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Less than a month-missing her


patscan

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It's been less than a month since Mom passed but it feels like a lifetime. I think I'm still in shock that it is forever. Even though we had 10 months together following diagnosis I still feel like I held back....she wanted to fight and we fought together. I planted a redwood tree in the backyard, I sit often next to the tree and talk to her. I found out I was pregnant with her first grandchild in June...glad she knew (even heard the heartbeat). She told me the day before she died that she would be "around to hold my grand baby". I hope that is what she is doing right now. But as my belly grows, I miss her more and more. Life is a trip--I just can't imagine it without her. I think I'm still mad.

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It's been just a little longer for me losing my beautiful hubby. I can so relate to the "I think I'm still in shock that it's forever." I went through major feelings about that today. You know, I think it takes a long time before that reality truly sinks in.

But that life growing inside you -- how precious it is!

Thinking of you,

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Oh Pat that is wonderful news, CONGRATUALTIONS!!

Trust me your mom knows her grandchild as it grows in your belly. She will be right beside you durng the birth!

One life ends.... one begins.... bittersweet...

I know the feeling of losing a mom but at least I had her for a very long time until she had great-grandchildren. I could only imagine how hard this is for you. I am so sorry for your pain.

Maryanne

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Often times I find myself saying I don't exactly understand, but I get it.

I'm a little closer to exactly understanding in this case. My wife has Mom's first grandbaby on the way and it is hard. It's not how it was supposed to go.

My mom said she'll experience my kids and will be there. It'll be fine for our Moms. It'll just be hard for us. And I can't help but feel my kid has been cheated.

I really do understand!

When are you due?

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My aunt died in '87 from breast cancer. Just 2.5 yrs ago my cousin (her daughter) had her 1st baby. I was in the room for the birth...along with her husband. She and I missed the presence of her mom. She was 13 when her mom died. My aunt never met her husband. Her mom was such a strong, beautiful personality....she is always missed.

But when my cousin went into labor, she made sure she had brought as many framed pictures of her mom as she could fit in her hospital bag. As she pushed and we cried, we'd look around and her mom was everywhere. We knew she was there.....but being able to look at her was so magical. Just a thought for you.....

I am so sorry for your loss........but SO HAPPY for what you are about to experience. I will NEVER, EVER forget the day my first daughter was born.

P.S. I forgot to add something to my story above....the same cousin just called me this morning at 6:30am to tell me that she is pregnant with her 2nd baby! I know that she would want me in the room again..........but I asked a favor of her. I asked if she would have my mom in the room instead of me. It just feels right that my mom stand in for her mom since they were sisters & best friends. And, the one thing I regret doing for my mom, is not demanding that the nurses allow my mom in the room during either of my 2 c-sections. With my mom's diagnosis now, I look back on things I wish I had done differently. So, my cousin said, "ABSOLUTELY! Yes, yes, yes -- I would love to have her in the room!!!" We cried...we cried for everyone. For her mom whom we miss and for my mom who is fighting through her diagnosis.

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I am so sorry for you loss & I personally know how hard it is to be pregant & have to go through all of that. My grandma passed away when I was 6 months pregant & she was my mom...she had raised me since I was 4yr old. She died of leukiema & she went pretty fast. You will do fine & you miss her more than anything...time does help the pain but just remember she is with you & she will always be by your side.

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