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My heart is broken


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On Saturday, May 19 I was married. On Sunday May 20, my Mom passed away. She never made it to my wedding - which was all for her and it was the one thing that kept her going. She never had a wedding (her and my dad eloped) and she had dreamed for so long of my wedding. She waited for us to go back to the hospital to tell her what happened the night before and then she passed away. It has been the most horrible two weeks of my life. What an awful thing to say when you've just gotten married, huh? My Mom went into the ER on mother's day (we had gotten her red sox tickets as a surprise because she had been wanting to go ever since she moved in with me in Boston - she never made it) and had a large accumulation of fluid around her heart. I was told if they didn't remove it, she would die that day and even if they did she'd not last more than a week. It went downhill so quickly at the end. The doctor had just told us we could FINALLY resume chemo and then she just stopped eating and drinking and grew weaker, incontinent and moaned and whimpered instead of sleeping. My Mom was unconcious the week before my wedding. We were left with the most horrible decision to have to make - go ahead with the wedding or cancel it. No one should ever have to make a decision like that. But my Mom held on for us. It was her wedding gift to me. It's been one week since she died. The pomp and circumstance of her funeral are over. I know the pain is just beginning. I miss her more than life itself.

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I am so sorry that you are going through this right now. I guess there is never a 'good' time for this to happen. My daughter turned 13 two days after mom died--we tried to keep it festive (I remember that being important as a kid), but it's hard. My best friend's baby was born the day of Mom's funeral. She was so upset that she couldn't attend the funeral, but what a beautiful diversion to the day.

We've just finished the pomp of the funerals as well. Every night I dream that there is yet another service the next day I have forgotten about. I think when things really quiet down, it will hit me more.

Lots of blessings to you on your marriage. I know your mother must be so happy for you. I pray you have some peace in the weeks to come.

:) Kelly

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My thoughts and prayers and Condolences go out to you and your Family. I know how hard this is right now. ther are so many standard things to say but none of them will help you out. I can relate having lost My Wife to this disease and tell you how I dealt with it.

One of the things that always helped me out when I went through all this was to do this, Go out in the backyard or wherever you find a little peace and quiet and tranquility. Look up into the stars and Talk to mom. Tell her everything tht happened today. tell her how you feel. Yell, scream, at god for doing this and ask him why he did this to you. Whhen you feel calmer apologize forgettting mad, tell mom you love her and go back inside to whatever you were doing. Mom cvan hear you. You may not get an answer, but she can hear you. God will not get mad at you for being this way right now. He will be ther tomorrow nite to listen again to a rant or a rave, whichever you have.

Here is to many raves, not rants. Lots of time under the stars with Mom. Sending Pryers for peace and comfort right now.

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I really like Randy's idea and agree completely. God can handle it all and Mom hears every breath you take...I believe it.

Many prayers for a long, wonderful marriage filled with all the good things life has to offer.

And many prayers for peace and comfort for you and the rest of your family during this difficult time.

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Brandie - I am so sorry. What should have been the happiest times of your life have been filled with such sorrow. Looks like mom did hold on and make it past the wedding, what a wonderful gift. Hope the marriage holds much more joy than the wedding itself.


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