Jump to content

Just returned from visiting my Dad

Recommended Posts

I just got back from visiting my Dad. He lives about 400 miles away with my stepmother. It was so good to spend time with him, but saying goodbye was horrible. Is that THE final goodbye? Will he make it until I can visit again in July? My dad is such a fighter, but he started giving life advice during our visit. Such as...I tried to raise you right...always stay close to your sister...always put God first...please know that I love you so much. It's hard because I know what he was thinking. He spent 95% of the time we were there in bed. He was too weak to get out of bed, and when he did get out, he fell. When do your prayers change from "please let my Dad's life be longer" to "please have mercy on him"? Thanks for letting me vent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think your Dad will let you know when he is ready. It sounds like he may be trying to get things in order. I have never been in that situation, so I certainly can't give advice. I know how hard it would be for me to let go of my Dad. I do believe that when God is ready for him, he will take him to be with HIM. Praying for you to know what to do when the time is right.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think he is just living with what we all know. That we are mortal. And don't leave words unspoken. He dosen't "know", anymore than you do. I don't pray for God to prolong my life. I just ask for courage, strength, healing and peace. The rest is already written. Hugs, Liz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Gosh, do I know how you feel. My dad lives in LA and I moved to DC a year ago. I went out for a 5 day visit last week (our first visit since his Stage IV diagnosis 4 weeks ago...)It was all I could not to start sobbing in front of him when I had to leave...

But I keep reminding myself--it was always hard to say good-bye even before cancer...I hated having to leave my parents because I love them so much! And even before cancer, we never had assurances that this "wouldn't be the last time". Life is always uncertain--cancer just gives us a constant reminder of that fact...

As far as trying to give you "final details" etc.--I think parents sometimes think that this is a reassuring thing to do...trying to show you that you would have nothing to worry about if they were gone (as if having taxes and finances in order would be the thing we'd worry about if they weren't here...)But I think it's their way of reassuring you and themselves that everything is under control--and that's one less stressor in your life. Of course, for us, it just reminds us of the precariousness of everything--so it's not much help...

I find it really helpful to try to stay in the moment. Today, your dad is here. He's okay and you are okay. Even before cancer, you really didn't have any guarantees more than that...

Sending strong positive thoughts your way.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks so much for your advice and encouraging words. It's such a blessing to have this place to vent. I hate that you all know what I am going through, but I am so glad that someone does! Leslie-how odd that you are in such a similar situation. I appreciate your bringing me back to reality with saying that life is really uncertain for everyone. It makes it more bearable (sort of) :? Again, thanks to all and you remain in my prayers.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.