teriw Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Hi everyone, I'm mad at God today. Have been for several days, although I'm trying to work it out (had a few choice words for Him last night). As I was saying prayers over the past week for a good scan, I started thinking that it was a silly prayer. Of course we want good scan results, but does prayer have any effect? If you think so, we could do with some prayers. We get results tomorrow for Bill's PET/CT and brain MRI. We have reason to believe there will be activity showing on the PET -- it's just a matter of how much, I guess. Of course, we wouldn't say no to a miracle... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 I am so sorry for the worry,frustration and anxiety that you are going through. I do believe in prayer and I will be praying for the both of you. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 I'm praying you get excellent results from the tests. I, for one, believe in miracles. Joanie ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Sometimes we wonder, Teri, about how effective our prayers are. Many times, it seems, results are almost the extreme opposite of what WE want. Guess there is a purpose to how things occur, but we don't don't why yet. On the otherhand, I believe my still being here is a miracle. So there you have two sides of the coin. Regardless..........there WILL be prayers that your results are better than what you are expecting. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Adding my prayers along with some positive vibes that all will be clean and clear. I know good things happen to good people. God has heard our prayers before and good things have come from them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Terri, Yes, I do believe strongly in the power of prayer, but, as Kasey said, I think sometimes God has his own plan and although he listens to our prayers, the course has been charted long ago. And, although it seems unfair and we get angry (boy, have I been angry), I think in the end, when we finally reach our final destination... it will all make sense. I haven't seen Bill post for a while, so I wondered how he was doing. Sorry to hear you think there may be progression - but, I for one, will continue to pray for him. Much Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendyr Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Hi Teri: it is very worrysome to have to wait on test/scan results & the tension can drive you nuts. I always pray for patience first because that's the one thing I seem to need the most. God's plan will unfold as it should whether we're mad at Him or not but I feel that praying for good results is a good thing, even if it only brings us closer to Him. Miracles can and do happen. I always pray for good results but also realize that in the end it will be His will that will be done and not mine. With all that said I am praying for good results for Bill and hoping you get your miracle. Good Luck & God Bless wendyr Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Terri, I believe that all things happen for a reason, we just don't always know why. I also believe in the power of prayer. I worked for 20 years in a children's hospital and have seen many "miracles" that happened in spite of the doctors' saying that nothing could be done to save certain patients. Sorry that you are feeling so stressed and are "mad" at God right now. Keep your chin up and keep praying. You and Bill are such fighters. I know that with you at his side Bill can overcome whatever is found on that scan. I am praying that all your worry is for nothing and the scan shows only scar tissue! Hang in there and stay strong! God Bless, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 ((Teri)), I know that this is so difficult. I too get angry with our Lord over this mess. (He and I have had many discussions on the whole "Thy will be done" thing.) I know that my anger shouldn't be directed at Him, but I also know that He understands all of what is in my mind and heart and who better to hear my angry rants. Sometimes praying for good test results reminds me of when I was a kid and prayed for a pony. As an adult I feel somewhat childish about asking for good reports, but I know I am still only a child of God. There are times that I can't even pray, but again he knows our soul's desires. He is a God of mercy who will show us the way regardless of the outcome. As for miracles, I never put God's power into a little box -- He is truly beyond all human understanding. I look at my husband's survivorship to this date as little miracles all the way. God never promised us a rose garden, but He did say that He would be WITH us always and I try to take comfort in that. Hoping for blessings from our Lord for all of us. Welthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted April 15, 2007 Author Share Posted April 15, 2007 Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I can't believe all your kind words and support AND prayers in such a short space of time. And I KNOW you have all been there (and then some), which makes your words and sentiment so true and real. I did manage to make it to church and I asked God to show me himself. I think He just did in all of your responses. There's a relevant quote in the book, "Second Guessing God" by Brian Jones (which I only have because it was recommended on this site). It goes: "Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself." -- Miguel de Unamuno. Thanks again. God bless... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Teri and Bill-- Know that I *am* praying. Don't anyone shoot me, but I'm not a huge fan of the 'everything happens for a reason' idea. I don't think LC happens for one of God's reasons. I think it just happens because bad things do in this world. Maybe that's just because I've gotten too pissed off at God in the past. But I do believe he hears our prayers, and cares, and that He is good even though LC is bad. (good enough to still love me when I yell curse words at him, even). Regardless, I am praying for good results, and good news for you and Bill. And Teri--I *love* that quote. