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Got the letter from UC


mamasbabygirl

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Well, SF got a letter this week from the University of Cincinnati Medical Center saying that they are done with mom's body, it has been cremated and now they are shipping them in the mail to us. I was not expecting this-they were supposed to have her body for three years. For whatever reason, they are done. Now, we must decide what to do with them. We'll figure it out, as SF already said he does not want them in his house. I am upset over this news and I guess I really wasn't ready for this time to come.

It certainly was healing to know that her death was instrumental in helping other people. This makes it so final and done. I'm sad...

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Lori-

When my cousin was dying of ovarian cancer she made all her arrangements, planned her funeral, the readings, the flowers...you get the picture. She also purchased a beautiful sundial that holds her ashes in her daughters garden. Maybe you would like something like this for your mom?

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Lori, take comfort in that I'm sure that moms wishes included helping others even after she had passed by doing this. It is not something to be taken lightly in the decision to have done what she did and by doing such a noble thing she was able to help others in some way or another.

Me, I think the sundial in the garden would be a wonderful way to memorialize your mom, in that she has a light that shines brightly for you and your family and others who you do not know.

Much love hugs and prayers tonite in your decision of what to do next. No tears of sorrow just tears of Joy, OK?!?!?!?

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Lori,

I am sorry you are dealing with this now... although Mom has been gone for a while, this makes it so final. I know you are proud of her and her decision to help others by donating her remains - what a generous and unselfish gift that is.

I too, love the sundial idea - the stories you have always shared with us about her and her courage brought hope and inspiration and sunshine to so many here. It would be a wonderful legacy to her. I am praying for you Lori. Love, Sharon

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I'm so sorry to read this....it must feel like losing her all over again.

I love Rochelle's idea about the sun dial, too. Please know we are thinking about you.

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{{{Lori}}}

I know SF doesn't want to keep Mom's ashes in the house...and I too like the sundial idea.

Right now my mom's are in a box that was decorated with her photos and stuff in SF's curio cabinet...that's how he wants it and we're ok with that, too. When SF dies, we're under instructions to mix the ashes and scatter them at a place that they picked out together. I think THEN will be my hardest time. I'm so sorry you're feeling blind-sided by this.

Much love and many prayers...

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Sorry this news caught you off guard, Lori. I know you were expecting to have more healing time before dealing with this phase of grief. I think Ry has a wonderful idea about the sundial. I think I may look into this for Dennis' ashes, which I still have with me. What a wonderful feeling it must be to know that your mom continues to help others, long after she is gone.

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Hi Lori,

I just wanted to chime in here that I, too, think the sun dial idea from Rochelle was wonderful. Everyone has to process thru this step in grief, especially when their loved one is cremated, and everyone has to do it at their own pace. I wanted to tell you though, that when I dispersed Bill's ashes into the warm dive waters of the Caribbean, there was an immense feeling of closure for me. The days and weeks prior to that moment were horrible and filled with depression and fear that when the moment came, I would not be able to let go...that was all I had left of him. When I completed his final wishes, I felt an incredible amount of peace and healing begin. I hope that whatever you decide to do, it helps you and gives you the same comfort. I'll be keeping you in my prayers Lori!

Love,

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I love the sundial idea. I will have to ask SF. We had discussed taking them to Gatlinburg, but many of her Gburg friends weren't around when mom got sick, so we ruled that out. SF said he thinks we should scatter them over the graves of her family. I am not opposed to that, but wanted something more special.

I still have my hubby's ashes (7 years later), but that is bc I am planning on taking them to Colorado when Graden (our son) is 9. I hope he will remember it always..

Ry,

Can you please ask where the sundial service was offered? Is it something online?

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((((((((((((((Lori)))))))))))))))))

I wish I had advice. I was only given 1/3 of moms ashes... stupid huh? I had them buried at a cemetary with a head stone. I go there when I need to. I do miss them being here with me, but now there is something lasting that says she was here.

Bless your heart.

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