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I can't seem to get through


Mskim

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I cant seem to get through any of the posts today without crying. I want to say something to everyone but always start to write about me. I am telling myself it is not that I am being selfish but that we all have so much in common that we could write each others posts.

I still feel selfsih, and my step fathers words at moms graveside service in November ring out, he said we were self pitying (my brother and I).

I thought that after the year was up that I would feel a little lighter but today, I guess, is just a bad day. I am feeling so lost without my mom. Surely tomorrow will be better, although it is my step fathers wedding day. At least he waited a year for that part. How do I stop wallowing? I know I am in control here, I am responsible for picking myself up and putting on the happy face but I just can't do it. Maybe I need a kick in the a$$...lol.

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Listen here.... don't let those words ring in your memory any longer.... "self-pitying"??? You bet you are feeling sorry for yourself, and I think that is quite normal... you lost your Mom. Really, isn't that what grief really is anyway??? We are all in a way "self-pitying"....we all want our loved ones back. Darn I hate when people say the most insensitive things - they just don't "get it" do they? Sorry today is a bad day.... I am sure tomorrow will be abit better for you. Love, Sharon

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Kim--

You wanna know what kind of a wreck I was on the days leading up to the wedding? I was a crazy freaking wreck. Poor husband couldn't keep me together, and neither could I.

OF course it's a crappy day. Know what? I had one too... One where all I wanted was my Mommy. Those days are ok for us to have. We have them not because we are selfish or self-pitying but because we LOVED OUR MOMS.

Be gentle with yourself and know it is ok to feel feelings.

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Kim I am sorry you were having a bad day yesterday I am hoping today is a little easier for you. You are entitled to have some bad days, You MOM was stolen from you and there is nothing in the world that can compare to that. You take your time with the healing process and if people dont like the way you are doing it then you should kick their a$$e$. (that might make you feel better.. lol ) Just know that we do understand and are here for you.

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If you just pick up and put on the happy face, you are denying your feelings and your feelings are always OK. That is how you get through them and grow and heal. There is nothing easy about losing someone you love so very much. Cry and laugh and feel all the things you have to feel except for guilty for feeling those feelings. (((Hugs)))

Peace to you...Flowergirlie

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Hi Kim

Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and I hope you are feeling better.

Everyone heals in their own time. One day it will not hurt as much.

I know Mother's day is coming up and anyone who lost a mom will have that lost feeling that she is not here to be with us.

I am sorry for your pain... I know how much that hurts.

Maryanne

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I appreciate hearing YOUR Experience in response to mine...makes me not feel alone...which is the predominant feeling for me with regards to Mom not being here.

There is no time limit for grief. And even if there were...people would violate it or lie about it. I'm still grieving...will be for a long time.

I haven't been called out on it... I'm waiting for the day someone tells me I should be "over it". That's where I may toss someone "over it".

That said, don't feel bad about how you are feeling...you are entitled!

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I have been told a few times, "It has been a year for Mark".... Who the hell are they kidding???

A year??? I spent 50 years with my brother, every day, holiday, weekend, special times, birthdays,etc... all my life..A YEAR!!! :x

I will losse it one of these day when they say, it's been a year!!!

I lost my dad 24 years ago, and I still cry..My mom 5 years ago...I will NEVER get over these losses!!!

We are ALL justified in what we feel..Never let any one tell you, your grieving time...We all grieve in our own time, and there is no set limit on grief!!

Sorry for getting angry..I cannot believe how ignorant some people can be!! It makes me so mad..

Donna :x

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I think that you are not alone. This is a very hard weekend for everyone on this board. Mothers are so vital in our lives. It has to be hard not to be able to wish them a Happy Mothers Day, if they are no longer with us. I hope somehow you find some peace soon. Take care of yourself.

LOVE,

BOBBY

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Kim,

Been crying all day today here. I am one of those who starts to write about my own experience, too. I'm pretty sure, although I've never been called on it, that some people think, "gee, this isn't all about HER!" I just want them to know that I UNDERSTAND. Sometimes that doesn't come out too clearly, though.

Another thing, people say to me, "I am so proud of you, you are doing so well, Erin." I want to know, what exactly does that mean? Because you see me at the store and I'm busy trying to pick out breakfast cereal, a seemingly menial task, and not breaking down crying about it? "doing well" to me means that I am moving on. You don't see me on days like today, when I do nothing but walk around crying. You don't know that I secretly feel like someone has blown a hole in me and there is no repairing it, and I like it that way. Because if I woke up tomorrow and didn't feel this pain, I'd feel even worse. And now that it has been fifteen months, if I tell you this, will you think I need to seek help because it's time I "MOVE ON?"

Yep, I feel lost, too. It just doesn't seem natural to be surviving without my mom. I guess I never realized that they never cut the umbilical cord :cry:

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I am so glad I don't always have to put into words every little thing because you all do it, becsause you feel the same.

You don't know that I secretly feel like someone has blown a hole in me and there is no repairing it, and I like it that way. Because if I woke up tomorrow and didn't feel this pain, I'd feel even worse.
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