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Finally Got the Courage to Visit the Cemetery Today


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My dad was buried over a month and a half ago. Though I've definitely had my terrible moments since my dad passed, I am a lot stronger than I thought I would be in this situation. I cry some days but not all, which I hope is a sign that I am beginning to heal.

So today I went to visit my dad's plot for the first time since his burial and to my dismay I see nothing but dirt. It's like he was buried three days ago :? I didn't expect his grave to be fully complete but I did think that after over a month and a half, they would atleast have the area sodded.

I went to the office to see what the deal was and the maintenance guy said that they had to order some more sod(after a month and a half :x ). I then discovered that they hadn't even sent the information to the VA for my dad's marker. The woman who assisted with our arrangements was no longer employed there, so they just had the form sitting in a folder incomplete. The VA is already notorious for being slow with the process but now that the cemetery is just now sending in the information, it is going to take even longer.

This is my first time having to deal with cemeteries. Question: How long does it usually take for them to sod the plot area? place the marker? Am I overreacting? I want to know before I go back to raise hell :evil:.



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My late wife was laid to rest Jan 06 in a decent reputable cemetary. They have sodded and resodded and i have put down seed and watered but since there really is no sprinklers, we are at mother natures mercy. after 18 months I still see dirt and seed and a mat now. I am doing what i can and they are doing what they can. Mother Nature can be fickle with water supplies sometimies. Not sure about the marker issue. Could not find Debs certificate for marker and had one put in in about 4-6 weeks privately.

Also I have downloaded Google eath the mapping system and marked her plot on there so I can say Hi without leaving the house. Kinda helps me feel closer some days more than others.

Hope this helps some and will say anextra prayer for you and the Family.

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My grandparents, mom and stepdad are all buried next to each other, and their area was sodded pretty much right away. They had markers already, we just had to go to the monument place to tell them to engrave the death date on them. This was EXTREMELY hard for me; I go to the cemetery pretty often, and when I saw my grandpa's death date on the stone, it startled me (I just didn't expect it, my aunt had made the arrangements) and it felt so final and real. It was my responsibility to have my mom's death date engraved, and as much as I hated to do it, I also knew my mom wouldn't want me to wait forever. It was done within a couple of weeks after I put my request in.

My family's grass generally looks bad, because they are near the road and it gets mangled from salt and the plow during the winter. I bought a battery-powered trimmer and I edge and trim their markers and pull some weeds. The man whose wife is buried next to my grandma fertilizes my family's grass because it turns out he knew my grandpa.

It really does burn me up that we pay so much money to bury our families, and then the grass looks terrible, if there is any at all. What REALLY angers my aunt and me is that we put flowers and things on their graves, and then they are either stolen or mangled by the mower. I cry when I go there and their graves are empty; I feel like people must think we don't care, and I'm disappointing my parents and grandparents. I try. I really do. I just can't get over how much theft there is there. And they just recently handed out a pamphlet at the entrance saying that elderly women need to be extra careful because people are mugging them in broad daylight as they are at the cemetery! :evil:

Sorry to rant...I do hope you get some answers very soon!

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I'm sorry that the visit wasn't what you hoped for. It probably didn't make you feel very good.

It's a pig in a poke when it comes to the grass at cemeteries. Each one is different. None are that good. Sometimes they won't sod in the hot summer, because it will just die with the heat and no watering.

The VA is quite slow --- months for a marker. Because the cemetery dropped the ball, it will be that much longer. If it is there by the end of the year, it would be good.

Good luck!


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I know that I was told it would be 8-12 weeks I think or 6-10? for the marker....until then they will have a flag at the site durin his memorial service on Friday....we are not having the interment then....that isnt sched yet...

i dont even think the cremation is done...he said maybe tomorrow...I dont want to even think about it....

the cemetery he will be at states that on Tues they take up the flowers...so 1 week is the longest they will ever be there...not sure what yours says but you might want to check on that....

there def isnt much maintainence unles syou do it yourself...we saw someones marker on a hill and you could tell it was sinking....I felt bad for that person.....

I am sorry it is taking so long...we all want closure with this part of the process...

our anniversary is Aug 17..I dont think my husbands will be done then...I will have to hope it is done by Sept 29th..his birthday....

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My mom was buried in Novemeber so they did sod right away and in the srping the grass grew. The stone was not placed until spring but took 10 weeks to be delivered. We picked a cemetery that is one that is maintained with sprinkler systems and groundskeepers. I had to beg to get the marker placed by moms anniversary date but they did do it.

Good luck.... I know this part is hard, it was a battle or me as I really wanted a place to go honor her.

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For my husband's site, it took about 2 weeks for them to sod the area. However, like Randy mentioned, mother nature had other plans in mind. That sod did not take root and about 4 weeks after his burial we were back to dirt. They re-sodded the area after another week and so far it has been good.

Now after a year, it is lush, green and stable.

The marker is a whole other issue. Since there is no support for me to get a marker, I have to buy one on my own. I haven't been able to afford to do so yet which makes me so sad. Since my Keith was a drummer, a friend made a cross out of 2 drumsticks and that is stuck in the ground at his site. Not much of a marker.

However, I was told that it takes 8-12 weeks from the time a marker is ordered until it is received and placed.

I see you are from Atlanta, so you probably don't have all the same issues as I do up here in WI, but our cemetary will also not place a marker between the months of Nov and Apr. The ground is frozen and they can't do a solid base during those months.

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