yvetten Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Well friends, it is with a very sad and regretful heart that I post this. My Dad's liver mets have grown quite a bit and his lung tumors have grown. I just spoke with the doctor over the phone and he said 3-6 months at the most. I am not one to pay much attention to numbers like this, but I can see with my own eyes that my Dad is in very bad shape. This is so surreal. The odd thing is I feel a mixture between relieved and anxious. I have not cried. I am sort of in shock, but at the same time I saw this coming. The thing is, only two months ago, the doctor said the tumor had shrunk and he was doing so well. In a matter of two months, there has been very dramatic growth. I guess that is typical of adenocarcinoma, the doc said--very fast growing cancer. My number one concern now is: 1) my Mom--she is in such denial; 2) being able to do my job--I am an attorney at a high stress job at a big firm and my job requires mental concentration, which I am lacking right now; 3) my Dad's comfort. I just don't know . . . that's all I can say Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Hi Yvette - sorry to hear about your Dad, I know exactly what you are going thru as my Dad has just recieved the news that he has less than a couple of months to live. He was told during chemo that his tumour had shrunk and that his cancer was stable but at the end of his chemos his CT scan showed spread to the other lung and pleural effusion. The Onc said there was nothing else they could do for him - we were all totally in shock. Dad is now taking Tarceva as a last hope but obviously we have to wait and see if it helps him at all. Take good care of your self and give your Dad a big hug. Love Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Prayers for Dad-very sorry to hear that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 Dawn: At the onc appointment I will be attending today with my parents, I want to push for tarceva as the last hope. I really don't understand why it was not given sooner -- I kept pushing it at the appointments but the onc kept saying that he wanted to wait. Well, he waited too long. I am really frustrated at this, but I know where the frustration is coming from. Hopefully the onc is not resistent to tarceva this time . . . we will see. Thanks everyone for their kind words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Yvette - we had the same problems: first we were told that Dad might be a surgery candidate then they said not as it was in the lymph nodes, then they said he would have Radiotherapy, then they decided that he could only have chemo (as I had always thought my Dad had unreasonable delays in between his tests I was so frustrated and anxious)and then when we first asked for Tarceva we were told as its not available in UK that there was no way my Dad could have it. My family are paying for it privately for him and to be honest with you at the minute you wouldnt think he was so ill - he seems better now than he has for ages !. We take one day at a time and keep saying our prayers - you never know do you ? Hope your Dad manages to get Tarceva and that it helps him. Let me know how you get on. Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyma Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Push for the Tarceva - you never know. We did this as a last effort for my husband. Any other chemo would not have been tolerable for him. We asked for a miracle for him but it didn't work - his cancer was to strong and fast growing....it wasn't the most common in the book either. His radiated brain met doubled in size within a month. If it is going to get you I guess it will but a try is a try. Heather Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenlaureti Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 I am so sorry that you are going through this. My heart so much goes out to you, and it is hard when you have all that worry on your shoulders as you have so much running through your head! I know how you are feeling. I worry about my Dad who was diagnosed with SCLC in December and is in remission right now, but it is the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of when I go to bed at night. Don't give up and I hope he can try the Tarceva. Love him, hug him, and just listen and be there! Best of luck with everything. I will pray for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 yvetten--I'm so sorry you are going through this. I imagine this has to be one of the lowest points on the roller coaster ride. Push for the Tarceva and hope for the best. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Hi Yvette Was wondering how your Dad is today. Luv Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Sorry to hear the bad news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted April 26, 2007 Author Share Posted April 26, 2007 Well, I went to the onc appointment yesterday with my parents and he gave us the bad news (which we already knew). He gave my Dad the tarceva (100mg) along with an antibiotic in case he gets the rash. We will see what happens. He said that chemo would be too rough on my Dad and he recommended against it. We agree because my Dad is soooo weak. He said the tarceva is the last treatment option at the moment. Apparently, my Dad has just enough liver to function, but that is it. The cancer has taken over most of the liver, and this generally causes one to not feel good. Thankfully, my Dad is not in any major pain -- he just has some back pain but it's mild. His appetite is really bad though --he barely eats soup and water. But, despite all of this he is still smiling and making jokes. This just amazes me! When I have a cold, I am so grumpy, but he has cancer and he still manages to be in a good mood. Maybe it's a front, but I don't think so knowing my Dad. I hugged him a lot yesterday and told him I loved him. I also said to him at one point "you were the best Dad in the world." His reply to me was "well. I'm still here." Meaning, of course, don't count me out just yet. My mom is so hopeful about the tarceva--she says she is sure it will work. My dad keeps trying to tell her not to get her hopes up too high. I was concerned about my mom's optimism, but soon realized it is optimism tempered with realism. She is a very strong woman and I admire her greatly. I still almost can't believe this is happening. It's not over yet but I feel as if it is Last night I had visions about my dad when I was a child, teaching me to swim and helping me with my homework . . . I can't get his face out of my mind. My