Numbness

[bam451]

Numbness is the latest feeling I have. I’m not sure if this is the natural progression when dealing with this horrible disease. The last few months I have been so worked up. I was having chest pressure, and crying uncontrollably. I started seeing a therapist, but I’m not sure that she’s really helping. She says things like “Yeah, this is tough stuff.” And “You’re handling this the best you can.” Do I really need to pay someone $70 per hour to hear that??

My mom started Tarceva on May 4th. We were really excited. We heard lots of great things about this drug and were happy to finally get a chance to take it. My mom had a taste of the lovely face rash. They put her on minocycline to help with it but it put my mom into deep depression. Luckily we realized it was that and we took her off of it. She started to feel much better and the rash continued to get better. Over Memorial Day weekend, mom was feeling pretty good. She went out for dinner, went to a barbeque, got a mani and pedi with me, and even had some family over. All things she hasn’t felt like doing in a long time. Wow! We must be turning a new corner!

Then Tuesday rolls around and mom starts to feel tired again. She has no energy. She doesn’t feel like doing anything. She goes for her CT scan. Is this the cause? Is she nervous about the results? Probably. I can’t blame her.

Mom got the results today. Not good, not to horrible. Doc says Tarceva isn’t working. Pulling her off and putting her on Alimta every three weeks. Started it today. Can they really tell in about one month that Tarceva isn’t working?? Aren’t they giving up a little to soon? The CT scan showed no improvement and that there could be another lymph node in her right lung. Numbness. I just don’t know how to feel anymore