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God, I miss my Mom today...


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Since Abbie's been here... before really, it's just been heavy. The missing her, I mean. I had her sweater with me in the delivery room and after... I wanted to call her so badly from the hospital.

I asked my husband if he ever feels like there is just this hole where his Dad should be now. And he said yes, and that since Abbie's been here it's been open again. Me too.

And now today, I'm juggling the girls. Husband is back at work for the first day. And I'm doing it all ok, but there is this empty spot in my day and in me. I want to call her and tell her all about it. I want to share Abbie with her. I want to ask her what the heck to do about Carolyn who has given up sleeping. I want her. I just want her.

It is just that kind of day I guess.

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First off, I don't know how I missed it, but I did... I had no idea your second little girl had arrived.... For that, I offer you much congrats and love.

I think as we move through the milestones in our life, it is only normal that we look to share them with those that treasured our milestones as much as we do. Since the day YOU were born, anything you did, anything you aspired to be... you shared with Mom... and that feeling will probably go one forever.

I think it is a tribute to your love for her that you still feel that great desire to share your life with her. Sometimes I think back on all the things that Daddy has missed since his passing - and it hurts to know that he wasn't here to share in my joy. But I keep clinging to the hope that somehow, somewhere, he is sharing in it, just not in the way I am use to... and I hope the same for your Mom. Love, Sharon

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Oh Val...

I can only imagine! I know my time is coming and these are the things I imagine for myself, too. When Sabrina was a baby I was on the phone with Mom all the time and I've said over and over again "What am I going to do? Who am I going to call??" Just those little things that you want to share and have your mom enjoy with you!!!

I'm walking with you, Val...every step of the way.

And have you ever thought "antihystamine" :shock::wink::lol: for those nights Carolyn won't sleep! LOL *Grins* Hoping tomorrow's better for you and yours...

Much love...

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Its been that kind of day for me too, It seems every where I turn in my house is something to remind me of my mom. I am grateful for all the time I had with her but I am so so so sad for all the time I wont have with her. There is no one that can compare with a mother.

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I waxed poetic and my kids somehow closed the window when I stepped away but...


Abbie is a beautiful name.

I wish your mom was with you too. My heart has the hole and aches with yours.

I remember Cam & Chloe were pretty close in age, 17 months apart. Cam would NOT sleep. I would lay on his floor wrapped in a blanket with a pillow and Chloe latched onto me, and Cam playing on the floor.

I was so exhausted, and I remember calling my mom as soon as I could, praying that she would be awake and not in the shower...

here I go again...

Hugs and Prayers for you Val.

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I think you should talk to your Mom just like she was there to hear you. I know it won't be the same, but I think she will hear you. I bet she will find a way to answer you too. Watch for the little things to let you know she is around. Have you had things happen that so reminded you of your Mother since Abby was born? I know it sounds weird, but a friend of mine was so upset that her mother was not there to share her newborn with her..and she told me that her mother let her know she was there just with little things..like moving the baby powder..or the baby laughing for no apparent reason..I don't know if this is true..but I choose to believe that it is. I hope you feel better soon.



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My Mom died in 1975 and

I still miss her, more lately,

there is no time limit on grief.

The bad part is thinking of her

brings all those I lost to my

mind, so many over the years.

You have so much to tell your

mother, do it aloud and it may

make you feel better.

Nothing like trying........



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Hi Val - I know I've been MIA but I guess I just needed a little break from the reminder of LC. Hard time lately. A bit selfish, I know...I think of everyone often.

I have been thinking about you and wondering if the baby had come - congratulations on your sweet Abbie!

And I'm sorry you're just having one of those bad days, this is such a difficult time. Giving birth and having a newborn around without your mom...I know how hard it is. Very bittersweet. And it's an adjustment for all of you when a second one comes into the mix - probably partially accounts for the sudden sleep stoppage, etc. Sharing Mommy is a new and sometimes confusing thing for the firstborn...

Just a little story - I was so exhausted in those first weeks after giving birth, nursing around the clock and trying to give attention to my other kids. I remember one day I spent forever pumping breastmilk (sorry guys)and the bottle just slipped out of my hand into a houseplant. I got down on my hands and knees and looked in the plant, looked all around it, and NOTHING. No bottle in sight, it was like this thing just disappeared. I just sat back and started crying and said "Mom, this is ridiculous, I can't do this..." (meaning all of it) and at that moment the bottle dropped right out of the plant onto the rug. I looked up and said "Thanks, Mom..." To this day I have no idea where it was - it's not like this was a giant plant. It's kind of funny when you picture the scene...and my mom and I would often get the giggles when we were together. I really felt that she was with me at that moment.

I am sending you hugs and I hope that you find love and comfort in your beautiful little girls. The baby will help you go on, she needs you so. I know that it's bittersweet, though...hang in there.



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