lonely without mom

[deewilkey]

Hello all,

I understand all of your pain, those who have posted. I am also feeling very lonely and lost without my sweet mom. I always had her to talk to about anything and now it is all gone. I just can't believe she won't be coming back to share our lives together. She was so involved with my kids life and we did so much with them together. Now I feel like I have nobody (who really cares)to share the joys of my kids with. I had my grandma until I was 34 and my kids have lost theirs at 3 years old and 6 years old. I don't think I will ever get over the fact that her being gone is so unfair. How do you come to terms with the loss of a vibrant, non-smoking, health finatic losing their life only 19 days after being diagnosed. Why her? Life seems so empty and hard to find joy in. I keep going because the kids, but it feels so robotic and unnatural. What seems natural to me would be crawling in a cave and never coming out. Sorry for the lack of courage and strength, but death is so final and such a terrible part of this life on earth, especially when the person taken had so much more life to live.

Thanks for listening,

Stacey

[kamataca]

Stacey,

I'm with you.

Lonely is the word that keeps coming back at me over and over throughout the day. Grief is so lonely. I am blessed with a wonderful husband, 2 great kids, and friends I love. But I am still soooo lonely inside. It's a physical pain sometimes, like worms are gnawing at my heart, leaving holes there. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy.

Every day, several times a day, I hear or see something and my first thought is still, "OH! I need to tell Mom." It just rakes at your soul again. How long until that goes away? I wish I knew.

I am thankful for you guys. I know you don't judge me, though I do myself. To paraphrase Carleen , I feel like I am 'getting better'--at hiding my feelings, that is. I can't even cry in front of Matt, b/c I don't want him worrying about me. I put that on myself, he doesn't. Adds to the loneliness, though.

We're here with you. I'm just so sorry that you are going through this right now.

Kelly

[Nick C]

I'm sorry about your mom.

I think lonely is one of the most acurate words in describing my feelings about losing my mother.

A lot of us get it.

[crystleshoe]

oh stacey there are far too many of us who feel you pain and loneliness. Today is 6 months from the day my mom was stolen by lung cancer and the pain is as real as it was on that first day. I can say though that it does not consume me the way it did at first so I guess it is true that with time things get better(or ok). I wish that no one ever had to deal with this. You are in my thoughts tonight. You are courageous and strong and you will get stronger each day.

[Mskim]

I know what you mean.. although my mom did smoke and we always said, one day it would get her, it is idle talk, never really thinking that nightmare may come to pass. I have 3 kids also, they were 3 5 and 8, when she died in April last year. Now they are 5, 6 and 10. Can it be they hvae grown so much without mom here?

[MomsGirl]

Stacey,

I could have written your post. My kids were 5 and 3 at the time we lost my mom, and they were surgically attached to her, as was I. She was such a huge part of our lives. I could not, and cannot, understand it. As close as they were to her, how will they ever remember that bond? As much as I talk about her, how will they remember the wonderful, amazing nana she was to them? I feel your pain, and I'm sorry you are going through this. You are not alone...I pray that you will find some peace someday soon...

[angsexton]

It has been almost 3 years since my mother passed from LC and my dad passed about 2 weeks ago from LC. When your parents are gone, so is that feeling that someone is on your side no matter what. Although I have an amazing husband, the connection to your parents is so different. Lonely is the right word. I was especially close to my mother. She was my best friend. It has been 3 years and I am still catching myself thinking, "Oh I need to tell my mom about so and so." It's very weird. I know she is gone, but I still want to call her. After she died, my dad became the "go to" parent, and now he is gone. My husband and my two precious children are my only family now. It is so strange.