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Now Good-Bye...


onlychild*

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It's so hard to respond to this, I'm so very sorry about your mom. I couldn't stop crying when I read your post, I've been thinking about you for the last few days, and the journey you were taking. I could have written this post, it's so similar to one year ago for me.

I know I've said it before, but you are a wonderful daughter and I am so glad your mom had you at her side through all of this. As devastating and painful as it was for you, you will always know that you were there taking care of her, holding her hand and loving her, and whether it is now, or a year from now, you will take comfort in that.

My prayers go out to you tonight, God bless your sweet mom.

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Kate, you've been such an awesome daughter. You've been so kind and loving in your amazing and constant care of your mom. I hope that brings you great comfort over time - to know she left this earth with you by her side and, yes, of course she knew that. Your love was never missing.

Cry, laugh, get mad - do whatever you need to. I wish you peace in the coming months.

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Sorry, I haven't been here for a while...

I just wanted to say thank you for all of your kindness and support.

Right now I REALLY needed to read that I was a good daughter to her. So thank you for reassuring me!

I wish I could have done more for her and feel some guilt/regret. BUT I logically know the "what if's" do no good and I unconditionally loved her and without question did everything I could for her. As she told me, I was the love of her life and thus far she has been the same for me.

I read part of her sketchbook/journal and she wrote she was scared of dying alone (I think over the years she carried regret for not being there when her parents died). Well, I think she died knowing (or I hop she dide) that she was not alone, in fact I basically never left her side (the number of times I almost wet my pants!). In fact I think she held on for days because I kept "waking" her. Oops!

One of the last things she spoke before she went unresponsive was when I was groveling over her, crying, telling her I loved her, asking her to give me the thumbs up if she was comfortable, basically being a sputtering idiot and she said "Kate, just sleep". It made me laugh and I apologized and said I would let her sleep, she gave me the thumbs up sign for the last time. And she certainly slept... for days!

Anyways, I am rambling now. Thanks for letting me talk about her and for being so supportive.

All my best to you all!

Kate

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I am so very sorry for your loss!! I too, am an only child. My mom (57 year old non smoker) was diagnosed wtih 3B in June 2006, just one month after my wedding. Although I have a wonderful husband and a loving father, my mom is the world to me. We are as close as a mother and daughter can be. The though of losing her is just unbearable. I have always loved being an only child. But when my mom was diagnosed I realized just how hard it can be. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!

Beth

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