Snowflake Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Possible New State Slogans for ________ (Can you guess the state?) The one that looks like a mitten, you moron. Where used cars from Florida bring top dollar. No hurricanes here. The Orange Barrel State. Stop and see the Giant Man-Eating Clam on the trip north. So close to Canada you can hardly tell the difference. We know the rules to Euchre. Got fudge? Two Mystery Spots. No waiting. Yes, the Porcupines are real mountains. Soda? We say pop here, buddy. The Midwestern "M" state without a wrestler for governor. No riots since '67. More than just boarded-up auto plants. casino fever - catch it. Home of Kalkaska dirt, our state soil. Sandy beaches without severe undertow. Happiness is a warm pasty. Imagine an island where horse manure still litters the streets. Water enough for any drought. Visit Hell, Paradise, and Climax. Birthplace of Meijer Thrifty Acres. Where Ontario is a shortcut to New York. Just a serial killer away from enacting capital punishment. Gerald Ford slept here. It's called snow. Get used to it. Where the names of high-toned suburbs needlessly end with "e". Deer processing available here. Not as flat as Indiana. Once a swamp unfit for habitation. Try eating corn flakes without us. Hardly any annoying lizards or poisonous snakes. Big on flannel. It's not the heat. It's the humidity. Smoked fish sold here. Good people with camping trailers. We moved American history to Dearborn. Uncle Ted rules. No toll roads and proud of it. Who you calling a hick? Our biggest bridge makes yours look puny. Nearly went to war with Ohio once and will do it again if they pull any funny stuff. Land of snow machines and bass boats. #@?@* mosquitoes. We know a place where wooden shoes are always in style. Where lousy teams get new stadiums. Consider Amway. Speed limit back up to 70, so move it. The Red Wings State. Three out of four seasons very pleasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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