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I want my mom to stay....

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Stay on this earth, stay in my home but above all, be well.

It's amazing how much things have changed for me since she moved in over 3 weeks ago. Even though she coughs CONSTANTLY and has constant physical complaints as well as how much the silliest things bother her (my dog's crooked ear) most of that time has been difficult (she has more bad days than so-so days, and a good day almost never), it's been so good to have her here.

This is how I wished it could have been for months but I'm so appreciative to have the time now. She's right downstairs, not 2 hours away. I don't JUMP in a panic with my adrenaline going through the roof every time the phone rings wondering, Oh no, I hope she's okay, that she didn't fall and then imagining the 6 hours that would follow if she needed to go to the hospital (get to her house, get her prepared, bring her back to my town's hospital, get her admitted, talk to the doctors and then get myself back home - just exhausting!).

So many things are sometimes a blessing in disguise but this one wasn't so secret to me. I always knew her living here would be so much better and it was even more so than I imagined. I highly recommend it.


I really wish mom would get well enough (not well enough to go back to her house because then the desperate worry would begin again) to stay on this earth for several more months without pain or trouble breathing. That she could spend a few months in my house with my "kids" (dog and cats) that she loves and have her daily health care aide, Jackie, that she loves and can just enjoy being taken care of.

Bless you all for caring so much for your parents, spouses and siblings. Your loved ones are extremely lucky to have each and every one of you; your presence on this site proves how much you all care.


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I m glad that you are finding it better to have your mom there with you. When my mom was dx I wanted her to come stay with me but she didnt get that chance. I understand how you feel > Even though I had to drive 45 min each way ( almost every day) to get to where my mom was and she complained alot about silly things it as always better when I was there cuz I didnt have to panic when the phone rang and I was always aware of what was going on with her. Your Mom is so lucky to have you to take such good care of her. You are doing a wonderful thing.

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Just a perfect example of why mom living with me was the perfect medicine for us both!

“Morphine – Disaster Averted”

During my mom’s last hospital stay (a month ago), she was given morphine and a couple of days later called me late at night in a frantic panic that she was dying. Turns out it was an anxiety attack quickly alleviated by one dose of Xanax.

Mom decided it was the morphine that brought on the anxiety attack. I told her I wasn't so sure and reminded her that she suffered from lifelong anxiety and had used anti-anxiety meds for decades when it had been worse. I also reminded her of the dozens of times she's been on morphine and never had anxiety result from it. Mom's response was "but what reason could I have for anxiety to happen on its own?" Umm....gee....well, I'm no psychotherapist but...maybe a diagnosis of lung cancer and her prognosis to say nothing of how incredibly sick she's been. She dismissed that as nonsense, "no because I was on morphine that day." And that's her "logic." :shock:

So that leads me to say that though it could have been the morphine, it may very well have not been the morphine. I mean, she also drank orange juice that day, why not blame the OJ?

Well, I saw mom’s nurse yesterday and she told me she ordered another drug instead of Roxynal because mom said she’s allergic to morphine. :roll::roll:

I told the nurse this story and asked her not to tell my mother it’s morphine – just use the term Roxynal because my mom’s illogical conclusions are doing herself a disservice and the LAST thing I want to happen is that mom winds up in pain and distress one of these days and that they don’t use the morphine because “the patient” didn’t want it.

Here’s a perfect example of why mom living with me – where I can see and talk with the nurse – is best for us both. Otherwise I would have found myself in an awful situation with my mother unable to get relief because of a ridiculous order she placed that made no sense in the first place and then I’d have to scramble to get it reversed somehow.

Yes, this decision was SO right. :D

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I recently moved in with my Mom and it's much better. I can go peep in on her whenever I want. Before I didn't want to call her and disturb her. And like the post above, I can call the nurses while I am right there. Much better.

But on the morphine thing...it turned my Dad into a wild man. They would give him morphine+ativan when he got in trouble throughout his several illnesses and he would go from polite and compliant to being in 5 point restraints. Within minutes! We thought it was the ativan but a nurse gave him some ativan once even though we told them not to and it was on his armband and it didn't have that effect. So it had to be the morphine. And after that I spoke with a pharmacist and he said it's a common side effect with morphine and the ativan just accelerated it.

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