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My Dad, and my first post


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I was hoping to become a member here while my father battled with lung cancer, unfortunately his fight lasted 6 weeks to the day so I never had time to join. So hopefully I can learn how to grieve from those who have been there before, and maybe help others down the road.


ADRIAN J. of Ardmore, PA died peacefully in his home on Fri. June 15, 2007. Beloved father of Glenn C. and Jill Del Vecchio. He is also survived by 2 grandchildren, Jack and Alex; along with his companion, Elaine Robertson. The family will receive guests Mon. evening from 7-9 P.M. in the CHADWICK & MCKINNEY FUNERAL HOME, 30 E. ATHENS AVE. ARDMORE, PA. His Funeral Service will be held on Tues. at 1 P.M. in Ardmore Presbyterian Church, corner of Montgomery Ave. and Millcreek Rd. Ardmore. Int. Holy Cross. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to Chesapeake Bay Foundation, 6 Herndon Avenue, Annapolis, MD 21403

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Welcome Jill,

I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't begin to tell you I know what it is like to lose your father, but I too am going through the grief of losing my love.

Is is so important to know that grief is a personal individual thing. No one can tell you what to feel is right or wrong, normal or not. No one can tell you how long it will last or how deeply it will hurt. What I can tell you is that it is all ok, and normal to feel all sorts of things. When you feel like you are going crazy... it's normal. When you feel like you can't go on... that's normal too. When you smile and laugh and feel warmth remembering him...that's normal and ok too. Often on this site people talk about LC being a roller coaster ride. It is, and so is the grief that follows the loss of someone to it. You will have good days, and horrible days. As time goes on, you will get more good days where the pain is just a part of the background of who you are and you think you are doing well, and then you will plummet to a depth back to where you feel as badly as the day he left your world. It's ok.

Be kind to yourself. Do those things that make you remember your father and smile and feel joy instead of pain. For me, that meant talking about my Keith and helping people understand just how wonderful, exceptional and beautiful of a person he was. Talking helped me let it all out too. I can't say that the grief/loss will ever go away, but I think in time we learn how to live with it and incorporate it into our new lives. The lives and future we must recreate without them in it. And because of that it gets easier. It's hard to believe right now, but it will get easier.

And please know, when it is hard and you are feeling like you can't bear up under the weight of it, please come and share with us. Let the wonderful people here share the load with you and help you. They are so loving and helpful.

God bless you Jill, and I will pray for strength and peace to fill you.

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My dear, friend Jill,

I've known Jill for over 4 years because we both were supporting one another over at whyquit.com, when we quit smoking. In recent months when she announced that her father was suffering with lung cancer, I suggested she join us here for support. Unfortunately, her father's battle was very short from time of diagnosis til his death and she hardly had time to know what had happened to her.

Jill, I am so glad you did decide to join us. It's not the place that any of us want to be, but we are thankful to have one another to lean on. Thank you for sharing your Dad's obituary with us. My heart is breaking for you. You will find many people here who totally understand how you feel. Take care friend.

Love and Prayers,


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I guess you barely had time to get used to the diagnosis, and now to have to deal with the death of your father...it is just so much. Please know that there are people here who care, and no matter how crazy you may feel at times, there are folks here who will 'get it'.

Please take good care of yourself. I will be praying for you this week.


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I am so sorry for your loss Jill. Grief is such a personal journey. There are no particular boundaries for which you will greive but know that your mixed emotions and deep depths of sorrow are part of it and no one should try to define what you should be feeling or doing at any time.

I am sending you thoughts of comfort and peace.


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Thanks so much for the replies, I'm touched.

Kelly you are exactly right, I guess I never quite looked at it like that. I was more worried that Dad hadn't had time to absorb what was going on, and looking back on all of this it doesn't all seem real because it happened so quickly.

I'm doing better today, friday was difficult as it was the month mark. I woke up crying that morning which was unsettling as it is but then I realized what day it was I couldn't get myself to do anything. Luckily my boss is super understanding.

I look forward to getting to know all of you, I've been reading your own stories and my heart aches for your own losses. And Sue it's great to see a familiar face. :)

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Please accept my deepest condolences for the loss of you dad. Always hold him deep within your heart and there he will live on through your love.

We are always here for you...

So sorry, I know the feeling.

Maryanne :cry:

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