you. Stay unstressed for that baby, as much as you can!



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Missy--It stinks to feel like you are pulled in so many directions and not being able to do the one thing you really want and need to do. It's ironic that you are dealing with both the begenning and the end of life at the same time. I don't know there is one right thing to do except to determine where you need to be and what needs your attention and let the other things slide for a couple of weeks.--I'm thinking about you. Susan

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