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Every body has an opion, I need yours!


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I think its time for hospice, yes, no, every one has their own opion about it, what am I to do?

ALL treatment has stopped, I Know we are near the end, and I am trying to do it myself with the help of my children, and me and them working all full time jobs.

IKnow we are getting very close, and today he has finally relented and said call them. Now I am the one holding back, Why? because every one has an ipion about hospice, some pro, some con.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, and why cant people shut up about the con?

I guess I will just have to really start the process

of making the decession within the next 24 hours.

Please give me some pros, if you have them.

Mary

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First of all, I'm so sorry that you are at this point.

Let me just be the voice that says, "You can't do this alone." Or maybe you CAN, but why do it alone if you can get assistance from professionals?

If he's not getting treatment and you do feel the end is coming then hospice very truly could be a tremendous help and comfort to you. They support YOU as well. They will help you to do the day to day mundane tasks so that you can take time just being with your husband.

It is ok to do hospice... They will help with his pain and comfort and help you to feel like you aren't alone in this. It is a really, really hard step to take... but it just may be the best one at this point.

Many many prayers for you and your family. Again, I'm sorry you are at this point.

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My opinion on caregiving period...if the patient asks for hospice, give it to them.

Period.

It isn't you giving up, it's you ensuring if things get beyond where the family can be effective, there are others who will be equiped to help.

Hang in there. I know that call is hard...we never had time, as mom passed very quickly BUT we had decided to call as we wanted to make sure to have professionals involved.

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I have to agree - you CANNOT do this all alone. You will be worse off for it and too stressed to do what you need to do or be there for him in the ways he needs.

As a suggestion, have hospice come to your home to help. See how it goes. You'll feel so much better to have someone watching him and doing some of the very difficult chores and giving you some rest.

Please remember you're only human and you can only do what you can do. When people give me their opinions on my mom and what I'm doing or not doing, I always tell them that the way I am caring for my mom is exactly what I hope will be done for me when my life comes to a close and that if I am cared for 80% as much, I'll be incredibly blessed.

And that seems to help people understand that my standards for her care are, from my perspective, the highest possible.

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The hardest decision that I had to make was in my own head and that to acknowledge that there was no more fight and that it was time. Although we didn't get hospice we did go to the hospital a week before my husband died for 2 days - then we came home (his decision) and we had nursing care through the night and check ins during the day. I think there are pro's to hospice cause there is support for you and your husband and family. It will also help with some of the things that may happen as the time draws near and make him and yourselves more comfortable.

Heather

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I vote for Hospice. My Father and I could not have done it without them and they were so kind and gentle with Mom. I honestly don't know what we would have done without them. They were so helpful and a nurse was just a phone call away at all times. Our family really got to know the nurses and it made it all so much easier. And just because you call Hospice doesn't mean it has to be over. Hospice told us that some people go on Hospice and then go off later if things change.

Let them help you and your loved one.

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I'm sorry I can't give personal experience on hospice, but I am saying alot of prayers for you, your husband and your family.

This is such a difficult time and my thoughts are with you.

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Mary - my God this must be so hard for you. I sometimes worry about if and when that time will come for us. I think a part of me feels like it might be giving in. If I call hospice - does that mean I am giving in? No one can answer these questions for you, but I think that the best advice you have recieved so far has been - call them. If you don't like them or they aren't helping - ask them to leave. At the very least, they can help manage the medications and give you some much needed rest. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck to you.

Tanner

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We had hospice with my mother and it was a godsend for us. I cannot say anything bad, only good from me, they were wonderful helping me to cope with the situation. On the day my mother passed, I called and the nurse was there within 30 minutes and she took care of all the not very pleasant stuff because we sure could not. She made all the arrangements with her Dr. and the funeral home. It was very comforting for me. They also made sure afterwards that if we needed anything, they were there for us. They hold a tree planting event every Spring and a plaque is placed with all the ones that have gone, it was very nice and my mother would have loved it, since she was a gardener. My God bless you and watch over your family as you travel this journey. Blessings-Kathy

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We did have hospice and I am very thankful overall. It is true that they can help manage the pain better than a doctor who is not experiencing the situation as closely, as well as answer any questions you may have as the time gets closer. I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is, as I just went through it myself. Hospice will take care of difficult things that will arise that you may or may not have considered. Also, they come in and check if you need any medical equipment for safety. Truly, I could have appreciated having hospice a little sooner than I did but I am glad for having them when the time did actually happen.

Peace and Comfort to your family...Flowergirlie

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FIRST OFF, Thanks to all for your replys, they did help me.They have been called and will be here at 9 am to talk to us. I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT IT, however i feel I am doing the right thing. I have had in my lifetime a lot of things that I considered hard things to do, They were tiny in comparrison to this. By far this is the worst. I spoke to his onc. yesterday and he feels, it will be less than two months, and I will share this with no one but you.

Mary

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