Tough day

[barbara5452]

We all have them I know, but I cried so hard this evening as my daughter left for senior prom, we worked most of the day getting her ready. She was beautiful when she left out. I burst into tears in the garage as I had this thought of what if I never get to see her get married, or what if I never have the opportunity to me a grandmother. So depressing not knowing and missing what I haven't done or seen. I am suppose to have only 1 mega chemo left and then the scans and already thoughts of what if it didn't work the 38 days of radiation the 13 chemo treatments. Sure I have stayed positive or so I thought now I wonder am I just in denial ? Maybe a little of both. I feel blessed to have seen both of the kids graduate high school, but I want more, I want to see them both settled into life. Sorry to ramble but its just been one of the happiest days and depressing at the same time.

[shineladysue]

(((Barbara))),

It happens to all of us from time to time. Whether we be caregivers or patients, we all come a little unglued sometimes, but..... Something tells me that you will pick yourself up and feel better soon. Sometimes a big cry helps a lot. I know I've sure had more than my share, but they somehow seemed to help strengthen me in the long run..

God Bless,

Sue

[ernrol]

Barbara,

We all slip from time to time. Realizing that you have slipped is good, because you know that you have to get yourself back into that positive mood. I know you can do that. When I think that there is a lot of other things that could do me in besides cancer, I realize that worrying will do no good.

MATHEW 6:27

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

This verse helps me get back quick.

Stay positive,

Ernie

[kamataca]

I'm a big believer in letting it out, and then moving on. I thnk if we stay bottled up too long, it is as dangerous as wallowing in self-pity too long. You are facing some heavy issues. It is important to own them, and then geet back on track. You've done a great job so far. Have a tub of chocolate ice cream (or am I the only one who does that?) and plow ahead.

I bet she looked gorgeous!

Kelly

[blaze100]

Hi Barbara, I can imagine you must be in pieces. It is hard to stay positive when the test times approach, but you have so much riding on this test.

Know you are in our prayers. It sounds like you've come through the treatments w.o. major problems and that is an excellent sign. Focus on the good.

And know that if the results are not perfect, I'm sure your doctors (or our lc group here ) will have some ideas for new strategies.

Prayers for good results,

Barb

[fillise]

((((Barbara))))

[ErinC1973]

You have every right to be scared/angry/frustrated/sad. Some days I wish we knew what life had in store for us, others I'm not so sure. I hope you are having a beautiful Mother's Day and perhaps giving your mind a rest for just a little while.

[barbara5452]

Thanks for all the replies, I'm much better today, I have had a wonderful Mothers Day, and the sun is shining. Thank you all for listening. Back in fight mode today. I love you all....