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz13 Posted April 15, 2007 Share Posted April 15, 2007 Dear Terri and Bill, The days do seem to get longer as we wait for our results. I wish I had known earlier. Not that it would make a whole lot of difference. I pray for Bill everyday. I am another that believe that the book is already written and we are just walking the path now. No one knows where we are going or when. But trust the Lord, that the journey will be fulfilling and the homecoming spectatular. I am just starting my walk with God and I see miracles everyday in my life. Nothing to make the front pages of the newspaper, but miracles to me all the same. While I also would like to hear the word "miracle" on result's day, I don't believe it's in the medical dictionary. But I consider everyday I can walk in his light a miracle. I will continue to pray for you both. I will pray for strength, courage, healing and comfort. I will also be praying for wisdom and guaidance for his doctors to do everything they can for him. Hugs, Liz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wondermom Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Hi Teri, Honestly, I just asked my good friend a very similar question. I asked her why we bother praying if our paths are already chosen. I question all the time whether or not prayers can change our path in life. I have to believe that they make a difference. I have to believe that. It is what keeps me going. There are so many people praying for my mom as I am sure there are many people praying for Bill. I will pray for both of you tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyma Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri - a miracle didn't happen for me and Ger,...but that is no reason not to believe that it won't happen for others...and they are possible so I pray for good results for you and Bill and everyone else out there who is waiting right now. I know the waiting for results is awful but hang in there and know I am thinking about you and sending positive energy your way!!!! Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernrol Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri, I will be praying that Bill has good scan results. Sometimes we have to wait for the answer, but he will answer. Sometimes one door will close but another one opens. I prayed for the clinical trial that I was scheduled to start at the beginning of my treatment. The door was closed the day before I was to start, because of prior skin cancer. A new door was opened. I now had time to go to Sloan Kettering for a second opinion and I was started on Tarceva instead of just a chance of getting some other new drug in the trial. At the time I did not understand what was happening, but I do now. PHILIPPIANS 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, But in everything by prayer and petition, With thanksgiving, present your request to God Stay positive, Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEA Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri, When my husband was diagnosed, it was so comforting to know he was in the prayers of our family, friends, and co-workers…their friends too! I too prayed for a miracle for my husband as well as a cure for this horrid disease. Tonight my prayers are for you to find comfort as you await Bill’s results, strength to help you battle this ugly disease with your husband, and a successful treatment plan for Bill. God Bless, Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sis Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri, I too think that God has His own plan, and one day it will become crystal clear to every one of us. In the meantime, prayers heading to the "Boss Upstairs" in hopes of a good test result for Bill. Ellie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri, God doesn't always say yes. We had a friend go from physical life to spiritual life early this morning. He had a brain tumor. Sometimes God says "yes", sometimes "wait" and sometimes "no". We continue to pray because we wan't to be fully within the Father's will no matter what the answer. "Pray without ceasing" I Thessalonians 5:17. Will continue to keep you and Bill in our prayers. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelley (MLC) Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Hi Teri, I hesitated to respond to your post as I have been very angry with God myself. I also bought the book, "Second Guessing God" and have found some parts helpful, but others a bit disturbing. In any case, my Mom is a FIRM believer and hates it if I express any anger and doubt. She wants me to send you prayers from BOTH of us as she definitely believes they work and that God DOES listen. So, we are both praying for the best for you and your husband. PS, you are right about the quote in the book, it's one of the things I remember best and continue to hold onto. Shelley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I don't know the answer to that question. I believe that praying for a good report tomorrow is sort of like praying for a change in weather. The weather plan has already been decided, and we cannot change it. The scan has been done, it has been read, and the report has been typed. Now, I will say that I do believe miracles can occur! But I find it more useful to pray for the strength to handle any bad news, and the ability to celebrate fully without any reservation any good news that may be given. ~Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 I'll be saying prayers for great test results, Teri. Like you and others here, I have also been very angry at God. As Katie said, it's best if you can focus your anger on the cancer itself and just ask God to help you through it. Do prayers work? I would have to say yes, but not always in the way we think they should. Sometimes, I think God knows better for us than we know for ourselves. We just have to have trust and believe that God does know best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri, You two are going through so many emotions now. Keep the faith and keep believing. Prayers headed up for you two!!! God Bless!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Teri and Bill, I have been angry at God a number of times this last year. I can even remember telling Sister Marlene that I felt so guilty because I didn't understand why God couldn't just take this away...He has that power, why wouldn't He use it! I was just mad at Him. You are not alone in feeling this way. I remember what Sister Marlene told me, "Jennifer, it is OK to be mad at God - He can handle it. Far worse it thinking He is uninvolved at all." God does grant miracles and we pray for them every day at our house, as I know you do at your house as well...as does just about everyone on this site! Please know my prayers go out to you and Bill today. I love Geri's guidance in that today you will find out information, and no matter what it is, you will sit down, make some decisions and begin a new fight, or a new part of the fight. Dear Lord, please be with Bill and Teri today as they learn more about themselves and Your plan. As always I pray for healing, strength, and of course, Your guidance. In addition, today as every day I pray for the miracle of healing. Amen. Bless you two...keep us posted. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Terri, I believe in the power of prayers and I know that there are so many here sending prayers for both of you....including ME! I see that today you will be getting the results. Hoping that you will have good news from the appointment. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 16, 2007 Share Posted April 16, 2007 Saying prayers for you both coz I believe in miracles. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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