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Preparing for the worse


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I just lost my father on Feb. 23rd and on Jan 29th my mother was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma stage IV with mets. She is 76 and my best friend. I am having a hard time keeping it all together-my mom, my job, my kids, my husband, my family....It is something. My mom was given 2-6 months in January. Each week she is getting worse. Vomiting, losing weight, coughing and gagging, weak and just fading away. She has a dever pneumex tube from her lung that I drain daily. She is on hospice. we are taking her to the shore on the 28th one last time to watch the ocean. I am afraid she won't last 4 weeks. I am afraid of it all. How do I help my children thru this when I can't help myself. I am now medicated (paxil) and I took myself off of the sleeping pills due to headaches. I feel lost and I hate seeing my mom like this. Maybe I should contackt the grief counselor from hospice. I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare.

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I am so so sorry that you have had to endure so much! I am so glad that you did get some help with medication. I think you are right to see a grief counselor. You have every right to feel the way you do. Though I can't offer advise from experience, I can send my prayers to you to have strength and courage. Take it one day at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your whole family.

Dana

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I'm so very sorry that you are having to go through this especially so soon after losing your father. I think the grief counselor is a very good idea. The hospice people are wonderful people & hopefully can give you the emotional help you need right now and give you some tips on how to help your kids get through this. Is it possible to take mom to the shore sooner than the 28th? Perhaps with some special planning you could manage it. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Good Luck & God Bless

wendyr

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I understand how you feel... my father is 68 we are awaiting Dx. the 2 dr's I have talked to are 99% sure it is cancer of some sort with Mets.

I have 3 kids only one who is old enough to really know whats wrong and that his Grandfather may be dying... we explained as simply without gorry details of what may be going on and what we may need to do and what may likely happen.

I am medicated too (Lexaprofor Depression and Sonata for sleep) I say if you can afford it take a leave of absence from your job...it should qualify under the family leave act. spend the time trying to say goodbye and to cope...you could spend some of it excercising/meditating/or even doing some sort of craft as a way to cope

hope this helps you in some small way... and go see the coast as soon as you can

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Oh gosh I'm so sorry you're in such a position...but glad you found us where we can help support you!

I still have many days when the thought of having to help my daughter through my mother's death is overwhelming and we've been here almost two years now. I'm not sure how I'LL get through it, let alone help her. And, I too was medicated (you'll see it's a common thing, actually) until I became pregnant. I took it one step farther and not only had the antidepressant and the sleeping pill...but had xanax for anxiety. Good ole pharmaceuticals!

Please, let us know how we can support you, help you, and comfort you. This is a wonderful place for all of those things...along with information and hope!

Much love and many prayers...

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I'm so sorry to hear of what you and your family are going through. Please try and keep this in mind:

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and Wisdom to know the difference.

It helps me so much. Blessings to you.

Laurie

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Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and praying for better results for your mom.

You havn't posted in awhile to give us any updates.

Please know that we are always here for you and you do not have to go through this alone. So many of us have walked in your shoes.

Maryanne

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