head is spinning with constant thoughts of what will happen to him? Is he scared? Is he sad? Does he have any regrets? It's so bizarre to know someone who knows they very well may be dying soon . . . I have never had this experience, luckily. On top of all this, my husband and I are trying to get pregnant with our first child. We started trying a week ago. I know it's too soon to stress about it, but I very much want to have a child and I don't know if I should put it on hold. There is so much going on and stress really impedes women from getting pregnant in general. Okay, time to stop rambling, Thanks for listening. Love, Yvette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexan Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I am so sorry to read this news. He is a strong guy. Tarceva could help a lot. hugs & prayers bucky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenlaureti Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 I will pray for you all! Your whole family. I am so sorry that you are going through this, but never, ever give up hope, and spend much time with your Dad. Again, I am so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 26, 2007 Share Posted April 26, 2007 Yvette - I feel exactly the same about my Dad, and I too find it a bit strange that my Dad knows he is dying and I have never been in this situation before. It is such a stressful time for you but I am sure everything will happen in due course for you and your Husband - good luck Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonni Posted April 28, 2007 Share Posted April 28, 2007 So sorry to hear about your Dad....prayers are with him and your whole family....This is such a sad time...I HATE this monster of a desease....just HATE it.... May the Good Lord give you and your family the strength and courage that you need....Peace....PamS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daddyslittlegirl Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel. I wonder often what he is thinking. He has always protected his kids so he keeps a smile and tells us he just doesn't think about it. Try to stay positive. I will be praying for much success with the Tarceva. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted April 29, 2007 Share Posted April 29, 2007 I hope the Tarceva works for your Dad. As for your plans to start a family, it may not be such a bad thing. It can help you focus on the whole circle of life and be a reminder that there is joy in life. You and your husband will have to decide for yourselves whether you are ready, but I'm betting your Dad would love knowing there was a little one on the way. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 I hope the tarceva works for your dad. If your dad is like me, he is not afraid to die but will miss his loved ones. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 First, thanks to all of you for your kind words and concern. I visited my Dad on Friday night and Sunday afternoon. He started the tarceva on Thursday morning. By Friday night he was eating fruit (something he has not done in many months), sitting up with us and talking. By Sunday afternoon, he was eating more fruit, had a slice of pizza and an ensure, and was chatty and joking. This is quite a change! I don't want to jinx anything (as if that was possible), but maybe the tarceva is working? My Mom said she has noticed a difference in his coloring and that he feels hot to the touch, like he has a slight fever (but there is no actual fever). Anyway, at the least, I am happy he feels better. He does not admit he feels better, he only says, I feel ok, which is what he has been saying the whole time, whether he has been good or bad. That's my Dad! If nothing else, if mood is an indicator, he is in a better mood! No matter how long or short the tarceva at least appears to be working, I will take it! But, I am very much hoping from the bottom of my heart that this is the mircle drug that keeps him going for a long time. By the way, no rash yet! Is this common or do most people get the rash right away? He has only been on it 4 days or so so it's hard to tell. Thanks. --Yvette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtay Posted April 30, 2007 Share Posted April 30, 2007 Yvette - my Dad didnt get a rash until about 7 days after starting Tarceva. Please that there is an improvement. Love Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted April 30, 2007 Author Share Posted April 30, 2007 Thanks, Dawn! Good to know that it may take a week or so to get the rash. Not that I *want* my Dad to have a nasty rash, but I have heard that it is a sign it is working. I have also heard that a rash is almost inevitable. Who knows At this point in time, every day that I get to have my Dad in my life is a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted May 2, 2007 Author Share Posted May 2, 2007 Well, it seems that tarceva is not working after all. Dad is judt getting thinner and thinner, no rash has appeared, and he said he feels worse and worse every day. Eating is just getting very hard for him. I had my hopes up for tarvceva to work but it was not to be. I know there are other going through the same thing as I am right now on the board and I feel a certain kinship with them now. I am so very sorry for us all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Yvette--I'm so sorry that the Tarceva doesn't seem to be working. Your dad's upturn over the weekend might have been from the hope that the Tarceva was giving him--a testament to how powerful hope is. Thinking of you and praying for the best. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ernrol Posted May 2, 2007 Share Posted May 2, 2007 Yvette, I don’t know if you have given the Tarceva a long enough time to work. I started taking Tarceva on the first day of my chemo. It took 4 months till I went into total remission. I have been Taking Tarceva for 22 months and I have never got a rash that I noticed. My wife thought I had a slight rash the first week, but I couldn’t tell. I would give it a little more time. Stay positive, Ernie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvetten Posted May 3, 2007 Author Share Posted May 3, 2007 Susan, thanks for the kinds words and thoughts. Ernie, thanks for sharing your story -- I will give it more time before I jump to any conclusions. I just don't want to get my hopes up too high in the face of no evidence that it is working (at least no relief of the bad feelings my Dad has). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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