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Grief...a funny quick story


Nick C

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Cried a lot this week...don't think I am done either. Things are hitting me, but neither here nor there...here is the funny part.

Had a good cry during the work day...went out cause I felt it coming.

Collected myself came back to work. Sat at my desk, and one of my younger co workers came in to ask me something and he says, "were you smoking pot in the parking lot?" Apparently my eyes were still bloodshot from crying.

TO everyone at work Mom is ancient history. It wouldn't occur to them that I am still a wreck...but I thought his question was funny.

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I could totally see that too. It was the same when I worked at the law office. After the 10 days I took "off" and my first week back to adjust back into work and handling clients contracts- I was treated as if everything was fine and dad was something sad that "happened" a few weeks before....

So I do understand. there will be alot of days like you had, and I'm so sorry. It just really sucks.

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haha, yes Nick, I have been accused not of smoking, but definitely drinking... oh wait, maybe I WAS drinking :shock:

I find myself sneaking away for a cry lately, the year is over and it is the common thought that I should be over it, when really it is now little things that sneak up on me. I was at a greenhouse that mom & I loved and I was standing there realizing I really can't go here anymore, it hurt too much. My friend caught up with me and asked if I was sick from the heat. I guess I was a little green and tearful.

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Nick that is a funny story. I guess people assume cuz we go thru the day and are not a hysterical mess that we are "over it". My husband and I were on the way home from grocery shopping today and talking about bills and money and stuff and then we saw the most beautiful rainbow and the tears were rolling down my face and he thought I was upset about the bills. I was really upset cuz my mom would have loved it and she would have reminded me of the bible story behind a rainbow. All I could think of was how much I miss her. Maybe it was her way of telling me it will be ok. Well I guess we just have to go with the flow and take it one minute at a time.

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Nick,

I often wonder if people think I've lost it since I can cry without any warning. I often wonder how their lives continue on as normal when mine will NEVER be the same again. Hmmm, I wonder how they might react if they were in my shoes. I hope they never have try on my shoes.

Just let them wonder what happens in the parking lot!!! Ellie

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Nick, I had no idea!!!! Some people's comments are mind boggling.

I haven't been here in a while and reading everyone's posts is such a comfort. You are right. To everyone around "we are over it" like it was some minimal little loss to get over.

At least we have each other here to cry with and share these kinds of stories - it helps so much.

Kate

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  • 3 weeks later...

Nick,

It's kind of like when you have an injury and someone makes you laugh and it hurts, that pain/laughter thing is how I feel right now. When I read your post I winced and shook my head that people can be so blind, but you just gotta laugh it off sometimes. And I know what you mean about her being gone forever to everyone else, you're just over it, right? Sadly, one day they will understand...something I would not wish on anyone.

Take care..

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