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Posted

Two weeks today. The past 2 days have been emotionally tough. I am hiding from my grief behind so many different things and then it all comes crashing in on me. Our anniversary was just 4 days after his passing and it was a day of loving reflection. I have not changed ANYTHING since he passed. I just leave it all as it was because it triggers my emotions so much. My mom is leaving to go home tomorrow and it will be the first I have been forced to deal with things on my own terms. I am sure it is a good thing but is scary.

I am again so thankful for this site because I like to be a support for everyone that I can. I really feel empty inside though. I miss him so much! We were so much entangled in our life adventure and I feel like half of my being is missing or something. I love our fabulous memories but my soul aches at his loss every second of every day.

Thank you all for your ongoing support, warm wishes, hugs, prayers, kind thoughts...and sending the same to all of you.

Flowergirlie

Posted

Melinda, there's nothing I can say to ease your grief, but I am praying sincerely for you to have comfort as you work through it. You're an incredible person - and I can't help but think that's a result of the fact that you had such an incredible life adventure, and experienced such an awesome bond and truly undying love.

You are an absolute beacon of strenth, courage, and matchless grace. You really are my hero, too. In words I could never express, you've altered the way I'll walk this course. I'll never look at it the same way since I've met you.

If anyone will get through this, you will. And you'll do so in a way that will forever honor the love you both experienced. I know we're all pulling for you.

Posted

I remember that exact same feeling 15 months ago this week. YOu will bew ok. let the grief out whenever it come out. jdut let things happen naturally because they will. Do things that have to be done when YOU are ready to do them.

Posted

yep, just let it happen. It is hard when you try to be brave in front of your kids, but you have to find an outlet. Of course you have us, but I'll throw in that writing helped me (especially when I looked back at what I wrote and could process how I got through each hurdle). Also, counseling helped me, not immediately, but I knew that I was trying something to help me feel better. I think I started couseling about 8 weeks after my hubby passed.

Posted

Melinda, just remember that we will be here for you. I know how tough this all is but just think of how many supportive shoulders you have to lean on!!!

Posted

It never ceases to amaze and humble me how so many reach this phase of their journey with such courage, grace, dignity, and strength. You have done no less, Melinda. Of course that does not even begin to help you deal with the grief, sense of loss, feelings of loneliness and aloneless ~ and I am sorry. I can offer no words of any help to you, but want you to know that my heart breaks with yours that you have been robbed of such a wonderful, young husband.

We all have not walked to the 'end' as you have, but we have a true 'sense' of the entire journey and are here for you.......any time ~ day or night. You have to know that many prayers are being said for you and maybe that will help prop you up on the very low days.......don't know.

Kasey

Posted

You are experiencing so many emotions you could have never prepared yourself for. It is tough, and strange, and you have every right to hate it.

Be patient with yourself. Your grief doesn't have to be dealt with and filed away...give yourself time and know we're here to listen.

Posted

Dear Flowergirlie:

The fact that in the midst of your grief you're reaching out to help others speaks tons about your strength of character and compassion. It's therapeutic for you as well. Any other thoughts I could offer, pewjumper has already said, and better.

I just hope it's not too painful for you to continue displaying that beautiful photo of you and your dear husband in happier days. I feel a warm, loving glow every time I view it. My fondest Aloha,

Ned

Posted

(((Flowergirlie))),

I understand. Be gentle with yourself. Just take time and let yourself grieve. It has been over a year for me, but I still grieve. So many of Mike's things are just as he left them. Little at a time, I am trying to deal with that, but I am just not totally ready yet. We are here for you.

Love,

Sue

Posted

Flowergirlie, As I read the kind and caring sentiments, I want to add that you've touched so many hearts, that we all grieve with you. Take pride in the fact that you are still reaching out to lend help to others while you are suffering so much yourself. Stay strong...You are an inspiration to all of us. Ellie

Posted

Flowergirlie,

Take time to breath deep. It has only been a few days. But I know you have the grace to get through this. There are many here will join you in your walk as you learn to carry on on your own.

You have my prayers.

Posted

Flowergirlie, I don't have the words to make you feel better but I want you to know how you have touched me through your strength & dignity. Your reaching out to help others so soon after your own loss speaks volumes about YOU. Prayers for peace and serenity for you and your children. God Bless

wendyr

Posted

Melinda, my heart aches for you and your family. If only there was some way to ease this pain. I'm sure you have wonderful memories that will help you through this very sad time and I'm sure you know that your husband is watching over all of you now. It amazes me that you have the strength to continue to support all of us here, while your whole world has suddenly changed. Thank you for being there for us and please let us try and help you. Shelley

Posted

Melinda,

You have been my hero since your first post. When I saw the picture of you and your husband it warmed my heart to see the love you shared with each other. He will watch over you and protect you. Let the grief flow and let God take care of the rest.

Laurie

Posted

What you have been through, oh my heart aches for you and yet you reach out your heart to others when they need it through these message boards. Time heals, but it takes soooo much time and cry when you need to, and pray, and let it happen. ((((())))))))

Posted

Thinking of you sweetie, I am so sorry for your pain. I along with so many others wish I had words of comfort to help you through this. But there is nothing we can say that will take away your pain.

Just know that even though he left his sick body his beautiful soul lives on. He is looking over you with so much love and feels helpless as there is nothing he can do. He is the one who is feeling so free and it is us who have to suffer here.

He will always live on through you and all those memeories you shared together. They were special and will always be in your heart of hearts. He will always live on through you and all his love ones.

One day (long, long time from now) your souls will meet and it will be a gloroius reunion.

Peace be with you. I am glad we are here for you, I just wish like Andrea said I could take a magic wand and make it all go away.

I am sending you prayers for strength and support.

Maryanne

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